Nothing in Particular...I'll have more tomorrow probably

Where have I been since last I wrote...a lot of places...
Friday was so nice... Red Lobster was delicious. I wish I could go again! lol... The game was fun too... got to hold little Ainsley when we visited the Spencerville side.... Mustangs lost too..which is a common theme these days which these times shall pass...these next few years are going to be tough..but I think AE Football can handle it..
I don't know what gotten into me but I actually put on some make up..real time make up..like liquid eye liner and all.. see that sexy eye ;)

My Sexy Eye Make up..I sent a pic to my friend b.c. I knew she would be proud :) 

Which here is such a funny..Lace sent me this picture and puts I think this explains our friendship...

I could not agree more.. ..even her own husband seen it said that it reminded him of me and her...lol that is the depth to our long friendship. She came over Friday night..and ended up staying till the wee hours of Saturday morning... hmm..like it was close 3am when she walked out my door... lol... we hadn't really sat down and "talked" in a long while..and so it was nice to reconnect instead of  pointless small talk... which..after it all was said and done..I realized when I laid in bed..that Lace had been there for hours and I didn't even think to ask her to tweeze my eyebrows...fail.... how could I not of asked her... the eyebrows will just have to suffer till she is home again.

So at fair time my Mom let me pick out colors for a blanket she was making me... at first she didn't like the teal I picked with pink and purple but she went ahead and made it anyway... well she finally go it done..I wanted one to fit my bed instead of using a comforter I am using this...and I love it :)...now I need to get my room painted!

 So Jake was gone the past 2 days on a fishing trip.. How fun huh? The 1st night home with the kids wasn't bad. I enjoyed my quiet time after the kids went to bed. but last night..when I was waiting on Jake to get home it seemed like hours...I was trying to keep the kids up to see Jake but it got too late and my nerves were near ending...so I reluctantly put them to bed... Jake finally got home with a a couple bags of fish that I'm pretty excited to fry up! hmm....so good. But it was so adorable.. Sondra woke up with morning that is very unusal she usually is dressed half asleep and carried to car..but she woke up and came to our bed and just perked up and cuddled with her Daddy! She was so excited to see him!

Last night Andrea came over with the kids and the kids played like wild animals.. screaming yelling running in our small little house... she brought over a whole bunch of clothes for Stuart which I'm eternally in debt of her and Joel. I don't know what I would have done without them. I know some people are above hand-me downs..but this lady isn't..and neither will her kids be.I went through them all last night and sorted them and boxed the ones that he can't wear at the moment and I am so excited! He is already cute..but the clothes are cute too which will look great on him!

so what are my plans for this weekend...I have not a clue...hopefully nothing lol... I really need to be better organized. I have my 1st women's fellowship meeting tonight which I hope there is a great turn out... we are making dessert and vanilla ice cream...me and Jess are hosting... :) Please give me courage..I can manage talking in front of people..but It still makes me nervous!..

Sondra last night after her friends left and it was getting closer and closer to bed comes out in the living room and puts down her "teacup" Piggy and says: Mom I'm ready to show my pig...this is what she was wearing:

Sondra in a Bra and skirt equiped with a backpack and a  golf club she ripped the end off for her "pig whipper' and a dog  collar &leash wrapped around her piggy..

 I just couldn't keep a straight face looking at her enthusiasm... lol she loves animals!

until next time dolls :)

Busy Busy Busy.. baby love at the end :)

Friday..oh beautiful Friday.. I have missed you all this week even if it has been a short week... its been a busy one!...
Tuesday was canning time..we started making Spaghetti sauce out of the tomato juice we made the other night. then Wednesday night we cut up more tomatoes and started cooking them down... I think next we are going to make vegetable soup or beef stew not sure which...we are thinking about making chili too and canning it. Either way..I'm happy.. I like this canning thing..we are waiting on tomatoes to be ready to pick...and if anybody has any extra tomatoes that you do not want..just let me know!... I'd be glad to come over and pick them and take them off your hands.
whelp tonight is the football game! I love football games..hopefully though it doesn't rain..b.c. I don't like football games and rain.. that's the worst combo...one really great thing is we are going to RED LOBSTER before the game b.c. its Endless shrimp~!... I seriously can't remember the last time I ate there... that's sad..I'm going to eat and eat some more..maybe till I burst... lol.. oh well..

and update on my phone..I still love it... there are certainly some quirks about it..but I keeping it! :)

I have a lot going through my head.. a lot I can't really share or really want too...isn't that the first time huh?
I will however ask for your prayers. I need prayer for my  future and the right opportunity to come my way. I very badly want to be able to get out from under our home. It is what will hold us back from expanding our family if we don't sell it. We have not even took the steps in selling it but we are moving in that direction. I'm just afraid like many families we will be stuck b.c. when we bought our house it was when nothing was in AE and prices were high and we had to pay high. Just pray! We aren't anywhere close to wanting to expand our family...but when the time does come..hopefully the house situation won't be a issue....

I for the 1st in my married life do not have real baby fever... like..I in general think I am a baby person. I love to hold smell hear babies... but for the first time in my life...I like doing a the above said things...and give the baby back. I'll say oh how cute..I want to keep em...but ultimately...when I get home and sit down and watch Stuart..and Sondra..I just think to myself..I'm not ready to love another as much as i love these 2. I absolutely want to have more kids..but right now I can't imagine loving one more just as much. I debate within my self If I am loving or paying too much attention to either of my kids at all times..imagine throwing another one in there.    

I went to a Lia Sophia party. You know I am not a big jewelry person. I like my diamonds...but I don't wear much more than that. I have a bracelet I wear from time to time.. but anyways... I won a necklace last night...and well I wore it today..its like my neck feels restrained lol..does that make sense.. I see my sis and sister in laws wear it..and think how cute it is..but its like I put something on and think...I must look ridiculous lol.. if Lia had a better price point..I'd been more apt to buying it...

Which talking about these home parties I am still on the edge of jumping into being a Thirty One Consultant... I'm just divided. I would love it. Make extra money... I really want to buy a nice camera..that would help me.  But it would also take me away from my kids..and put it on Jake to keep them when I would have a party to do... He is busy as hell... I don't think it would work out... hmm...shoot..I love this company. I could certainly see myself selling it. only if I didn't have to work for a living...

9/11 is coming up... it has lots of meaning for me..

Saturday is Jake's cousin's wedding. I love weddings..but can one be weddinged out... we have another wedding next week... then the class reunion the following weekend.. can't a girl just get a break!... I love doing nothing important all weekend...

Stuart Love= this morning it was just me and Stuart b.c. Sondra stayed the night with Jess and on the way to Melissa's... I would turn and look at him and he would just give me this big ole smile... :)... He already has such a loving heart. He gives kisses freely. (unlike his sister...which isn't a bad thing) and loves whole heartily already. Stuart is everything I had dreamed in a 2nd baby and little boy.

Sondra... lol.. oh my... Wednesday when we were at my parents canning... she is asking Alfred questions and she asks... "do you have a girlfriend"..."what is your girlfriend's name"... Alfred reply... "Noneya"...and Sondra not catching on says.."well I don't like her".. .lol.. I asked her when she came over why it mattered to her...and she tells me it doesn't matter but she don't like Alfred's girlfriends... lol... she is a jealous thing... She has done that with all the girls anybody has dated. Its a known fact Jordan's girlfriend Brittany would punch Sondra in the face.. lol well it was a fact according to Sondra... now Sondra is pretty partial to Brittany.

welp I gotta get going..gotta put my make up on and finish whatever needs finished here at work.. much love... I'll try to update later.. :)

Endless unfinished Confessions Late/Early in the morning

sssooo... its 3:53 in the morning... wow....when has it been the last time that I was up at this time and not taking care of a crying baby....hmm... can't recall..but I'm grinning sheepishly.

So this has been on my mind... I am finding hard to concentrate to someone when they get real "salty" about a person...like... I'm probably contradicting myself... I'll "explain"... people never stay the same..they change, the "evolve"... hopefully into something better... well these said people aren't the same..but sometimes I look at them and only see what they were... I would not be a very good God b.c. its hard for to think who I am today God has forgotten everything I did to get where I am. what changed me moved me... and made me realize..hey maybe doing that isn't such a good idea....maybe he is right... anyways to the point....everyone has a past they are not proud of..but I worry like people I see before I actually really grew up and I wonder if they think..oh ya thats Joie.. remember when she did...blah blah balh.. remember when she got in trouble and for blah blah balh...i don't think I was a horrendous kid..but also according to Jake I was a lot worse then him...but hey everyone can't be perfect lol..love you... ..and I wonder if they look at me with that same saltly attitude and can't see me now for who I am....I also have some people so fooled well not fooled but really just didn't go to school with me and are embarrassed to say PISS in front of me. lol....but also weirdly..I had someone in my church make a comment to me very harmless... oh you were a wild child..I heard about you..I was talking to someone about you the other day at work....1. How would my name come up in a conversation to begin with and 2. that very moment heat rose up to my neck and self doubt and guiltiness crept on me.... it makes you second guess forgiveness..I was young and very dumb...only difference now is I'm young/dumb/2 kids/a faithful husband.... I done things so irresponsible like "all kids do"..but man if my  own kids do some of the things I did..I'd rip them apart with my bear hands and wonder why my own parents didn't do that themselves...hey I was the baby..maybe they were just use to it..lol... hmm more unfinished thoughts...this could be a theme tonight

I have people in my life especially a best friend that I what maybe 4 1/2 5 years wouldn't have spat on her if she was dying of thirst in a desert...but some how in this funny life...we became best friends... hmm... lol...anyways...she really isn't what I am really talking about above- I'm saying that now b.c. a lot of people who aren't as close to me or haven't seen me in a while see me with her and get back with me later ..and go...wait??? I thought we use to hate her?? ....heh...shows how sad I was. Or really how immature I was... not that is was fully one person's fault to why we didn't get along in the beginning...but anyways I guess thats what happens when you grow up.

also... which how uncomfortable it is to admit... but why do people call themselves "uncles" and "aunts" to kids when they are not?and I know its light heart and with all my nephews and nieces I always feel this way every time anyone does it but also ... I think into my own situation. We do not do that with our own kids. They have great Aunts Uncles and Grand parents.... but also I am referred to a Aunt with 2 different families..like I just didn't look at the kids and say..I am your aunt Joie and that is what your supposed to call me... I look at it as- being in the situation... I feel honored that I am looked upon that way and they regard me in that way. Not that I don't feel that great admiration the other way around but I can see why and am very willing to step up b.c. maybe this is me here- the kid's blood aunts/uncles aren't exactly up to par... and each family is very different...like its a unspoken bond ..

like with Sondra.....she heard them (both families) refer to me as Aunt Joie and she caught on...so not wanting to confuse her I told her that's your "Fake Aunt/Uncle"...they could be your Aunt/Uncle as much time we spend with them and love to be with them..but they are not mommy or Daddy's brother and sister..that seems to work..... but on the other end... with my nephews and niece I see that..and I'm a bit jealous...lol.. how sad is that??.. but I got to remember that every situation isn't the same...I know within my family being a aunt/uncle is like a club ya know...being in that club you get to pick on..spoil....embarrass..be updated..cutest pictures you can display...and be "surrogate" parents to... so its kind of exclusive club..I guess this is just a proud Aunt Talking lol... :)... I don't even know where I am going with this really...its been on my mind..because I am not one way or the other..but in the middle..is this relevant with anyone at all really....or will you be asking someone if you read Joie's blog and how lame she is lol......
.really... I am very proud of my Nephews and Niece including surrogates and soon with Mel/Jonas have another one on the way...and before we know it Kayla will be next and Jess to become pregnant..and then I'm sure Rachel's kids will be close together...My goodness..its like I went from one to 3 and its just seems like its going to explode...and I know and am happy to report I am excited for each and every additional Niece and Nephew to come I'll have pictures to show off...also to note I am going to have complete green eyed wanting another baby myself with everyone have the babies...sadly.

.IDK..I'm not too sure when the 3rd one will be..we always said when Jake is 30 we are done..and then its me when I am thrity..and now after our birthdays...both of us having the same outlook like... we were supposed to be in a "different" place in our life at this point..but you know.. after feeling duped after hearing that from the Mr. and even me thinking the same thing...I have come to the point is...we are here and we will make the best of it...you can only live each day to the fullest...although financially we are not where we want to be...housewise we weren't supposed to be here after 5 years...and we were supposed to done having kids in 4 years.... I'm to the point that isn't going to happen..and the only thing you can plan on in life is Death & Taxes (courtesy of my Dad telling me that one day...idk why that stuck with me..he would probably be sad at that fact too) also while thinking and laughing to myself one more saying stuck in my head: "if all the ifs and buts were candies and nuts- Oh what a happy man I'd me or its oh what a happy Day that would be"....lol sorry Dad..maybe I should have paid more attention to the important life lessons in life...

I think I have been here there up down all night... I can't think straight... I have had so much in this brain about stuff... I think i just may be ADHD... this is all over the place...
also one funny ...Monday Night my Inlaws come over...to drop off Jake's Bday present..we are sitting and talking and they ask Sondra..Sondra what does Mommy want for her birthday?...and you can't deny my girl isn't looking out for me..."Mommy wants More jewelry" lol..oh I love that curly unruly child..  one good point though I have gotten her out of Fair Mode...beat it out of her really..but now camp out is this weekend..so she'll be back to running wild...and I will soon have to reign her back in come Monday Night.

another thing to think about...wait I got to stop I'm confusing you and its almost ten till 5... I'm gonna regret this one...for the time and for spilling everything out on the table... hate me love..I am who I am ( I hate that saying) but it is fitting for me...maybe...wee hours in the morning you become deathly honest and can't help it... that'll be my excuse if anyone shall ask about this post...

well I got to be going...still not one bit tired...maybe I'll watch Tv...I do however see a nap in my immediate future at camp out.. hopefully Stu and Sondra are easy on me tomorrow... Much Love...

ITS MY BDAY I'LL DO WHAT WANNA

Its my birthday and I'll do what I wanna... that's right..I wanted to go to work today! lol...nooott....but I never want to go to work but I have these two little things called Sondra & Stuart... lol...work isn't bad tho...set steady hours...work with my family..who I know will always try to work with me if there is a problem...retirement... whats there not to love...

so its my birthday.... man I wish I was little again... today..really isn't anything to me. I don't feel special... I feel like any other day..except this morning I will note...the 1st thing my husband did this morning when he woke up is: he told me happy birthday. MY birthday...hmm.. 24 years old. eeehhk... I don't feel that old. I know it isn't old but I don't even feel that age... I still feel like a kid and still wonder why these people or anybody thinks I'm allowed to have kids lol... I look at my kids and just wonder... I wonder if someday they'll tell their friends or own kids reasons why they are they way they are b.c. they had this crazy Mom.. lol.. they'll probably make me pay for their therapy lol... Sondra has grown up believing there are dog cops and that there is a rule that you are only allowed to have more than one dog or they dog cops will come get you and take both of them. lol I don't not even feel guilty about that b.c. I grew up believing if you ate the crust on your PB & J sandwiches your hair would go curly..I badly wanted curly hair...and this is what my Mom told me lol... also..another one that just may be true...I was probably idk 6 or 7 and asked my sister when I'd get boobs. She told me if I massaged them they would grow big.... lol... that is my favorite one..which my sis likes to rag on me about that one..but keep in mind she is 10 years older then me..so she had of been 16 or 17 when she told me that... so how cool were you huh lol... but I agree I know your mumbling ..but it was funny...and yes Jess I agree....

so what are my big plans for my birthday... a Mater Canning Party at my parent's house...man I feel special lol.

You will never beleive this..but we finally got some motivation to clean our house up..and last night we got it done...not a up and down completely clean but its manageable and worthy enough for someone to come in..little by little I'll pick a room at a time totally strip piece by piece and do what is necessary. so unexpected guests...you come right over... lol.... i hate unexpected guests...lol..so fair warning please send me a text or call before come over

Also..I never realized how many people have read this... I don't want to brag but I have had over 4,000 hits... that's probably really small compared to the real bloggers..but I always looked on my profile views and thought that was how many views on my blog which was 250 but then I stumbled across the "stats" tab and looked..OH my! I wonder who all you guys are. At fair a few people told me they read my little blog and to keep it up that it was quite entertaining and well I felt... well flattered.

I am so itching to cut my hair... like bad.. I don't know why all of a sudden again..long hair is sooo easy... but I think its getting excessively long lol.. does that make sense... like.. its really heavy... i love it..a friend well more a acquaintance at the fair asked if I had extentions in... lol really...then the next day a friend of a friend asked the same thing....i thought to myself..maybe that's the cue its time to cut it... Jake won't be too happy to read this..but Hun.. just think about it..I probably won't get the nerve to do it anyways...

also.. i don't know if this is shallow or not...but 68 plus people have wished me a happy birthday on face book :). Its a sweet feeling ...so I always try and make sure to wish everyone a happy birthday on there when I can...

So Stuart got his hair cut last sunday. It looks so funny..He has a little white stripe down the middle of his head from his mohawk...lol... but my Dad calls him Pumpkin head..and now well it looks really like a pumpkin head...its funny,,

also... so..this was so outta the blue...I really didn't plan on it..but I ended up getting a new phone..and I LOVE it.. so the last time I upgraded I originally wanted this phone..seriously I did my research but in the end at the time this phone had a data package and I just couldn't justify spending money on a data package when sit in front of a computer everyday and have access to it at home...but when I was looking through phones the other day...the simple ones..just entertaining myself..I seen my dream phone as a Feature Phone in other words the category should be "People that don't have the money to spend a arm and a leg for a fancy smanchey phone" (which if you have those fancy phones...I'm green eyed jealous of you and someday I will have me one! that day just isn't this year or next)...anyways..it was first sold as a smart phone..it's Microsoft's phone its a Kin Onem..it didn't go over too well they pulled them and now brought them back to probably recoup some money b.c. or IDK..but I don't care...its the perfect "non" Smart phone for me..I'm a big texter..I hate talking on the phone.. I hate to fill the gaps with aimless talking..but It has a 5 megapixel camera... touch screen...slide down keyboard... and best part is..wifi capable..so if there is wifi I can get on without a data package....and even better it has a music player which is basically a Zune..microsoft's "iPod"..so really I call this phone..Microsoft's version of the I phone..but a step down b.c. its really not a "smart phone".and just to protect myself I got the extended warranty if anything mechanically goes wrong with it in 2 years so I should be fine.... lol... anyways... Have I confused you enough for today??... lol

Well I gotta be going
I got to get my kiddies..and then get myself to the Canning Party!

Fair Wrap up! Please let it be a Ainsley! :)

So..for any "Small Town" Gal you can guess the County Fair..is like fashion week in NY or Paris for models... I look forward to the Allen County Fair..the people the food..the fun..the excitement in my kid's eyes... so great... call me small..but hey I'm happy... at least I can be described small I'll just try and forget that it the description isn't for my physical being.  :) anyways... when my Sister In Law Rachel said she was preggo and her due date was Aug. 22..I see gee Rachel I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it up to the hospital till after the last Saturday of the fair.---JOKING ... well this morning we received texts the ball is rolling and as I sit at work... I'm here dying..not to go to the fair..but I am dying to hear any new info on the unruly Massie Babe..and how soon its here b.c. I can't wait to get up there and hold that Bouncing Baby Girl (I hope still love a boy but I want a niece--i need a princess to spoil and send home)... and if Massie baby isn't a girl...Mel & Jonas..I'll be counting on you.. lol

Anyways.. with this new baby coming tonight or early morning... I think about my own aunts in my life that were like second mothers... and I think of my role in my NEPHEWS (hopefully that will change in the next coming hours) life's. Also thinking about it all... I always had certain expectations of my kid's aunts and uncles. They are have all met them..like I always expected them to treat them like their own..or be up for anything...be able to step in and decide and parent....but pretty much like how i grew up... my aunts were second mothers...and now I think of my sister in laws and not fully knowing what they exactly expect ...you never want to over step or not take a active enough role...but it makes you wonder... as far as Rachel..I know her Aunts and how great they are....I consider them my "Aunts" :)..so I have a pretty good idea what she is use to!... and just so we are all clear...I'm the favorite Aunt..Sorry Chris's sister and and Chris's future sister in laws and Zac's someday wife...I'm sorry...I'm just fun :)...that baby already had a favorite Aunt oneise before it was as big as a apple...lol..alright joking aside..no really... I'm the "Favorite Aunt Joie" lol...

Well I gotta be going..I gotta fantasize what my beautiful Neice or Nephew will look like the 1st time I see them :) And in the spirit of Aunt Mode..here are my Nephews :)

Colt Lee 6mo. - this was a typical sight..Colt & Jess lived at home when he was born...so that meant I got to see him and kidnap him any time I wanted. 

Jude Henry- a couple Hrs old! - I was pretty excited when he was born. I had not had a new nephew or niece  in 8 yrs! He is such a funny little Guy!

Fairing It UP:)

My Little Girl is a bonafide "Fair Rat". She loves the fair and the fair loves her back. Each day she wakes up in morning immediately asks if we are headed to the fair. No Baby you are going Mels while I go to work. Then I'll pick you up and then to the fair. :) We go to the fair and the search is on..Where's Cara?? Where's Cara? Sondra says... its her Buddy..BF... its cute... Now Stuart..like on vacay is spending a lot of time in his stroller...but when he is out he loves running wild but probably not the part where I am 2 steps behind him. It is funny though he is such a flirt. We will take a walk and he smiles at everyone..or waves when he is feeling really friendly...I'm going to have to lock him up when he is older... many comments this week from people saying how much of a happy boy he is. :)  

My Fair Rat Days :) on top of Buck in the horse barn~ 

Last Saturday was a really awesome day! Grandpa was the Grand Marshal in the parade. He asked Sondra to ride along with him in the carriage and Colt too. He called and said since the 1st Sondra isn't there to ride with him he was hoping Sondra Jr would join him! So the week leading up she was telling me she was the Fair Princess. She was playing Dress up Thursday night in her Belle gown and told me she was wearing that for the parade... so I talked her into wearing her flower girl dress from Jess's wedding...and she found her crown... so she was set! she did really good! She waved and all except at us!..She sat at the front of the carriage with Jeff (he was driving we are friends of the carriage co.). I was very proud of her!  

ME & Grandpa at the Allen County Fair the Year I broke my arm playing gymnastics on the cattle shoots... yes..I know.. I Couldn't make that up if I wanted to 

Its always so nice catching up with friends and people you don't see very often...not that you don't like them or anything its just people are busy and busy means you do what is necessary.


This week for me the fair has been good. Although I don't have a whole bunch of nice clothes to be excited to wear like you are when your in school and its fair week..I see the girls how "perfect" they look and I know they spent a while getting ready....these days..a while for me is 15 20 minutes...which really isn't a bad thing... I like being "put together"..but I'm ok with not being done up...


We have been debating about camping next year the only catch is I would need to work during the week and Jake would have to have kids during the day... that is the kicker... hmm.. its just a idea right now... maybe we will figure it out.. 

Stuart on a tractor! 

Stuart is confident! A fair friend helped him out with his accessories!

Sondra happy to be at the fair! 

Sondra insisted she wear her cowgirl boots and pink spurs with her shorts the 1st day of fair. 

Well I gotta be going!!!..I'll update again when I can! Love ME

SO Proud of him!