So Sondra tonight on the way home...we are singing rudolph the red nosed reindeer but using our own lyrics....Here is Sondra's first line..."Rudolph the red nose reindeer had a very nice daaaaad....then she stopped and I said... don't you have a really nice dad...and she says NO!..I said WHAT!? why not....her reply...well he is not nice to the wrestling boys...and I say huh? Why? and she says he yells at them and says bad words....so I slowed the car down to a stop and turn around and look at her very serious..I ask for some explanation. What did he say...and she goes into this big Well at wrestling practice when i went Daddy told the boys to now he was really mad and not happy... but He told the boys you better be quiet and SHUT UP!... lol.... whheeeww..I was afraid of what she was going to say. I don't know one way or the other..but I know colorful language is said but I hope Jake isn't a big contributor..but also...I never believe what comes out of my daughter's mouth most of the time... lol.... but in this case she was being truthful..b.c. Shut up..is a bad word. I'm always waiting for her next story. She has a imagination and a very dramatic way of explaining it too.
As you can see...its saturday night and I'm updating my blog... man oh man..I've been busy at work. Jordan has been there for 2 weeks a few days and it has been nice. I've been able to catch up a lot of things..and now when jordan starts coming everyday in December I'll be happy to get back on a regular schedule. It just seems weird on the days that he is there and I don't put in the daily bills. Once you do that for the past hmm..6 or 7 years it seems crazy or not right when you don't. I can't believe how long I have worked there. I started there right after Christmas my Jr. Year part time. Then the week or so after I got married I was officially "Full Time"...
So at work the guys found these 2 kittens in the plow truck...after a few days of not being able to find a home for them...I started entertaining the idea of bring one home. IDK why..I just..Sondra loves kittys..and its a easy pet..I felt so bad for the kittens...so I thought why not..I'll atleast try. Sondra's allergies haven't acted up. but of all pets...I can deal with cats the most.... this one is a bit young so I've kept the litter box feed stuff and everyhting in the living room... b.c. it won't leave the living room...Sondra has a crying fit almost everything time we leave the house after tellling her its not coming... But finally after much debate..we have came up a name for "her"...We really are not sure if its female or male... I thought male but a guy at work said thats a girl..so who knows..anyways... Jake wanted to name it buttercup ..ya I know so original...Sondra's first suggestion was "Rosepot".... lol...then we tried out flower... which...I wasn't thrilled but anything better than buttercup and rosepot...and then we went through the drive thru on our way to greenville and the lady that took our money...her nametag said "Winnie".... oh so perfect...so that is what the cat's name is.... Winnie....
Tonight was the last niht of thanksgivings....Thursday was Greenville and Lawrences. Which we really wanted to get to Greenville b.c. we are not sure if we would be able to get there for Christmas. I love spending time with the aunts and uncles. Sondra runs around with her cousin Anna...and Stuart you know Stuart...he was just running wild plain and simple. Anyways.. Today was Reffitts...and I love going there too... and when you walk out...you always have a story to tell lol....
This morning was the first wrestling preview. Its the scrimmage we have every year... it was at AE for some reason..I thought its always at spencerville but none the less...we actually got to sleep in.... I love wrestling but man or man..I don't love my kids when we are at wrestling lol..Sondra isn't so bad..but Stu..is going to be terrible...it was a lot easier with only one kid..throw another one in and its over! lol..but thank God I have a wonderful Mom In Law, Mom, and Sister who help out a lot of wrestling events or I'd never make it... but I'm hoping to find some people that would like to have Stu for the day or something sometime.. fingers crossed... it was odd though looking out on the mat and not seeing Austin... He has always been a big part of the wrestling team..He came to high school practices since he was a little guy... He has had great expectations on his shoulders b4 he even got in High school...but things change...I can accept that..and my Aunt reported today he was taking steps a long side a bar with help from his therapist. :) I'm so proud of him. I'm so thankful that he was able to go to Doods and to be apart of a physical therapy place that will do wonders for him.
what else?... hmm... I didn't go black friday shopping... I had to work the next day..but I don't even have money to go anyway....ohhh to top off my week.. My dryer decided not to work..which makes me just oh so happy...... man... its always something... Welp..I gotta be going.... I'll try to update next week on friday..no promises!
Love ME...
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
Puddle Dirty christmas AML Breakin Daw
I have had just one of those weeks! I felt like I just wanted to go in a black room and just melt into a puddle. At work I was super busy and found out Stuart had foot and mouth which is a contagious rash all over his body! and I had to find a sitter for atleast 2 days or I'd have to stay home with them and get even more behind on paperwork at the tank wash...and I just wanted to melt. I couldn't find a sitter and I did it..I just went into the bathroom and cried...oh pathetic! and then went back to my desk and Jess was calling and telling me she didn't have anything for the next 2 day except a docs a appointment and she would take the kids....ohhhh thank God for Sisters. So between my Sister and Mom the kids were covered. I could go to work and keep things caught up which before the soltuion came my boss uncle doug said after I told him I may have to be out for the next 2 days he says Joie family comes first. You need to take care of your family first...:)... I'm blessed to have a understanding work place. After work I went to my parents and heard the good news about Austin and his new accomplishments and that just made my day better!
So Stu..my dirty little Boy!...So friday, saturday I noticed little bumps around his mouth. and didn't think much of it...my kids have weird skin...it breaks out a lot with bumps or rashes and whatever so I just didn't worry. By saturday night changed him and realized he had more bumps! Gave him a bath..found more bumps!...eehh... what is going on..i went on a full bath kick..antibacterial soap baths and covering all his red bumps in triple antibiotic cream... Sunday still bumps..Monday My mom takes him to the doctor which Mom reported (he stayed the night w/her) he had even more bumps!..Doc said he had mouth and foot disease which you have to let it run its course. and gave him an antibiotic just in case any of it turned into impatagio! ..but Hand and foot is... something a lot of young kids get b.c. of all the germs they discover..and people w/out kids or ignorant people..or I'm too good for you people...call it a "dirty thing" to get..or only dirty kids get it..which isn't true...I like to think of it adventurous kids get it! lol.. either way I called him my dirty boy...and my Mom informed me that I shouldn't wonder where he picked it up b.c. when she had him over at my grandpa's house he came out sucking on a tennis ball that he had dipped in the toilet! lol..thats my boy...man Kids are such nasty little animals me and my cousin at work agreed on...and dogs are much easier to handle then kids...
I've decided for christmas I'm going to do "gift baskets" or something like that. from being addicted to Pinterest.com...I have found some really neat things to make. I have found some for everyone I need to get for and will add to them. I'm excited and got even more excited when I was texting with my sis in law Rach that she was doing the same thing focusing on handmade things..so I'm excited to get something from her...shes crafty!...
Tonight was a first tonight. Austin was moved to the 5th floor so Sondra would be able to visit if we wanted her too...which I've been in and out of how I thought what was right and not for her to see. On one hand I think she is too young to understand what has happened. Her version of Austin is this goofy cousin that loves her and when he is around her he gives her his attention... and I thought maybe she shouldn't see him. On my other hand Sondra is very smart and quizzical. She has asked about Austin. his condition and if he is ok? and that kind of stuff. My outlook on it for myself is..this is the new Austin. Things change and we must adjust. So knowing she was allowed to go see him I thought about it and realizing that Austin will be moving to Columbus soon she should see him now so it won't be such a long time before the next time. So with her insistence of not wanting to go..b.c. she wanted to stay at Grandma and pas house watching her shows we took her anyway... We got there in her play dress up shoes and seen him. I carried her in to his bedside and his eyes lit up and just stared at her. I wish I could know what he was thinking. But nonetheless I know he was glad to see her. And in fact my primary motive wasn't for Sondra to get to see Austin but the other way around. he may not remember seeing her but for those few minutes of staring at her and watching his eyes go crazy and his glance over her direction when he could hear her talking made me smile. He hadn't seen her in a month but I know he hadn't forgot her. bc before tonight whenever I would talk about the kids he always paid me attention. I like the bond that I have with my aunt and uncle..and always growing up I felt like their "girl"..and how Austin and Taylor(shes my original girl) I have had a close repertoire with..and now my kids have the connection with them. Its family... its value is immeasurable. Its honest. Its true...I'm very proud that I have that connection with many of my cousins and since grandma was fighting for her life and eventually dying... that realization of how valuable family is intensified. I'm very blessed to have the family that I do- both sides.
So lastnight I obliged and took my original girl Tatey-butt to see Breaking Dawn at midnight w/Jess, Mel, Kayla, and Sami in findlay! It was so fun!... we ate at cheddars and then headed to the movies...after making fun of many of the fanatics we finally got into the theater...and after refusing to sit in the front row of one of the theaters we got into a empty one and got the pick of the seats...I wasn't below throwing out we had a pregnant injured vet with us..lol thank goodness I didn't have too but i would have..and her injury..she broke her middle finger over seas and points to the right then straight. but still that is a injury and very viable to use. either way I didn't have too and we had a great time. one the way home i was debating to stay up all night or just go to bed. which then I remembered I had to make Mac and cheese for a funeral dinner at our church so that settled it. I was staying up. Well i chickened out...it was 430 getting closer to 5 and very tired..I decided I would change into my clothes for work for today and sleep a few hours. Miracously I woke up on time and made it to work. Not till I was looking at facebook and seen a post I put on there and it was dated 4 hours earlier did I fully realize how tired I really was. I somehow picked up a second wind and made it through and now my bed is calling to me...
tomorrow I have a Work day for our church Sunday school which we are cleaning the basement and then have a Thanksgiving/Christmas party that night. so once again I have a busy weekend... no slowing down... I wish I could retire now lol..I'd love to sleep in everyday and not be so "scheduled"...
so I must be going! and want to leave you with a saying I found today on Pinterest.com which really made me think what I would have if it were true!...
"What if you woke up today for only the things you thanked God for yesterday?"
Love,
Me
So Stu..my dirty little Boy!...So friday, saturday I noticed little bumps around his mouth. and didn't think much of it...my kids have weird skin...it breaks out a lot with bumps or rashes and whatever so I just didn't worry. By saturday night changed him and realized he had more bumps! Gave him a bath..found more bumps!...eehh... what is going on..i went on a full bath kick..antibacterial soap baths and covering all his red bumps in triple antibiotic cream... Sunday still bumps..Monday My mom takes him to the doctor which Mom reported (he stayed the night w/her) he had even more bumps!..Doc said he had mouth and foot disease which you have to let it run its course. and gave him an antibiotic just in case any of it turned into impatagio! ..but Hand and foot is... something a lot of young kids get b.c. of all the germs they discover..and people w/out kids or ignorant people..or I'm too good for you people...call it a "dirty thing" to get..or only dirty kids get it..which isn't true...I like to think of it adventurous kids get it! lol.. either way I called him my dirty boy...and my Mom informed me that I shouldn't wonder where he picked it up b.c. when she had him over at my grandpa's house he came out sucking on a tennis ball that he had dipped in the toilet! lol..thats my boy...man Kids are such nasty little animals me and my cousin at work agreed on...and dogs are much easier to handle then kids...
I've decided for christmas I'm going to do "gift baskets" or something like that. from being addicted to Pinterest.com...I have found some really neat things to make. I have found some for everyone I need to get for and will add to them. I'm excited and got even more excited when I was texting with my sis in law Rach that she was doing the same thing focusing on handmade things..so I'm excited to get something from her...shes crafty!...
Tonight was a first tonight. Austin was moved to the 5th floor so Sondra would be able to visit if we wanted her too...which I've been in and out of how I thought what was right and not for her to see. On one hand I think she is too young to understand what has happened. Her version of Austin is this goofy cousin that loves her and when he is around her he gives her his attention... and I thought maybe she shouldn't see him. On my other hand Sondra is very smart and quizzical. She has asked about Austin. his condition and if he is ok? and that kind of stuff. My outlook on it for myself is..this is the new Austin. Things change and we must adjust. So knowing she was allowed to go see him I thought about it and realizing that Austin will be moving to Columbus soon she should see him now so it won't be such a long time before the next time. So with her insistence of not wanting to go..b.c. she wanted to stay at Grandma and pas house watching her shows we took her anyway... We got there in her play dress up shoes and seen him. I carried her in to his bedside and his eyes lit up and just stared at her. I wish I could know what he was thinking. But nonetheless I know he was glad to see her. And in fact my primary motive wasn't for Sondra to get to see Austin but the other way around. he may not remember seeing her but for those few minutes of staring at her and watching his eyes go crazy and his glance over her direction when he could hear her talking made me smile. He hadn't seen her in a month but I know he hadn't forgot her. bc before tonight whenever I would talk about the kids he always paid me attention. I like the bond that I have with my aunt and uncle..and always growing up I felt like their "girl"..and how Austin and Taylor(shes my original girl) I have had a close repertoire with..and now my kids have the connection with them. Its family... its value is immeasurable. Its honest. Its true...I'm very proud that I have that connection with many of my cousins and since grandma was fighting for her life and eventually dying... that realization of how valuable family is intensified. I'm very blessed to have the family that I do- both sides.
So lastnight I obliged and took my original girl Tatey-butt to see Breaking Dawn at midnight w/Jess, Mel, Kayla, and Sami in findlay! It was so fun!... we ate at cheddars and then headed to the movies...after making fun of many of the fanatics we finally got into the theater...and after refusing to sit in the front row of one of the theaters we got into a empty one and got the pick of the seats...I wasn't below throwing out we had a pregnant injured vet with us..lol thank goodness I didn't have too but i would have..and her injury..she broke her middle finger over seas and points to the right then straight. but still that is a injury and very viable to use. either way I didn't have too and we had a great time. one the way home i was debating to stay up all night or just go to bed. which then I remembered I had to make Mac and cheese for a funeral dinner at our church so that settled it. I was staying up. Well i chickened out...it was 430 getting closer to 5 and very tired..I decided I would change into my clothes for work for today and sleep a few hours. Miracously I woke up on time and made it to work. Not till I was looking at facebook and seen a post I put on there and it was dated 4 hours earlier did I fully realize how tired I really was. I somehow picked up a second wind and made it through and now my bed is calling to me...
tomorrow I have a Work day for our church Sunday school which we are cleaning the basement and then have a Thanksgiving/Christmas party that night. so once again I have a busy weekend... no slowing down... I wish I could retire now lol..I'd love to sleep in everyday and not be so "scheduled"...
so I must be going! and want to leave you with a saying I found today on Pinterest.com which really made me think what I would have if it were true!...
"What if you woke up today for only the things you thanked God for yesterday?"
Love,
Me
Friday, November 11, 2011
Busy AustinLuv 5yearsJomel Vets :)
I can't beleive I almost didn't blog this week. Welp I've been a busy gal. Mostly at work but lo and behold I'm going to get help starting Tuesday which I'm happy/excited about.
Tonight we were at my parents talking about Austin and I said man I need to get up there this weekend...my mom offers I'll watch the kids why don't you go up!..me and Jake didn't need to be asked twice!...we left! Austin is looking good and doing great. We sat and talked to him. And when Jake talked Austin paid a attention. Its like whenever he said something Austin would give him full attention. When I mentioned Sondra his Eyes..and attention were like he wanted to know more. I bet or like to think he misses seeing her. Maybe wondering how in the heck did Joie make it up here without bringing Sondra? it was adorable and heart warming to witness. But when some High school girls came in...his attention was on them..staring at them...
I think he was showing off a bit and kept holding his squishy ball practicing holding it. Austin has a long road to go! I'm excited to hear that he will be transferring to Columbus to a special rehab to help him and they specialize in brain trauma patients.
Today is 11-11-11...My Brother and Sis in law Jonas and Melissa's 5 year anniversary. How exciting! I was pretty proud last July when Jake & I had ours. A family friend Jimmy Jones told me the first 5 years is some of the hardest. You get through those...your gold. I like to think we had a rough 1st five years. Its like you have to get use to eachother and figure out your pattern and just everything. And then throw a baby in there and then a few years later another one... yeah it has been a little rough- but absolutely worth it. There were times and still are that I look at Jake and think who are you?? what have you done with my "Mohawk man" lol.... we have grown matured and have changed so much! Its just dang ole
crazy!
and Veterans day is today. Its another proud day not myself but for all the people I am so proud of for serving our country and people to keep us free. Alot to day I think about Nathan Carse our neighbor and how he paid the ultimate price. I seen his face and that smile all day. He was a good man. And I'm proud of him too and his family for how strong they are.
Welp I best be going so this is it! Love you
Tonight we were at my parents talking about Austin and I said man I need to get up there this weekend...my mom offers I'll watch the kids why don't you go up!..me and Jake didn't need to be asked twice!...we left! Austin is looking good and doing great. We sat and talked to him. And when Jake talked Austin paid a attention. Its like whenever he said something Austin would give him full attention. When I mentioned Sondra his Eyes..and attention were like he wanted to know more. I bet or like to think he misses seeing her. Maybe wondering how in the heck did Joie make it up here without bringing Sondra? it was adorable and heart warming to witness. But when some High school girls came in...his attention was on them..staring at them...
I think he was showing off a bit and kept holding his squishy ball practicing holding it. Austin has a long road to go! I'm excited to hear that he will be transferring to Columbus to a special rehab to help him and they specialize in brain trauma patients.
Today is 11-11-11...My Brother and Sis in law Jonas and Melissa's 5 year anniversary. How exciting! I was pretty proud last July when Jake & I had ours. A family friend Jimmy Jones told me the first 5 years is some of the hardest. You get through those...your gold. I like to think we had a rough 1st five years. Its like you have to get use to eachother and figure out your pattern and just everything. And then throw a baby in there and then a few years later another one... yeah it has been a little rough- but absolutely worth it. There were times and still are that I look at Jake and think who are you?? what have you done with my "Mohawk man" lol.... we have grown matured and have changed so much! Its just dang ole
crazy!
and Veterans day is today. Its another proud day not myself but for all the people I am so proud of for serving our country and people to keep us free. Alot to day I think about Nathan Carse our neighbor and how he paid the ultimate price. I seen his face and that smile all day. He was a good man. And I'm proud of him too and his family for how strong they are.
Welp I best be going so this is it! Love you
Friday, November 4, 2011
Call them What they are AML Duggar Eggies
do you just ever have one of those weeks where you wonder which way is up? and which way is down? Work has been super busy trying to keep up Deb's stuff up or really just caught up so everything else can function. and I am very happy to do it b.c. if the roles were revesrsed she would do it and probably do a better job at it too. I never realized how much I love having a another female at work let alone your Aunt.
DISCLAIMER! this will PROBABLY MAKE JAKE BLUSH FOR MYSELF.... BUT I COULD CARE LESS..
Women ..you know when you wear those cute low waist-ed jeans.... and then grab your last clean pair of panties...and then get to work..and realize..those last clean pair of panties....are Granny Panties...lets just call them what they really are ... "Grown Women who have had babies and have not one person to impress since your married and there isn't no way they are getting away panties" lol.. that's what I refer to them as...lol... thongs here and there these days..but I like that whole coverage thing lately... lol anyways...I thought it was so funny...I took a picture and sent to family lol..that is my sick sense of humor... I would share the picture but you'd have to text me then maybe I'd send it...you know when its on the net its there forever..I think the net doesn't need to see that just yet..... lol
what else..hmm..as I was discussing earlier... being so busy and not knowing which way is up which way is down... I can positively say... My nerves have been on end lately with everything going on with Austin and everything else...and Michelle Duggar(who never raises her voice w/19 kids) would be disappointed in me with yelling/hollering/screaming at my kids....thinking about it... Wednesday night I was explaining to Jake the reason why our kids snap back and yell at us is b.c. we yell at them and how we should really try to talk in a calm voice and stay calm instead of getting riled up ...well with everything going on yesterday I just blew it and here I was the one doing the yelling and Jake trying to soften it all trying to take care of things!...I sincerely feel horrible about it.
Austin is doing good. He is stable but still fighting a fever. Please pray for him and his family, and all the doctors and nurses. This is a very trying time and recovery is a hard long road. Ever little prayer helps. I believe God is going to use Austin for far greater happenings that we cannot even begin to understand. There is no reason he should have survived that car wreck...except one... God wanted him alive.
Which leads me to something else... I'm a big believer in letting people know how you feel about them. Giving a person your truth is powerful. What scared me the most the night of Austin's accident I was almost sick to my stomach b.c. I couldn't remember exactly the last time I talked to Austin. It made me sad. Which when I really thought about it- I last talked to him on a Sunday when we had nursery and he passed through to use the restroom and started picking on Sondra... but anyways.. when my Grandma was dying cancer we had that time..that time to tell her goodbye..to really appreciate her. sure she did suffer...but part of me would rather die of cancer just to know that I was dying and about how much time I had left... and I could say goodbye... that's why I was so scared Austin wasn't going to make it that night..I was terrified that he would slip by without knowing or witnessing how much emotion he pulled out of my heart and my husband/kids hearts....how could I let such a special person who I have many great memories with growing up get by without really knowing I really did care and love him. Also...on another hand...isn't family's love kind of unspeakable. I look at all my family..sure we have our differences or aren't able to see each other as much as we use to...but I love them. and I'm not just talking about my siblings but I mean like Austin...my cousins that I have grown up with...that in trying times like these we come together.. reminisce... provide support...b.c. that is what family does. So can I rest easy and believe that Austin knows how much I love him. Or any of my family...if something were to happen to them and I'd never speak see them again..will they think that I loved them? I think and hope so. But I thank God that I don't have to have that unsettling thought of whether Austin knew or not...
Also on a another not... I have had such a hard time watching Sondra grow up before my eyes..it is just not right...she is growing up she is so beautiful. Just yesterday she was still a baby...but anyways..I have had a like a"Duh" moment ...lol..but Sondra is growing up like all normal or abnormal children do..its unpreventable... its the way of life...but since having Stuart.....it bearable to watch her get older...and I'm sure someday when Sondra and Stuart are breaking my heart getting older and more mature...another one will be softening the blow... I just love these kids....
AND on a much lighter lighter note I have the funniest story this week...
So everyone knows how I have this love for my cute little neat phone...well I was at my parents i think Monday night...and my dad brought home a surprise for my Mom from my Grandpa..he had bought those Eggies off of the TV b.c. he wanted some and also gave my Mom a set to..so she is so excited and getting them all ready....and my brother Jonas calls my phone and tells me he is taking the women in our family to olive garden for Vets day b.c. he gets so many guests for free or w./e. and so then he wants to talk to Mom b.c. he couldn't get a hold of her..so I give her my phone only to hear her scream a minute later b.c. as she was talking to Jonas she dropped my phone into the pot of the water we were using to boil the eggies.. lol... she felt horrible...lol..it was funny... So i am back to my old school phone blue one and I can't receive video or take it so don't even try to send lol... either way..I think I am going to start calling her Eggie! :)
Until Next Time
<3
Me
DISCLAIMER! this will PROBABLY MAKE JAKE BLUSH FOR MYSELF.... BUT I COULD CARE LESS..
Women ..you know when you wear those cute low waist-ed jeans.... and then grab your last clean pair of panties...and then get to work..and realize..those last clean pair of panties....are Granny Panties...lets just call them what they really are ... "Grown Women who have had babies and have not one person to impress since your married and there isn't no way they are getting away panties" lol.. that's what I refer to them as...lol... thongs here and there these days..but I like that whole coverage thing lately... lol anyways...I thought it was so funny...I took a picture and sent to family lol..that is my sick sense of humor... I would share the picture but you'd have to text me then maybe I'd send it...you know when its on the net its there forever..I think the net doesn't need to see that just yet..... lol
what else..hmm..as I was discussing earlier... being so busy and not knowing which way is up which way is down... I can positively say... My nerves have been on end lately with everything going on with Austin and everything else...and Michelle Duggar(who never raises her voice w/19 kids) would be disappointed in me with yelling/hollering/screaming at my kids....thinking about it... Wednesday night I was explaining to Jake the reason why our kids snap back and yell at us is b.c. we yell at them and how we should really try to talk in a calm voice and stay calm instead of getting riled up ...well with everything going on yesterday I just blew it and here I was the one doing the yelling and Jake trying to soften it all trying to take care of things!...I sincerely feel horrible about it.
Austin is doing good. He is stable but still fighting a fever. Please pray for him and his family, and all the doctors and nurses. This is a very trying time and recovery is a hard long road. Ever little prayer helps. I believe God is going to use Austin for far greater happenings that we cannot even begin to understand. There is no reason he should have survived that car wreck...except one... God wanted him alive.
Which leads me to something else... I'm a big believer in letting people know how you feel about them. Giving a person your truth is powerful. What scared me the most the night of Austin's accident I was almost sick to my stomach b.c. I couldn't remember exactly the last time I talked to Austin. It made me sad. Which when I really thought about it- I last talked to him on a Sunday when we had nursery and he passed through to use the restroom and started picking on Sondra... but anyways.. when my Grandma was dying cancer we had that time..that time to tell her goodbye..to really appreciate her. sure she did suffer...but part of me would rather die of cancer just to know that I was dying and about how much time I had left... and I could say goodbye... that's why I was so scared Austin wasn't going to make it that night..I was terrified that he would slip by without knowing or witnessing how much emotion he pulled out of my heart and my husband/kids hearts....how could I let such a special person who I have many great memories with growing up get by without really knowing I really did care and love him. Also...on another hand...isn't family's love kind of unspeakable. I look at all my family..sure we have our differences or aren't able to see each other as much as we use to...but I love them. and I'm not just talking about my siblings but I mean like Austin...my cousins that I have grown up with...that in trying times like these we come together.. reminisce... provide support...b.c. that is what family does. So can I rest easy and believe that Austin knows how much I love him. Or any of my family...if something were to happen to them and I'd never speak see them again..will they think that I loved them? I think and hope so. But I thank God that I don't have to have that unsettling thought of whether Austin knew or not...
Also on a another not... I have had such a hard time watching Sondra grow up before my eyes..it is just not right...she is growing up she is so beautiful. Just yesterday she was still a baby...but anyways..I have had a like a"Duh" moment ...lol..but Sondra is growing up like all normal or abnormal children do..its unpreventable... its the way of life...but since having Stuart.....it bearable to watch her get older...and I'm sure someday when Sondra and Stuart are breaking my heart getting older and more mature...another one will be softening the blow... I just love these kids....
AND on a much lighter lighter note I have the funniest story this week...
So everyone knows how I have this love for my cute little neat phone...well I was at my parents i think Monday night...and my dad brought home a surprise for my Mom from my Grandpa..he had bought those Eggies off of the TV b.c. he wanted some and also gave my Mom a set to..so she is so excited and getting them all ready....and my brother Jonas calls my phone and tells me he is taking the women in our family to olive garden for Vets day b.c. he gets so many guests for free or w./e. and so then he wants to talk to Mom b.c. he couldn't get a hold of her..so I give her my phone only to hear her scream a minute later b.c. as she was talking to Jonas she dropped my phone into the pot of the water we were using to boil the eggies.. lol... she felt horrible...lol..it was funny... So i am back to my old school phone blue one and I can't receive video or take it so don't even try to send lol... either way..I think I am going to start calling her Eggie! :)
Until Next Time
<3
Me
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)