Wednesday, February 3, 2016

SKYLA and SONDRA TIME

hello all! .... 

I cannot believe I'm half way through this pregnancy.  With all the kids I felt like I waited and waited for the halfway point..waiting for my 20 week ultrasound and finding out what the baby was... and then its like oh my gosh we are half way there....Jeeze!... well its old news but yes! We had our 20 week ultrasound...going into this pregnancy I'd be lying that I was wanting a boy. With Sondra it had to be a girl like mind over matter SHE was going to be a girl...seriously... with Stu I just knew.  Shania..I really didn't know either way my pregnancy with her was like both the kids... inside I wanted a girl for Sondra because she wanted a sister so naturally this time around inside I did want a boy. Sondra and Stu both wanted a boy. I reminded and reminded them that it was already decided what this baby was and God was giving us what we needed. I reminded Stu that plenty of people and friends he had only had sisters. So going into the ultrasound I was super nervous for Stu. I didn't want to disappoint him. Jake from the beginning said he felt like it was a girl. So it was no surprise to him! But thankfully she was cooperative and we found out it was a she. Wow!... We get in the truck and I'm looking at the ultrasound and Wow... 3 girls Jake...3 girls and Stu.. LOL... I had Jake stop at MelloCreme donuts because I really wanted a peanut butter filled stick and thought it might soften the blow for the kids. "eat your feelings kids"... but yeah..The kids sprayed silly string telling them what the baby was. Sondra starts screaming! lol.. Stuart his usual response to a girl...its a girl and hangs his head down..but thankfully quickly recovers and says well I don't have to share my room with her!!! Pointing at Sondra... SO that made it all better...Stuart still tells me time to time that its a boy..but I remind him NO I have pictures its a girl!... 

Then the next hard part... we could not decide on a name... like we had 2 names going in but once its like final or real you start to question them... They were Schuyler and Shawn... I liked them but the more I thought about it... They were so boyish...my first 2 girls have such feminine names.. would I really give my 3rd girl a boy name? another thing my 1st boyfriend was named Skyler... I'm sorry... that is just strange lol... so back and forth we went around and around..then one Sunday we made a note on Jake's phone... we put down all the names... we decided each day we would take one off... we got to about half way through the week and I asked Jake which name he was taking off that day and his reply was something to Skyla Rachel Clum - I think it's a meet in the middle. and there was some back and forth lol as usual.. and I said Okay then I guess she is named! .. lol.. Skyla was off a list of names me and Jess was going through one night we were hanging at her house. Once I looked up the meeting it means Scholar which so does Schuyler which then I read further was a Feminine variant. :) So sincerely Skyla was a perfect pick. My only take back was it "too different" in people's opinion I had that thought about Shania's name. But then you get to that point of its my child..I'm carrying the thing..I made it...so its none of your business. :) Only thing that matters is that me and Jake and the kids love it. of course Rachel is from my Sister in law. Leading up to the ultrasound I told Jake..."I think I want to use Rachel for a middle name if its a girl...well I know I want too"... so going into it at least we knew that :) .. 

On to much sadder things... I've heard of Sondra for the first time being "bullied"... like legit... she seemed a little off yesterday..but I was just assuming the whole..I'm a girl and I'm moody sometimes... then I seen a friend's status on Facebook that her daughter had a terrible time at school because she was picked on... I say Sondra... what happened today at school with said girl..you weren't being mean were you?.. (I don't really believe she would be but she is a kid its bound to happen but we are intentional at home how we treat people and differences ect ect but I'm not a fool and think my child is God's greatest gift :) ) She says no mom they were making fun of me and her laughing at us ect ect.... I said are you serious Sondra??? Did you tell the teacher??? and she said yea and the teacher said "ok lets not do that"...... so that is where I'm upset. Sondra and friend was straight legit bullied taunted like the kids surrounded them pointing their fingers laughing at them and that was the response. I never wanted to be that parent..but yeah... I emailed the teacher. I explained it bothered me that Sondra didn't think the kids were reprimanded for bullying them. Her teacher's reply this morning was she didn't even know they were making fun of Sondra too. (Sondra says when it happened teacher was out in hallway) Her teacher said that 2nd graders are mean one minute but friends the next. That if it occurred daily then that is considered bullying and a form would be filled out here at school.  And that to let me know it would be taken care of at school today. .... here is my issue with this... 1. you are made aware by a student kids were being "mean". You don't question further what was happening or who it involved? 2. Call it what it is. Even if it doesn't happen daily... they were bullied! (1 of 3 kids has already been in trouble for calling names Sondra said this past weekend) 3. Taken care of today?... I wonder what that involves....I don't think it needs to be something big...but something needs done or when I read my friends status and thought if Sondra has anything to do with this..she is writing those girls a letter about how sorry she was and how rude she was acting.... that is just me though... Students need to know when it is brought to their teacher's attention it will be taken care. I wonder why Sondra didn't tell me about it when she got home first thing... is it because Teacher didn't make a big deal about it so why should she??? I don't know. Just off-putting to realize it starts in 2nd grade... and like a good parent I'm giving the teacher the benefit of the doubt and believing it is being taken care today.  

I hope Sondra doesn't remember this like its not a big deal.. I remember when we first got into foster care and we started getting black kids and getting older ones around my age and they started school... I had never been around black people before but I was ignorant to the fact of racism ect ect. but I remember being called a "nigger lover" and not to eat after me because some of my friends were sharing a snack... obviously it was learned at home but still.. it was the first time I really even heard the word..but the first time I felt less than... that has always stuck with me so I hope Sondra just dusts this off her shoulders and moves on...I know its not the same being made fun of looks vs my situation..but still...its that first time in your life you really feel like you are the issue..its you..your different..in a bad way... 

which ultimately call it cheesy... I'm glad I have a bunch of kids. Because despite my failings and shortcomings of growing up and disappointing my parents because I was raised better... I get to do my best with my kiddos and instill the Strong and Kind attitude. That is what I call it..I messaged the other Mother and at the end I put Strong Kind Mommas Unite!.... Truly I want kind kids. 

Well that is all the belly hollering I'm going to do today! ...  until next time
Love, 
Me 

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