Mystery unto Bella

So with the weather cooling down I miss my horse Mystery probably the most since she has been gone. I have always felt akward still do..I'm an akward person but when I am with Mystery or was riding Mystery it was right. I didn't think about it. I can't explain it...Having your own horse that you truly put in that work and spend hours, days, years with ---then you would understand... Horses are unlike any other creatures and My Mystery...she was one of those one and a millon horses... she gave me so much confidence as a rider...and handicapped me just the simple fact that I'm not comfortable on other horses...I can not tell you the last time I have rode another horse... its been years.when you ride a horse your putting your life into their hands hoofs :)..horses aren't machines that do things on command..and to be so comfortable and don't think about it..that is trust.and that is what I had with her.. Mystery died May 21, 2010...one month b4 Stuart was born. It always seemed like she always got hurt on special days. And when it happened it was like an out of body experice. Like this sounds bad but when people told me how badly they felt or felt sorry when she died to me I felt some resentmeant when they weren't horse people-I don't know. Like I thought how do they even know how it feels to lose her. I'm still processing it and still have moments that I just get overwhelmed with the fact that she isn't out there in the pasture. And my cousin has a horse that looks a lot like her when she was younger and it kind just takes my breath away when I look out real quick and think there she is..and then go wait thats Takota... Mystery will always have a place in my heart...
I'm trying to do my best though... I'm really trying to work with my new baby Bella- its almost like I'm cheating on Mystery...Bella is real lovely.. hard to catch but once we get her on a lead she is good...she hasn't really made up to me yet..she is going to be harder to then Mystery was...but she is my project and goal... I need to prove to myself that I do have what it takes...I have got the knowledge but got to put in the work...