BABYLOVE/Bottles/Planning/Stu/FarmPumbaa

Psalm 139:13-16 (NIV)

"(13) For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. (14) I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (15) My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. (16) Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

After rereading different verses from the bible and how God feels about children, today I had a new thought. A lot here lately I've been talking about this little peanut I have and how much my life has centered around the babe. Well- my family too. It chokes me up when I go to pick the kids up from daycare and they both run up to me and hug my belly and say: My Baby. Or how last night both kids hugged around me and kissed my belly saying good night baby. Stuart even snored a few times and said night my baby. The sweet babe hasn't even cried its first cry but yet it is already a big part of their worlds. I almost feel like I have a little OCD because 9 our 10 thoughts in my head are about this little thing. I read extensively about its development each week or about breast feeding and such. I'm literally obsessed. I try to make a conscious effort not to talk in front of people about the peanut because I know it can be annoying I know- but man I'm just so excited. Getting to the point now- reading this verse I get the feeling God is a bit obsessed with us even the beginning when he is creating our inmost being.

Also- My first "real" baby purchase was yesterday: Bottles

I thought I would get a good start on this. with Sondra I had 10 million different kinds of bottles and it was ridicules. I always had a dirty bottle in the sink. Instead of reusing Sondra's bottles which you would think I would since I try to be frugal about things like that but I didn't. I seen how nasty some of those bottles got and thought I just will get different ones. Plus a lot of them were pink. Now with Stuart I got a certain kind after the drop ins didn't agree with him. Which they still are my favorite bottles. I learned though that you really don't need millions of bottles. Just enough for the day in each stage. So you are forced to clean them out right away and they don't get nasty. I don't think I'd like to smell some rancid breast milk bottles. It can't be good! I would have went with the same bottles as I had with Stuart but since I am going to be pumping I got the bottles that go with the breast pump so I could pump right into them and store them in the fridge.  

Sunday I was 17 weeks pregnant... wow.. it's like it felt like it took forever to get to 10-13 weeks and now it's like wow in a matter of a few weeks well will be going for our 20 week ultrasound and finding out what we are having...seems crazy... which after that it really flies... I am not looking forward to the first week after baby is born...The baby will be born the week of Wrestling districts. I'm pretty sure Jake leaves on Thursday night for districts..so I should be out Wednesday if I have the baby February 24 I should be out Wednesday or Thursday afternoon... then Jake would be able to go to districts... I'd just have to get Sondra on the bus in the mornings and my Mom told me she could take Stu to daycare and pick up. Hmm... 6 years ago I would have been ballistic to be planning around Jake's wrestling schedule- but now as long as things are taken care of- I think it will be fine and I'm going to *try* to be understanding.  Life has surely changed and I've matured or I have just given up.. lol

Stuart News!..he has went poo in the potty 2 of the 3 times he went.. last night was poo night but didn't go...I'm *hoping* he went today at daycare or he'll go for me tonight at home!... Potty training is incredibly hard...it's hard to stay happy and not be overboard on scolding when you should celebrate every positive and move on from the accidents... especially when you have everybody and their brother telling how it should be done or how he  (Stu) is just playing you...its silly...and really.. every method is different from each parent and unless you are cleaning the shit out of his pants don't tell me I'm doing it wrong...so here is to hoping...please when I pick Stuart up from Daycare they give me the big news he Pooped at Daycare today!?!!!! oh please lord (this is incredible sad that I'm hoping and praying for this surely another sign I am a parent)

as me and my friend were texting back and forth yesterday I was wanting a picture of her for my phone for her "contact pic"...and she tells me here is the only one I have all the others I am holding babies lol...like it's a bad thing...during our convo Jake & I was letting the feeder calves out to graze and I'm taking picture to send to her of the cute little cows...I realize looking through my phone I have pictures of the farm animals with or without my kids and that about it... lol... Oh the "farm life"...  

speaking of the farm life... our pig Pumbaa came back from the butcher and let me tell you...having a supply of bacon is powering lol.... funny?!..I'm serious... I'll be trying out our piggy tonight and after the kids eat I'll cue them in on that it was Pumbaa...lol... once they noticed puma was not at the farm Sondra franticly replies: "Did I eat PUMBAA????"...I told her not yet hunny! ... I reminded of all the pork foods that she liked and she said yes ..but as long as it's not pumbaa...lol...I should have video ready when I tell her she is asking for seconds..and said seconds are PUMBAA! LOL.. ...parenting win!

REST EASY IN OUR BELLIES PUMBAA

I gotta get going! :) have fun! maybe I'll check back in later in the week! 

fair/77/campout/Stu's baby/smilemoment/crazyhormones /weekend plans

We survived fair people! It wasn't easy... I was a lot of fun but by the end of the weekend it was time to get back to real life... it was so so nice being off for a whole week! It makes me look forward to after the baby is born...
For my Grandpa's 77th birthday I  decided to do "77 years of Memories" for him.. (I got the idea from my SIL who done it for my Father in law)...but it was quite a undertaking. It was all worth it. I don't think he truly understood what it really was till he got home that night. Some of us thought he would read all the letters that night at camp out..I was a bit disappointed..but walking into church Sunday morning he said he said up till midnight and read them all... which made me happy to hear... I'm glad he liked them..and hope someday to have a ## years of memories....
We had camp out again this year...it was much fun..seeing all the kids run around having fun with each other... we have decided to take on a Ronda/Sondra role and do some actual planning..have a few ladies meet a few times leading up to camp out for food and activity ideas and get it done dare I say maybe even a theme... oh my! that has Grandma Sondra written all over it.. ... we want to keep this going... it is so much fun..

My kids swimming at camp out (pic courtesy of Mary)

Sondra started back at school and Stuart has started preschool...I am so happy to have them back there... I love the schedule...I love being back into school... only bad part...the kids gotta get to bed early so they are not little monsters in the morning... Sondra has dressed herself all week..sometimes with some motivation from me...but still...its nice... Stuart's teacher yesterday when I picked him up told me "Stuart is one popular little boy here".... lol... she didn't elaborate and I didn't have time to ask questions...just made me laugh..of course he is...he is such a class clown...he'll do anything for a reaction...

another thing is..Stuart has been so cute with his baby!... he calls peanut #3 his baby...and its a brother lol... but he'll rub my tummy...and want to sit with baby... :) seeing how he is acting now eases my fear for him... I think Sondra was mature leading up to Stu's arrival... I wouldn't exactly regard Stuart as Mature for his age lol....

his photo sess with peanut 

Made me smile Moment:
We were in the car yesterday and I hear Grandma Sondra ....and Stuart goes who Grandma Sondra...and Sondra goes..."Grandma Sondra is Grandma Dee's Mommy and I knew her and Mom and Dad named me after Grandma Sondra".... I look back smile and say you are right Sondra...does it make you happy we did that?..and she says "yes I really liked Grandma Sondra I miss her".... pull at my heart string girl make me choke back tears...

which I have noticed a lot this time around..my hormones are in full swing... I choked back tears as my mom tells me about a young girl going up for special prayer at church because her family had to put her dog down who had cancer or during the week of fair Sondra had to go to the doctor b.c. she still wasn't feeling very well and they were running tests to see if she had mono or if she had any type of infection..and I cried the whole way home that night because I was convinced something bigger was going on b.c. (my anxiety filled mind) has been convinced since she was born nothing can be this great and she must have some serious illness or one of my kids do and I'm just waiting for it to reveal itself..I know craziness...but I cried that night and now looking back feel like a major idiot..and maybe hey..its the hormones getting to me... or how my last blog a friend messaged me encouraging me about breastfeeding and if it didn't work out not to beat myself up about it..and I cried I just appreciated someone taking time to send me a note of encouragement... lol..wow... All this crying...I really need to stop... :)

well weekend plans weekend plans???... Tonight : Friday Night Lights Please :)..the HS boys play Col. Grove... then maybe to my sisters after game for bonfire... Saturday: my Niece Ainsley's 2nd birthday party...of course our gift is horse related... it goes with a Christmas gift we got her... Fisher price..princesses and to top it off horses...Yes Please! She needs it! :)  then Sunday is Church day :)... only things I wanna do day!... :)..Going to make a trip to findlay hopefully to get a few supplies to make extra women's fellowship books that I am officially done making! then it starts all over again! ...

welp I must be going! :) See you soon people!

Fair Fair Fair Ready or not here we come!

Ready of Not Fair Time is here! Man oh man!...I'll be honest I'm not exactly ready. Like I'm ready for the week of vacation but the whole preparing part- I'm not too sure about!... I've got about all the food and snacks...and Sondra is all packed..Me & Stu are going home at night to feed the Calves.... and take care of the dog. I kinda don't mind it...I'd mind less if I didn't have to feed the calves  but Since Stu was born I've stayed home at night instead of up at fair...I've became a home body I guess... I like the fair..but I like going home...
Fair Fair Fair....I look forward to fair every year... I like people watching..I of course like the food... I like the 4h family and goofing around...although next year I need to get with the plan and be ready for Lead Line for Sheep next year... we decided to just show Pee Wee showmanship for sheep and hogs this year instead doing lead line...We have been pre occupied with other things and totally lost track of when we were supposed to sign up for! and then the getting a wool outfit together just wasn't going to work after I started looking and said- I'm not going to stress about this when Sondra has barely helped with Sheep this year...so there it is...

Fair Preparations! Breakfast Sandwiches and burritos 

We have had some bug in our house this week... one of the kids brought it home from Wagon Train... and it hit Sondra and Me and Stu... Sondra has had the worst of it..but hasn't been too bad on me b.c. she is to the age of I'll puke in my own bucket and not on myself like I use to which was nice...I'm not sure I can handle puke right now...I have vivid memories of catching Stuart's puke in my hand....I don't think I can do that right now at this time...I'd probably join the puke-e.... what else?

Thursday I told her I had to go to work so she hung out with me- she was a bum! 

Sleeping on the job! 

I finally feel like I am getting my energy back from this energy stealin' peanut!....I still have no idea what this baby could be...at time since I"m craving the sweet stuff like with Sondra maybe a girl...then I have this dream of U/S day and we find out its a boy and I baul b.c. I know how disappointed Sonnie will be... hmm... who knows... I can tell you honestly I have no leanings of wanting towards either way...I will be delightfully happy... Stuart has gotten on with this whole baby thing... I ask him where is your baby Stuart?? and he says cooking in your tummy... and its HIS baby..and its a brother lol


STUART STORY
So the second day of sickness in our house Jake stayed home with the kids... I thought I woke Jake up enough before I left...but then I got a call from Jake saying he woke up from a phone call from my Dad... he says Jake- do you know where Stuart is at???? Jake looks around and says well No?... Stuart had got up and put his rubber boots on and walked back to his grandparents house....  That my friends was one of the 1st times he has pulled that he has been caught in the act but he was successful ... he is a brave boy...I think its deadbolt time? DO you?

also... Breastfeeding!... hmm... So I've literally have been a wee bit crazy about this issue...my husband says that for a person to be "opposed" to it for 6 years and now feels like she financially needs to do it ...it doesn't make her hubby feel too good about himself b.c. he can't provide the formula...1. Sexism (we both work 40 hours a week its not up to you to provide the milk money) 2. I was never against it- I just didn't have the NEED to do it what so ever or desire 3. I wasn't educated on the whole pumping part I didn't realize you could exclusively pump...here is my plan... its not motivated just for Financial reasons... its just silly of me not to try it... then after learning my health insurance will pay for a brand new electric pump why not try? I have been reading this breastfeeding book and the more I read it the more I don't know if I really want to...then I got to the pumping part...the more I feel like this could work!... my plan is to breast feed the first few weeks if able...and to pump too so I get my "supply" and then eventually just pump...I didn't like the idea of only me feeding the baby..I want its siblings and Daddy be able to feed the peanut....so hopefully it all works out.

So fair fair fair... treat me well..don't be too tough. or hot and sweaty..I'd rather wear long sleeves then sweat.... please keep my kids semi good or the best that they are able to be ! lol.... I'm gonna miss riding rides this year with my Sondra...I want to plan a trip to kings island or cedar point next summer!...

Also Also! Our house in Lafayette is on the market! if you are interested in seeing it talk to our Realtor:
http://www.realliving.com/Bruce.Binkley/homes-for-sale/OH/Lafayette/45854/124-High-St-98124358

Whelp I must be going! Love you all!

here is another pic I found in my desk at work? I know? but this is me as a newborn..like just a few days old my Mom took me to our family reunion theme was of course Indians :)  

Bottle Feeding already/MegPieLove/Pumpin/weekendPlans

So its Friday..thank you Friday for being Friday..I needed you! ....

Last night was a adventure.... my hubby and brother and SIL ...nephew Colt..and Jake graciously took the kids went off to pick up 6 bottle calves for us to start feeding and raise for beef... I don't think I have ever felt richer than when we filled our freezer up last August with Beef...Pork...chicken...lamb....well..its less than half full and we have a piggy that will be butchered on 9/11..the irony I know...and we have a few lambs that will be getting butchered too..I've found out..Lamb isn't too bad when its cooked right...no ground though..NO!...and now feeding out a calves... its just so nice to have the meat out there and cuts your grocery bill down plus.. its not as expensive either..and its a slow expense...

BUT ANYWAYS... they set out to pick the calves up....I was at my parents childless odd I know...and so Jess got her keys to her house and I was excited to go see it.... I'm a horrible aunt to by the way.... as me and Syd are hanging on the couch she falls and gets a little goose egg on her forehead....then when we are outside in front of her new house she is walking around and falls down in the drive way and gets a sizable goose egg in the middle of her forehead... I then took her straight to her car seat and said you are staying here till its time to go..My Mom joking sang to her..."somebody is ready for bed, Somebody bumped her Head"...and I added..."Somebody's gonna have to wake you up every 2 hours b.c. of a concussion".... one good thing... Syd didn't hold it against me..she still loves me... I'm going to really miss her when she isn't back at my parents to steal... but I went home around 8ish 9ish? ....end up sitting down on couch fell asleep till Jake & kids got back at 11....lol... got a little nap to be ready to feed the babies and and instead of 6 he brought back 7 calves

But this time we got bottle calves..last night as we fed I thought...this sucks...waking up at 530 to feed snot nosed silly cows...I thought this sucks... I'll probably feel this way over the next few weeks... until we don't have to bottle feed..its kind of funny the zoo we have at our home..but hey... when we are enjoying home grown steak and hamburger roast and whatnot... it all pays off...

Another PLUS PLUS PLUS....I'm still in disbelief actually.. Sondra went over to my cousin Megan's(usually refer her as Megpie) house to play with her daughter for the day and she ended up sending me home with some maternity clothes and also she told me I could have her car-seat/stroller and pack and play when the baby is born..her Ryker should be done by the time baby comes... seriously... that is a huge relief...I can't believe it.. I've been stressing about that....and it was a answered prayer...she is a angel and so generous..I'll always be her girl..kinda like Taty butt was my side kick..I was hers..and how Sondra is Taty's...its a never ending process..I really wish MegPie lived closer..I make trips over there but still I wish she could babysit the baby in march... :(...

TMI TMI TMI TMI TMI
Here is another: after work today I'm going to go pick up a breast pump.... now breastfeeding is something I never gave a try because I really didn't have to..but this time around...I need to give my best effort and try to breastfeed for financial reasons... I'm not going to exclusively breastfeed..I'll probably mostly in the beginning but once I get my "supply"..I'd like to pump... I'll be honest... maybe its a immature thing..but I don't "fancy" a kid hanging off my tit... I just..doesn't sound like my kind of thing...but you know its free...its natural...and I'm going to try...everyone that i have talked to that has tried has said they wished they would have "tried" longer or stuck with it...so why not lets try people!.... so I found a pump at a reasonable price... and I'm going to give it a try..

So tonight we have some Nungester Cousins coming over to help feed the calves..so it shall be fun..I'm going to run home...clean up the kitchen bathroom and living room as much as possible!!! oh well the life of Joie..cleaning just isn't in my repertoire...but it will be this weekend on Saturday... on Monday we have a appraiser coming to the house..   so I gotta kick it in high gear...

breath of fresh Air!

so I haven't been all stalking this Royal Baby crap but I was pleasantly surprised to see the Mom one day after delivery and she was all natural and didn't hide the post baby belly... ALL first time moms should see an actual post baby belly. Or really every person should know and be educated in that matter. I can not tell you how embarrassed I was when I was asked a day or 2 after having Sondra a male asked me if I had another one in there...... how my brittle confidence just broke even more that moment.... :)

I know this is silly but thank you Kate Middleton...:) I'm done!

BABY on BOARD- Seriously Sondra- ForReal!

So- lets start from the beginning...

A few months ago Jake tells me he would like to look into adoption to see if its a viable option for our next baby and if that doesn't work out- then he would like to start trying for our next baby....hmm... I happy to look into adoption because I knew it would take a good year or more... we started researching options... a adoption agency first because I want a baby- I don't want my little man/girl to remember another family...I want them to remember us..not that I wouldn't tell them where they came from but I never want to compete for the role of Mommy... I think it would hurt..... so after going down that road and sadly realizing that going through a agency wasn't a viable option this time around... Jake asked maybe we should adopt through the county....after talking with a family friend about adopting her son through a county- it gave me mixed emotions. Nothing that she did or said anything wrong..I just didn't like the likely outcome.... I then the following week called our Allen County Agency and got... less then stellar news...a great thing about adopting through them is the fact that its pretty much free....then your child gets health insurance till they turn 18...wow..this sounds good...but the woman tells me that its VERY VERY unlikely that we would be able to get a child under 3 years old... that 1 their main goal is to reunite the child with its biological parents(which I feel they give them TOO many chances- trust me I have lived it and I can say that) and after that doesn't work- then usually the foster parent adopts them...hence why I should become a foster parent...lol..I told her that I grew up in a foster family my family did it for years and that I wouldn't get in that mess if you paid me millions.... I know she badly wanted to ask me who my parents were but I never said... you see... foster care is supposed to help kids... but a lot of times they let kids slip through the cracks...and a lot of it is about Money....I feel that Allen County children services is crooked all the way up to the top...if you knew some of the things they done to my parents and said about my parents...there would be a revolt...and if they did those things to my parents...I can't imagine what they have done to others...you see- the "family" I have made with a lot of my foster sisters or brothers is priceless...I learned a lot from being apart of a foster family...but I'm not sure I could take that kind of abuse from that agency and the only reason I can say it is because my parents are not longer foster parents... sorry for the side story there/....BUT then at a graduation party we talked to another foster family that we have known for a while and still...We had the realization that maybe adoption wasn't going to be the option this time around....

so that was it...we were going to try the old fashioned way :)....now if you know the history....it took us a while for Stuart...I seriously thought something was wrong with me...my Doctor ended up putting me on medication to conceive.... so I had some anxiety...we decided we wouldn't tell anybody...so I didn't feel the pressure... while we were talking about "what we were gonna do"... to trying we walked into a opportunity to maybe welcoming 3 kids into our home...3 kids that we knew...3 kids I felt like I had let down...so...a 6 year old, 5 year old, 3? year old....aw man...I prayed for it to work out...I posted prayer requests on my boards asking for people to pray that God would make a way..for God's will...I didn't know this..but Jake called our Pastor and told him the whole situation of currently trying...and then these 3 kids...and he had him praying for one or the other but it had to happen so we knew...well...from May 31st from when it started....to about June 13th...it was evident that it probably wasn't going to work out... the mother fell of the face of the earth once again when it wasn't looking like it would work out so now every few weeks I try to message her to see how she is....so as you can imagine...while in my car to and from places I cried...I cried because I was so sure this time around I would be the "WWJD" thing and step up... I fantasized about the kids sharing bedrooms and school drop offs..and the fact that I wouldn't "need" to adopt kids if I could just change these kid's lives give them a stable Christ centered home...get them out of a cycle that I have watched for the past 12 years  to their family....but even now being pregnant without even blinking...I would still take those kids...when I messaged her telling her I was pregnant I said I want to be clear if the kids needed a home ever- they would be welcomed to come live with us...

So while "recovering" from the "miscarriage" of my dream of a blended family I threw myself into "trying to have a baby" thing...not what you are thinking..but I down loaded this app that I put in my last monthly visitor and then it spit out my most fertile days... and then I read about increasing your chances to get pregnant and all that...and after reading all that..a lot of it deals with "timing"...was that all there was to Stuart...bad timing??/....I changed Gynos and they were concerned why my previous Doc would put me on a certain medication to conceive and after blood tests and such they said I really didn't need to be on it...that it probably caused me more discomfort... anyways... the week before my impeding period I just started having all these strange dreams... I mean weird vivid dreams... then I was waking up in the middle of the night...and inside I just thought...I can't be??? You know when you are just waiting on that disappoint of a negative test?...I know you are out there...Its just failure...I was expecting that feeling this time around..and was preparing for it..I was...I just knew  it...I think that is why I was somewhat reluctant to try the "old fashioned way"... because I didn't want to cry each month and feel like a failure... but on the other hand I wouldn't deny my spouse his desire to have another baby...b.c. there will come a time where Jake will think he is "too old"..and this mamma will want a another baby to rock lol.... bahaha..so... I'm open to kids...and he even asked..after I said okay lets try...and he asks: "well do you think your ready"...and I said: I'll be ready by the time the baby gets here(little did I know it was going to be a lot sooner)..... but anyways... leading up to that weekend that I knew I could test I just was a bit "giddy" like maybe I am??.... and then I tested That Saturday..and there was a very faint line...I didn't believe I was pregnant..like...damn it..I should have bought the name brand test and not this cheap 88 cent test...my gosh this will tell me if I'm going to have a baby...why didn't I spend a few bucks lol...how cheap am I???... so I had a second cheap test and decided..I would try Sunday after Church..... well... I did..and I couldn't believe it... my gosh... TMI WARNING!!!!!.... my goodness we did the deed 4 times in that special week and  the baby will be here in end of FEB/beginning March.... I guess I better get ready!...

I ended up giving Jake a pack of baseball binkys and he gave me this weird look and says "Your Pregnant???"..all surprised......

telling our kids on vacation was priceless... Stuart didn't care...he didn't really get it...but Sondra goes.."seriously? are you for real??? I want it to be a girl"...On our way home from myrtle beach I ask Stuart do you want a sister or brother?..his dead pan reply: "No thanks"....ohhh great...lol..
Sondra has made so many little comments..like she is saving her money for baby clothes...or how she will do everything for the baby...and seeing her step up her game around her little cousins I see I'm going to be very thankful for the spacing between my kids...I'm going to have a wonderful little helper....

I got for my first ultrasound Monday...I told them I needed one b.c. I needed to know that it was only ONE...it freaks me out...it freaked me out when I was expecting Stu before our first ultrasound...if I had twins with Sondra that would have been okay I wouldn't have known any better..but with Stu I thought oh no I can't have 2 Sondras...and then with this one... oh my gosh...I couldn't handle 2 Stuarts...trust me..he is a good candidate for "The Problem Child" movie...

now its deciding between names and the anticipation for the 20 week ultrasound....and looking for a stroller/car seat...play pen... and clothes...happy, happy, happy!


I do not even have enough time to explain to you how good God is. I am so excited for this baby to be born..I am.. and so I'll forewarn you I am sorry for my excitement and just ignore my posts... I know there are women out there who struggle with conceiving or carrying a baby and miscarriages...and I am sorry that this blog may bring sadness for you...but I can not hide my joy or my thankfulness...but know that struggling to get pregnant for 1 plus years isn't a big deal to some..but it was to me..so I know some of that pain and that is why I am so excited..please...don't write me off...

Oops I did it again :)

SO...I did it again... I was going to let me hair grow out..but I'm blaming this on my sister in law Rachel..she got her haircut off to donate..but she looks so "refreshed"..and it made me think about how nice it feels..so I checked with my Cousin Megpie to see her plans if she had time..and sure enough... yes!... I really like it...Stuart got his hair cut for his pictures today...and after I got mine Sondra says I want mine cut like yours Mommy...UMMM No!.. your hair is too pretty to cut!~..... I don't hold on to my hair... like how people are attached.....but Sondra's...its a pain..but its so pretty! :) ..., Jake only knew I was getting it  cut he doesn't like it when I cut it... Meg's exact words were::...Jake's gonna be mad at me!..but I won't see him for a while so its okay!!...LOL... and Jake's response... Well It isn't nearly as bad as last time lol.... Meg..I think its shorter than last time!.. lol :)...also I'll be to blame for my sister's and maybe even my best friend's hair cut...I told them to blame Rachel!..... anyways...there you have it... wanted to share :)

Got Home Last night and played with my hair 

this is will be different 

This morning when I got into work... 

didn't brush it... lol my kind of style just ran my fingers through this morning !

I'll post another pic in a few weeks to let you know if I'll keep this up