Its my Friday!!!! Ready or not Weekend here I come :)

its my Friday today! I'm so happy I do not have to come in Friday! I'm going to wake up and head over to my friend's parent's house for breakfast and for waxing upper lip & tweezing my eyebrows...a great way to wake up and start my day...I'll surely cry... and for the women that have never waxed your upper lip..you should...its worth it in the end. so smooth so smooth. Sondra has already asked Lace to tweeze her eyebrows..lol..lets hope Sondra  & Stuart are spared the dreaded Reffitt Eyebrow..when I look at myself in the mirror that is where my eyes go to first... lol
Jake for the 2ND night in the row has deserted me b.c. he has a wrestling thing going on..so tonight I'm stopping at our friend's house and Sondra will get to play with her best friend Cara:)...then depending on what time Jake is back- I need to run to Walmart for food and other stuff that I can not put off buying anymore!... I've been going to run to town all week..but I just hate going with 2 kids!!.. taking one isn't bad..but 2...I'm ready to blow!... so hopefully Jake gets home earlier than last night..and I can go by myself..or maybe Take Stu :)
Me the kids and Lace went out to dinner last night which was nice.. then we went looking for snow boots for Sondra..which stunk. You would think if you would go to Pay less Shoes they would have snow boots...you know ...their specialty is shoes..lol..but no of course not. So I thought lets run into K mart...just because they are a bit slower than Walmart..won't have to fight a crowd...no snow boots there either..so to satisfy Sondra we went toy shopping and she bought a new doll with a outfit..a Grandma doll/Brother doll combo..and then low and behold..I seen this really cute play pizza kit on sale and convinced her she needed it for her kitchen..I wanted to get her "nice" play food this year...so thats a good start...when we got back to my house...she made me and Lace pizza..so nice...then when it was time for her bedtime..she morphed into this scary monster..that had to be carried to bed... lol then it was just us and Jake sitting around...huh..just like the good ole days...but we were playing with my chubby Stuart...
I'm so tempted to go to Marion Harding finals..but I got so much to do...I love and get into wrestling..i complain about sitting all day or being cooped up all day..but its fun to watch and see the guys do good! It makes me excited and wonder what my kids might do in high school someday. Maybe they'll play sports or maybe not. I hope for Sondra to play basketball. She is going to be tall I bet and I like to watch basketball. I wonder what Stuart will do too. Don't count your marbles. His Daddy might be a wrestling coach but that doesn't mean he will wrestle. It would probably break Jake's heart though. Jake's view on it is- if he is around it growing up he will know no better and he will want to do that. So for Jake's sake hopefully that is how it works. I'm on of those ones that I don't mind either way. It wasn't always that way though. She has always liked it but especially this year Sondra took a liking to Cheerleading.. you all know I'm not that type so I was highly discouraged.(but I do note most of my best friends in school were cheerleaders lol I know) .lol..but hey every little girl likes that and if someday I gotta go to hour a way games just to watch my girl cheer...then so be it... Grandma told me one of the days my Sondra was pretending to cheer for us in her living room that someone had to be a cheerleader in the family b.c. she was one in school....the logic there...I'm still trying to understand....So...I played basketball all through school till Jr. High...but in High school I didn't play... I kind of got to the point of I was sick of it.. I sometimes look back and wish I stuck with it..but on the other hand I had a point of this isn't me. It kind of defined me and I didn't like that. I didn't like all the "clickiness" that came with it either...in the long run I am happy I didn't stick with it & also happy my parents didn't force Me...b.c. then I would have never gotten to be a stats girl for wrestling team..and then I would have never met my Mohawk man...my hope for my kids concerning sports and all that  is as A parent don't kill their dreams or burn them out or pressure in that area...if they want to be great help them...if they don't ask leave it alone...I want only to be Positive and encouraging and not putting down or saying the famous "you could do better" line..if they play sports it will be hard to do..but thats what I would like to do.
Well i need to be going... have a great happy new year ....and a Safe one.

Slow Day..Christmas accounts...

Christmas has come and gone...the tree is down..and the toys are being slowly put away in their new spots...
Sondra could not understand why I wanted to take the tree down...on our way home she told me it was just snowing it still wasn't Christmas...but then when we got home and I wanted the tree down she tells me Christmas isn't over just yet... lol
I love the holidays..and had a great time with family... Christmas eve was great with the family...we thought we would make it for Christmas eve services @ church..but Sondra's attitude sent us home...she needed to be in bed...but there is always next year :)... Christmas morning was a lot of fun...Sondra was funny...she opened presents like a crazy women...
After we finished we went to Spencerville and had a great Lunch and present time too. Such a happy joyous time:)... when we finished there we went straight to my parents..we had a great meal..and  present time was crazy..with 20 in a room opening up presents...it gets crazy... lol..then the following day we wrapped up Christmas in Greenville w/the Clum's...which was a great time....Sondra ran crazy with her cousins...she was shy at first..which was funny...its not really like her to be that...but she warmed up and ran crazy...
I'm happy the rush of it all is over..but I love seeing the family especially in Greenville which we only see on holidays.
So Sondra got her beloved Doll house... Christmas Eve when she got Christmas Money I said...Look Sondra..with this we will buy you a doll house...and she agreed and all was well..Christmas morning she opened up doll house stuff and she says..this can be for my new doll house...everything is solved...so when she got the doll house later that night..she was so happy...she just wanted it open!!!!....I got it put together...and she was happy...she has not stopped playing with it..its a sickness. She waited a while for it..so I'm happy she got that satisfaction...
We all got everything we wanted...it was crazy...Jake was planning on saving his Christmas money and buying a muzzle loader..well his parents got him one..so now he will use the money to buy a scope...Sondra and Stuart's Christmas money..I'm not sure..I'll let Sondra spend some of hers on what she wants...but some of it will be spend on something she needs like snow boots or something..Stuart...I'm still thinking..I'll either save it or i know soon there will be something big he needs that we won't have..so it will most likely go to that...Now me...at first I wanted a new GPS b.c. mine is slowly dying I think...but after Seeing pictures of myself during Christmas I need better attire..I need some shirts and blouses...i look like I'm carrying Sondra's baby sister she really wants...
I'm hoping New Year's isn't so crazy..which I know it won't be....but I'm looking forward to a peaceful weekend..we will be at my Grandpa's Garage playing board games and kids swimming. well not sure If you
A good thing about this week is tomorrow I'm having supper with my long lost best friend Lace and my kids and maybe her husband...then... Thursday I am going to visit the Schwartz and Sondra will get to play with her friend Cara..she is excited for that!..
I hate this week of work every year from Christmas Eve to New Year's Eve....it is always pretty slow... last Friday..I no joke watched Babes in Toy-land on the internet..which that is a kid's movie for anyone who thinks otherwise...b.c. I do.. lol..the last 2 days have been really slow too..fun fun.. well I'll get back to you again when I actually have something interesting to say!...sorry today was so boring
Later
:)
Sondra and her Doll House

And the Festivities Begin tonight at Grandpa Lawrence's! Happy Bday to Jesus :)

SO I have been pretty ambitious this week and this is my 3rd blog... but its Christmas Eve and I am at work...its 10am and I have nothing to do and I'm here till Noon..I don't want to start something that I won't get finished today...  so Here i am ...
I have been so excited for Christmas this year...Sondra is so excited when she sees presents under the tree. I can't wait to see her open up presents and just be down right happy...I'm just a bit nervous b.c. I didn't get her one baby....and well..I'm really tempted to pick one up tonight say its from "Santa". My only problem is... she is getting this doll house that she really wants...after we gave her old one to the church we looked at doll houses at Walmart...and she picked this certain one out...well seeing it was 65 dollars....she wasn't going to have a real big Christmas...but my parents offered to buy it so we could buy her more presents. Here is the dilemma...I know she is getting stuff for her doll house from me/Jake...and also on Jake's side...and she'll get her doll house Christmas night at my parents...I'm thinking it will go over her head you know...or I'll just say...hmmm Maybe someone is getting you a doll house...we should save these for when you get your doll house... she'll totally buy that... or when she gets Christmas Money tonight I'll say...now we can buy your doll house...hopefully people will get you stuff for your doll house...I'm a genius! lol
One great thing I am happy for is Sondra knowing this week is Jesus's birthday..I love the whole Santa crap..but it is really all about Jesus's birth...if you ask her whose birthday is this week..she'll reply...it's Jesus's. She loves the  Little People nativity set we have at home... she has a set place where everyone has to be...
I have realized I have grown up... I am past the gift excitement and so much more excited to see my kids' faces when they open up their presents...I think Stuart will be fun b.c. he has been getting into the presents since we put them under the tree...every present has been partially opened this year courtesy of Stu..I bought some special preemie diapers for Sondra's babies and he got those open and Sondra is like "Stuart you opened your only present and its diapers for your butt!!!"...lol..so funny I went with it...I wrapped them up the best I could...
So Merry Christmas everyone :) have a great day and rememberer Jesus is the Reason..i know it sounds corny but it is such a true statement. I hate getting caught up in the gift buying and holidays that I forget to thank the Lord for sending His Son to save us all from sin..it began in the manger....thats the Story of Christmas! ... love you all..

Sondra Delle Lawrence

when I think about cancer...i hate it..My Grandma wasn't an old woman when she died...she wasn't exactly young..but not old..yet she was at peace...she'd said that she was living on borrowed time...she got so many more years than they said she would...:)...she was always trying to be positive... I was surprised she didn't make it to Christmas just b.c she loved Christmas...She was just done..
today don't so much bother me..but it started last night... I went to bible study..so we didn't have to sit at home thinking..but even at bible study..I sat there and thought to myself...one year ago right now..we were at Grandma's saying goodbye... one year ago I was sitting a long side her bed knowing..this was surely the last time I would see her alive...It was hard...it was sad...that was my 1st time ever experiencing a death in my life..that I could really understand loss. I remember seeing her younger Grand-babies laying in bed beside her- holding on to her so different then what they knew b.c. it was always Grandma that held them... explaining to my Sondra why Grandma was sleeping so much and why she wasn't awake to open her goodies..that she knew she could get away with if she sat with Grandma to eat...or the thoughts in my head of wondering how the baby inside I carried would ever know really who she was...I've had this messed up sense of understanding when you carry a baby that the more your happy the more the baby will be happy..that even before they are born..they sense trouble and happiness...so I was convinced that I needed to try to be happy so is he or she wouldn't be a unhappy baby...  well seeing Stuart..I still beleive that notion...
Today..or this time a year i'm not sad..but I am thankful for the memories I have of this woman.. I love seeing photos of Grandma and home videos of Grandma..she was this truly amazing woman..took care of the home when Grandpa was on the road when he drove trucks...raised 6 kids. She loved her family so much and loved so many that she treated as her own...
the most vivid or heart wrenching moment would have to be at Grandma's church service and it was before it started were sitting behind my Mom and Dad...in the second row..Sondra could see Grandma's open casket and how we explained it to her was Grandma was "sleeping" during the viewing....but.. so as we sat waiting for the service began..Sondra says I want Grandma..I want Grandma up..and my Mom turns around to get her...and she says no I want that Grandma and points to Grandma Sondra... I think that was really her first time understanding that she couldn't have her...it didn't stick with her..b.c. there are times we have to remind her Grandma isn't coming back..or she'll look at me and just out of no where say Mommy- Grandma Sondra died...or Grandma Sondra is riding Mystery right now..she can talk about Grandma with ease like matter of fact...whenever we pray she usually always mentions Grandma... so to my delight..I think Sondra does have a memory of Grandma...
I always liked hearing Grandma talk about Sondra and how she acts a lot like how my Mom did...not really a bad baby..but just very curious and wanted to know/see everything...she said my Mom spent the first 2 years of her life in the center of the kitchen table...Grandma would make her sit there while she cooked so she knew she wasn't getting into anything...and also..Grandma swore she had baby pictures of her and her sister where Sondra kind of looked like them with the blonde curly hair...she would always say she wished she had 1/4 of Sondra's energy..b.c. she is always going 100 mph...
whenever I think about what Grandma may be doing in Heaven I always think she is holding the Grand babies that she was never able to hold..where they were lost before they were born..or holding Baby Ali that we lost at mere months old... my Sondra likes to think that she is riding Mystery at the Mall shopping... and I like to think she is right too..
So today I don't mourn but rejoice that I had this wonderful woman in my life that has and still inspires me to a better person and Christian everyday. Grandma Sondra was a beautiful woman that I wish I can be like...she was truly the "Wife of Noble Character"...Thank you Lord for blessing me with the opportunity of being her Grand-Daughter... Gram- I love you....

if this life doesn't kill me... she surely will! :)

Wow.. Sondra is really really testing me...I'm at the end of my rope as to what to do with her or how to punish her. I have yet to find in niche in what fazes her for discipline. Spanking spoon has lost it's touch. Spanking her butt...does little to be desired. She has started this thing after you tell her something and she makes this noise..HUH..so its like she is getting in the last word...It drives me crazy. It is so ugly! When she talks back or sasses me...I tell her "Little Girls do not talk like that". then if she doesn't stop I'll smack her mouth. I do not like screaming at her so I try to take a cue from Duggar family how you always see the Mom staying calm. I'm really trying that. You know that verse in the bible that talks about Love is patient love is kind..and so forth....whenever I catch myself losing it with her those words just pop up in my head and then I feel guilty... LOVE IS PATIENT JOIE.... ....Maybe I'll try time out or corner. at Amanda's she goes to the corner. I'll spank when it calls it but the first road to discipline will be a warning..corner..and then spanking!... Now I'll just get Jake on board. We both have been running ideas with each other as to what to do... sometime i just throw my hands up in the air and go..what do I do...either way..I understand she is 3 years old and her world revolves around her...and how dare I to not cater to her or give her everything she wants....that is how she thinks and sometime I need to stop and understand that..and ask myself..which battles mean the most...you have to pick your battles with this age..and I am having hard time doing so..
the funny thing with Sondra she can be in such a mood..and then 2 minutes later...she is happy and past whatever she didn't get. I love the girl so much. My favorite part of the day with her is before bed. We lay on my bed and I read a book or usually books to her... it always has to be at least one...but usually its 2 or 3. She loves the stories.
Word to the wise. I have learned in the past year or so to not parent other people's kids when they are right there. It is not your job-get their parents. Sondra has given me a very stressful weekend..and as you can imagine I heard low grumblings of people staring and I know what they were thinking- that girl needs her butt beat and what not... I'm their Mom..you better bet your gonna bite your tongue and stay out of it..b.c. Just as bad as I know she is- She is my girl and I know what a lovely she really is...and I'll hurt anyone who tries to say she isn't...i feel like I may just blow up on a unsuspecting rude person... she just has these big emotions and this personality that doesn't align with the obedient personality. and I like hearing the encouragement of people saying someday this will pay off and how she won't be a follower..and that stuff...but raising such a stubborn child...does take it's toll..
the bad words have slowed down... which I am thankful for.. she said one on Saturday..but I have heard her say it before I know where she has got that from. She got a adjustment and a reminder that other kids may say that but "WE" do not..
So..here is another reason why I won't win the mommy of the year award... so with Stuart I hold him a lot more than I did Sondra..if that is even possible.. but I let him play on the floor and stuff...but the other day..I sat him up just to see if he could..and low and behold.. he can sit up pretty good..which makes me wonder...how long he has been able to do that... lol... i hate that he is growing and doing new things...I want him to stay small forever he is such a good little boy..I'm hoping he is a mellow quiet kid unlike his sister...I need a break...
Sondra had her Christmas program at church on Sunday..she was very funny..she knew her part so well..but when the time came...she couldn't say it..mom told her to stand behind the other sheep and then she said it... my little lady is growing up!...
well Keep me and my family in your prayers... I'll update again this week ;)..
  

Shopping w/the Girls:)Modern Day family of Ms.WillyWonkas,GrouchyPoo& Nightmares on Elm St

Oh What a Long Weekend...

The shopping trip was great..I got some really cute things for Sondra...both kids got build a bears... Stuart a soft puppy... and Sondra a deer from that Rudolph cartoon..her name is Clarice. I can already see it now...Sondra will be setting Clarice around places and pretend to hunt her...the lady that made her asked if she was supposed to be soft or stuffed firm and I said well probably firm b.c she will be hunted by my 3 yr old daughter... lol...its going to be funny..my goal for the shopping trip was to find a new stroller for Sondra's babies..she really wanted one of those mini Graco strollers..the real one where the car seat hooks into like at Kari's... but I couldn't find it and on E bay and those places it was way too expensive..they must not make them no more...anyways..it was a big dilemma...she plays with her umbrella ones but she says she wants a "real" one..hmm... I finally settled for one I found at Target... its a pram one...decent on the price and looks "sturdy"... hopefully... I was able to get Sondra done..and most of my people done..It was such a fun time...my Sister and Sister in Laws are always a great time...and a new addition to the trip was my brother's girlfriend..which I loved..it was a great way of getting to know her :)... when my Mom said we were picking her up at her Dorm I thought this girl is insane..who would want to go shopping w/your boyfriends Sisters, and in laws, and his mother....no pressure or anything lol..---my favorite purchases from the trip would have to be the kid's hats...Stuart got a Mohawk hat..and Sondra got a Donkey hat! :) Both are too precious.>!

Saturday Morning..i woke up late..which I was mad at myself for b.c. I had Candy making... I got the kids their baths and dressed and then up to the church..I had to keep the kids contained while I helped make over 100 pounds of candy...fun :)..to my surprise...when I showed up at the church 15mins. late I find My Aunt Barb and Aunt Deb and My Mom there to make candy...lol.. I had moment of doubt of are we going to get this done...and then instantly I started texting people...my sis in law said she would be up there after she got home from town and my Aunt Denise was working but said she would be up too... and thats it... no one else... as we put in long hours..I thought to myself if everyone just came up for a few hours it wouldn't take so long...and what not..and then I thought maybe we shouldn't do this next year or if we do..people will sign up to be there or maybe groups will be in charge of the different candies b.c. its not fair or right that 6 people put in all the work..its disappointing that people just assume the candy will just make itself

While we were at the church my MIL came over from JR Wrestling meet to pick Sondra up and Sondra wasn't having it...i didn't think it would bother her to leave me but it did... Friday night she came and slept w/me and all day Saturday and Sunday..she was close by my side...so my MIL stayed for a little while and kept the kids entertained..and while she was there Sondra was playing with a toy and she looks up and was like "What the Hell is that??"... I snapped my head and pulled her to the bathroom and got some Vanilla...I put it into her mouth she spit it out..I didn't it again and made her drink it...she bauled...heh..I told her you don't say that..and asked where you said that..and she seriously says..Momma..You say that....I was about to commit murder in the house of God!!!..lol.. it just makes me so mad!...Not that I have never cussed or don't cuss...but I certainly do not do it in front of her...or at her or around her..I know she picks it up..ever since Oct..I don't even say Piss...we don't listen to the radio...we really try to keep her away from regular Tv...I just want to scream...and those funny questions of "where did she hear that Joie & Jake"...really we don't hardly ever talk like that...around her to boot!...so I think I may be sticking with Vanilla..she really didn't like that...i just thought...thanks Sondra use "what the hell is that" so naturally in front of My Mom and Jake's Mom...great!.. and then accuse me of saying it!...and people who think Vanilla would be sweet its not...it smells really sweet but actually is very bitter to taste!

Sunday she behaved so badly!...all day she was very moody..and ready to spar... she was ticked at the world. She was probably spanked multiple times..she even peed her pants..well really didn't get to the potty in time and I put a diaper on her and she tells me to get it off and that her butt was too big for the diaper.... on the way home from my parents she told us her old parents didn't spank her and she liked them better. We said we are her only parents and she says she wants to go live with her old parents...lol...my is my Angel...what can I say...people tell me that it only gets worse...lol.. great...
I know God would never give me something I can't handle..but sometimes I wonder out loud to God and ask why he trusts me so much with this little girl with such a big personality...and although Sondra makes me questions myself as a mother...I know being a Mom isn't supposed to be easy....if it was..everyone would be a great mother...

another thing that has been happening is Sondra has been having Night Terrors..not nightmares... She don't even wake up but she just screams....I can't get her woke up and all I think about is Nightmare on Elm St (thats my most scary movie to me) ...and when she talks it doesn't make sense. It makes me sick...I just pick her up and take her to my bed..and she doesn't sleep well for the rest of the night...she'll sit there and just moan or whimper...or the worst of all..she grinds her teeth..I absolutely don't know what to do...everyone says you can't do anything...but lord...I don't sleep when she has them..and to hear her..it breaks my heart...the only thing I have found out about them online...is it may be caused from not getting enough sleep... or a break in a routine...(me leaving for 2 days)..but she has had them before my trip also...

Also.. I talked about Sondra the whole time Stuart has been a little Angel...He is my Mellow Baby Chill.. he is energetic but mellow if that makes sense..when I walked into the door friday night he was in his vibrating chair and he sees me...gives me a big smile and starts moving and bouncing for me to pick him up out of his seat...that melted my heart!...I love it when he just smiles at me..I know he loves me:)...

So there you have it. this is me :)

Passing Notes-Funny Talk-The Road to Columbus:)

"I hate technology and the witchcraft that is the internet." - My BF Lace---and that is why I love her.. 
we have had some interesting and entertaining messages lately...i wonder what friends can talk like we do..so serious profound thoughts lol..and then make light of it all...if i ever murdered someone or hit the lotto...she'd be the first person I'd call to tell.. lol..she just gets me...
So I took the kids to McDonald's last night since it was my last night watching them...they were very funny and when I told them we were going- Medjina goes oh no Joie- its always a lot of money...or I started asking where we wanted to go...one says I love Texas Road House...I say..I was thinking a little more drive through..and Micheal goes there is Red Lobster lol... These kids must know me well...and my Favorite...Felineta says...I wanna go to China buffet..and with a Sad face says My Dad always took us there- she pulled the sympathy card?!...but after I explained I'm not a rich lady...we all agreed on McDonald's... with Me, Sondra, Madi, Berline, Medjina, Micheal, and Felinta total came to 28.28...holy heck!!!>.. almost 30 at McDonald's!...I have a new found appreciation for Their Mom/Sister Kari...I only spent a few hours a week with these kids..I'm not sure how she keeps her sanity with all the chaos that surrounds 5 kid's daily lives. My favorite from the past 12 weeks is they made fun of my accent...I would say things and they'd repeat them and laugh...and come to think about it I laughed at them and their accent...
I want to praise God for answered prayers this week... its so funny how he works...although it is not the all positive news- but we are happy! There is power in prayer and in numbers of people praying..so Pray for me over for Thursday and Friday..I'm going Christmas shopping!!! Safe travels to Columbus and great deals :)... I am my Grandma's Grand-daughter... this time of year reminds me of her so much..she loved Christmas. I am ready for a 2 day break from it all...yet.. I'm going to be a little IDK how to explain it... I'll be leaving Stuart for 2 days...all those Non-mothers its just silly I know to think..but oh man...when its your baby with Sondra too..I just miss them...I miss their smell their smiles..I miss Sondra's antics. Have I let my kids & husband define who I am...how couldn't I...I don't know who to be without them...or Jake either...Like I'll enjoy myself these 2 days...but at night..I'll think to myself and stay awake thinking how I wish I was home in my own bed..I was never like that till after I got married...I don't like sleeping other places nor do I like to sleep in my bed without Jake...
also mentioning praying for people - Pray for Jake..pray that Stuart will go to bed easily or pray that he don't fall out of our bed b.c. more than likely that is where he will end up...
Well I got to get going!!!!... I'll update...probably next week... until next time :) 

Short but an update!

Stuart did not want to go to sleep lastnight...so I finally got him out of bed b.c. I feared he may wake the sleeping giant (Sondra- you do not want to be around her when she wakes)...so I'm patting his back and started singing You are My Sunshine to him..and no joke he looks up at me and starts laughing..lol...I thought Stu I know I'm now American Idol but come on.. lol.. he is such a sweet heart..I finally gave up and just put him in his bed and listened to him talk for a while...
I'm excited for Thursday and Friday..My Mom and us girls are going on a shopping trip to Columbus... this year though I am going to pace myself and not worry about getting it all done in those 2 days...I know I won't be able to get it all done and I am just going to have to gradually get stuff still Christmas...
Tonight is my last night of babysitting! Its a love hate thing... I don't like the late night for my kids...but it has been so nice and fun getting to know my cousins...They have always been fun & entertaining. I have to say I'm going to miss seeing them on a regular basis.
So Friday night my Cousin Taylor couldn't go and get that movie... I was a bit bummed...I had originally planned on running to town that night...and by the time we got home Friday from friends it was so late that I thought why the heck not??.. lol..So I call up my Sister in Law Kayla...and she says she'll be ready and she'll pick me up...it was such a funny night... at first we thought we were the only two that were going to be in line but sure enough there was a lot of people... lol..I had such a great time! it just got us ready for this week! I will update again!... I am pressed for time! much more to talk about

when It All Falls down

My Body aches... I have been cleaning at work today...working in tank wash gets gross..I won't touch the bathroom..thats a No No. for me...I cleaned up the office and swept and organized some stuff..my boss was cleaning so I felt obligated lol...which made me think of the funniest story ever about working here... I hear a driver walk in and its this big big probably close to 400 pound man in bibs with no shirt underneath dancing in front of our counter with his own personal can of air freshener in his front pocket...and I look at him and get this..he goes where is bathroom darling... and that i why I don't clean the bathroom! being a secretary at the tank wash has many funny stories... we once had a regular transvestite driver come through ever few weeks...it was defiantly a him going to  a her... she had long purple hair and I'm guessing she had her boobs done...as far as everything else..I'm not too sure...but the guys couldn't keep a straight face in front of her so whenever they seen her coming They'd be "busy" ... Shim wore women's clothing..the tight flare jeans and all.. Shim told me purple was my color and that she can't wear purple b.c. of her hair ...lol.. recently we had our first hooker on tape come through...that was a bit exciting to watch the security camera... b.c. she came on 3rds and the lady took my lotion on my desk and used it... eeehh... when I seen that I covered it with antibacterial soap and cleaned it....
My Favorite drivers are the ones that come through every few weeks or months that aren't too comfortable to sit and talk 30minutes...
My job is never dull that is for sure. Being a secretary is very un-fulfilling but that is what I like. when I leave work- I don't bring it home with me... My real job is being a Mom and why I stay working is b.c. they offer retirement and I don't want to rely on only Jake's retirement..I want us to be able to retire and not have to work again although I don't see Jake ever sitting still... its not in his blood..Stuart acts just like him...constantly moving and always talking about something...Sondra..she acts a lot like her Dad too..
This week has been so long and tiring... getting no help in the morning makes me really really appreciate having Jake there but makes me really realize I work from the time I get up till the time my little ones are asleep...thats the difference from Men to Women.. When Men get off work they sit around and "help out" their wives..but its us who go to work..take care of the kids..try to keep the house clean..and laundry and all that...not that Jake doesn't help a lot..I just think its women who feel like they are responsible for it. Like when I sit down at night and look at our living room and its dirty..I just think this needs done that needs moved blah blah blah.. Jake.. he sits down and falls asleep watching his show... lol.. I wish I could have that ability...
 I don't know why I have been thinking about college lately..its not like I'm unhappy at work right now... I get in depressed moods about work..but things are good...I sometimes think what if I had gone to college?... I think some people are not made for college and some are..me.. I'm made to go to college...I like to be given a task and I like to complete it in a "orderly" fashion. That is just me.. So why didn't I go? I wanted a family really. Will I ever go? I can't say yes or no. Financially right now- we could not afford it. and I'm afraid by the time we ever could- we'll just have another thing to worry about and it will feel like its too late..ultimately it all boils down to priorities.. and my education is not one of them and that don't upset me..I always say me and Jake did it the wrong way...we should not have got married..but lived together and had Sondra & Stuart...then I could have gone to school for free..and qualified for WIC and all that great stuff...that may sound petty or bitter but how can someone not feel like that when you see so many do that...thats an attitude I do need to work on...its just sometimes hard...
I'm ready for this weekend... the new twilight comes out tonight..and I might go and take my cousin Tate..we have gone for the first 2 so it only seems right and who am I kidding..I want to see the movie too... and it would be good just to go b.c. I got stuff I need to get and I won't have time tomorrow to do it b.c. I got a pancake breakfast and a birthday party.. so I'll have stuff to report Monday if we do go..its always entertaining! :)...there are some people that dress up and everything...its so funny! welp I'll update later!

Christmas Crap- Sunday School, Nutty Walmart Trip

Oh week can't you move just a little bit faster!.. today has gone fast enough but man... I need the weekend... Jake has been hunting this week... I have gotten up with the kids and gotten them dress everyday this week. Last night Stuart was not sleepy so he didn't go to sleep till midnight.. so today has been a bit long..
I got the motivation to put up the Christmas tree at work..so that means..I'll be obligated to put mine up at home.. my little tree...I probably wouldn't even have a tree but my mom made me..lol.. that sounds sad...its not that I don't like Christmas..but getting it all decorated and all that makes me think..wow..in just a few weeks I'm going to have to clean this all up..
I'm really excited for Sunday School this week.. I made those salt dough ornaments and I'm going to have the kids paint and decorate them..and then they will be able to take them home to put on their tree. Lets hope more than just my kid is there. I want our Sunday School to grow... I want every Sunday kids and their parents to become a part of our church.  
This Saturday I am skipping wrestling and going to a pancake breakfast with friends and their kids... much needed time together....
I have got a lot of the Women's Fellowship Retreat planning done... got the majors done and I'll be meeting with our guest speaker tomorrow... I'm excited to talk with her and hear some ideas..and I'm excited to share my ideas... I'm praying all this comes together and everything turns out great... I am trying to finalize the schedule...
 so i take Stuart to the doctor and I tell her what is going on..and she tells me I'm sorry you brought him in and  all but I think he is just teething...why would someone apologize to me for not having a sick kid?? ...lol.. I said no problem..I already met my deductible this year! :)...Which thinking about it- I guess he could be even if there isn't any teeth coming through yet...it just seems odd to me... I know every baby is different but Sondra had 2 teeth come through without me even knowing it..and this kid is a fuss butt and no teeth are close to coming through... who knows..I busted out the teether and baby Tylenol and my little man is a drugged up happy little man lol.. lets hope he don't get hooked...Sondra already will need braces..I can't afford rehab too..
So Jake insisted yesterday that he would need throat spray and it couldn't wait..so I thought then I need to go to town..I was baby sitting the cousins and had it all planned out... I would drop Madi off at Bball..and then Me, Berline, Medjina, Michael, Felineta, Sondra, And Stuart would head to Walmart... at first thought I say to myself is.. am I nuts?..but really then I thought- people do it all the time... So Berline pushed Stuart in a cart..I had Sondra & Felineta in  a cart.. and Medjina & Michael held on to the sides of the carts...we looked a little chaotic..but it was doable...I remember getting what I needed and nothing else registered..we had a few near Shopping Cart Crashes but nothing too bad i would like to see the Walmart security systems and let me say I have never said no so many times in my life...Joie I want this..I want that.will you buy me this..why won't you..a nice baby sitter would buy me this..and Sondra's- My Grandma would buy me this..blah blah blah..... If I had to do it again..I could... But totally makes me rethink the whole 6 kids thing... In a simple world..I would have 6...in this world with these people and whatnots... I don't know..we'll see what God has in store for us..
Also today is December 1st and its snowing... it sucks I hate snow..but that is not what I was saying... where has the year went??? Its crazy that this year is just about gone.. its sad :(
Also the radio ban in the car is getting old... we have been listening to Sondra's Sunday School music... not that I don't like it but this girl can only sing a long with pre adolescent kids for so long. I do love to hear my little girl sing the songs though...its precious and makes me smile :)

What a big 4 day weekend...life is crazy..but I'm going to make it through- one way or another

Coming clean is never an easy thing to do. But I have come to realization that life isn't always pretty. In order to have a bright future for my little futures & me and my husband I need to clean up my act and quit trying to do it on my own. I don't know why I didn't do this earlier because I think it is for the best... this is just the beginning of my journey that I'm starting...but get ready for a new me...
My 4 days from work was much needed but little sleep was granted. Stuart has been waking up at night because he is so congested and coughing. He doesn't have a fever but has been very irritable.. Last night was the worst. He probably slept one block of 4 hours...beyond that it was up down up down... I'm taking him to the doctor today at 3 because I cannot handle it no more! I think I am going crazy... my best guess is that he has a ear infection. I could and will be wrong. So keep him in your prayers...
on thanks giving me and Jake got to talk to my Grandpa Reffitt and he told us stories about my Dad and some were quite funny. I love listening to his stories and his ways..I feel like I need to make a big effort and actually visit him more and not just on holidays...just because I wasn't close to my Grandma Reffitt...I shouldn't hold it against him...he actually hinted at wanting more company... (thats a big deal for Grandpa)...
My daughter had another bad word moment...I cringe every time a song comes on the radio and now I'm convinced that We can not listen to it no longer with her in the car...it has to be strictly her songs... you know that song that goes do you know any johnny cash..and the band starts to play and blah blah Hell ya play that song... Well as my daughter was at her Grandma & Grandpa Reffitt s sitting in a window playing with a kids nativity scene set I hear her on repeat...blah blah HELL YA play that song!..Hell ya play that song.over and over.. we heard that song in the car maybe a few days earlier... why in the heck did that hook have to stick in her head... I don't know what to do except not listen to the radio... we continue to remind her what are OK words and what are ugly bad words that would warrant a mouth full of soap... I can't fault her when she doesn't know that its bad like mentioned above... i am the one who let her hear that song.. I know that I will never be able to keep her from not hearing those words so I understand she will try to say them but my only job is to show her it is wrong and SHE will not say them even if she hears someone she knows say them....Pray for us... I still have yet to wash her mouth out with Soap...but the day is coming...
What I have been most thankful for this year is my Husband. He has always loved me or so appears... he has not left...but has stuck by my side... he will be my new years resolution to keep him happy...and show him everyday different ways of how much I appreciate and love him...I'm amazed how much love changes us.
Keep me in your prayers, my Son to get better..My daughter to mind her mother and her mouth...and my husband. Also My Grandpa Lawrence isn't feeling good...he has had a rough time lately..and needs extra prayer..

Thankful

I am absolutely thankful for the life I was born into. I was born to a stable home where I was brought up in the church. Where later in life I should have known better concerning some of the things I was doing..but I'm thankful for the Lord and his forgiveness. I'm thankful for getting to be a part of a church family. I am thankful God sent me the right man for me. I am thankful especially this year for Stuart. I prayed and hoped for a awful long time for him and when it seemed hopeless- we got good news. I am thankful for my few good lovely friends. I am thankful for my family and their Love. I'm thankful to see my Brother happy again. I never thought it would happen for a long time- and I have never seen him this happy ever. Its intoxicating. I am thankful I have a regular babysitter again. I am thankful she can handle Sondra and her antics. I have seen a serious Change in Sondra and the way she listens. I am thankful for the the Lord helping me this year in trying times. I am thankful for Jake's work for giving him a promotion and raise. I am thankful for our parents who help us throughout the year. I am thankful our home. It may be a small and humble house- but its our home. I am thankful for the memories my Mystery gave me. I am thankful for God giving me the courage to say enough is enough with her and not let her suffer. I am very thankful for the adventures I had with my Grandma and sadly she did pass last December but I am thankful she went with ease in her sleep. I'm thankful she did not have to suffer no more and not feeling like herself being trapped in her chair. I am thankful for the women of my family keeping the Sunday dinner tradition alive. I am thankful for so many things- and I could go on and on...this is just a small part    

Laundry Dry, Big Baby TV, & The Stewie Controversy lol..

What a weekend I had...what a weekend...
I found myself Friday night wondering what I was going to do the next morning...everyone was busy except me and the kids... so... Saturday morning rolled around... and I decided we were home until Jake came home from wrestling crap was done... I woke at 830 to feed Stuart and keep him in my bed... and started a load of laundry...got back up at 930 to Sondra in my bed...butt naked...no matter what I put this girl in at night she wakes up with totally different clothes on or nothing on..if she is real excited for the next day she will put her clothes on that we have laid out... she is funny..so we get up I get Sondra breakfast and continue to do laundry... my house has been pretty "tidy" for my standards but needed a little cleaning...I give the kids a bath in between laundry... (common theme= laundry) Jake gets home.. we talk about what we are going to do today...if I ever say lets clean...he always comes up with something else to do..so when I say we don't have nothing..lets just clean up some..he starts..well lets see what my parents are doing today..maybe we will go to Spencerville...I agree...I'll be honest..I'll find any reason not to clean...no such luck..they were in Greenville for the day but after he gets off the phone he says Oh ya My dad called yesterday (i'll explain later)... so I say..Lets just clean up and do laundry..and we'll order pizza in or something or go get dinner...well not long after Jake had to go to my Grandpa's to clean farm stuff...so he was gone for a few hours... I got a lot of laundry done...we ended up folding 8 loads of laundry...and I got my last 2 in the washer/dryer now(catching up from when we didn't have  a working washer & lets be honest...I hate laundry- usually only do what we need)... Our house is clean and I love that.. the only room thats not clean in our bedroom & our back room..I want to move things around I just have to come up with a way to how I want to do it...
so when Jake got off the phone he says his Dad called yesterday and wanted to drop off a free Tv for us which Jake's dad got through work..and I was thinking Yay!.. I have been saying I wanted a new Small TV to hang in our bedroom so we could get rid of the stand...well when he called his parents Saturday to see what they were doing they said they would drop the tv off Sunday..they came over Sunday Mom, Dad, & Zac.....dropping off our new baby...a 55 in. Flat Screen!... I never in my life thought I would own a big TV...but Wow..its nice... so instead of getting a small TV to hang in our room..our med. sized Tv from living is going to our room and our Big Baby is on hanging on our wall right now courtesy of Spencer Jake Zac Chris...while Me the kids..Patty and Rachel watched! Although it looks rather large in our small house I had to live by my motto in life: If its free its for me! It was such a nice pleasant surprise :)
As I look back on the weekend...I think how nice it is just to be home.. yay sure I was busy doing laundry..but its nice not to have anything to do...I really enjoyed it...and next week is the first Wrestling thing...its Spencerville Preview... that should be fun :)...I'm really excited for wrestling now...I'm excited to see the boys do good. I know we got a few good ones & can't wait to see which ones make it to March!!!
Also..this is just matter of factly kind of info...
When I named both of my kids- I never intended to call them a shorter version from the start. Does that mean I'll never call them a "nickname"..no... People always ask me if I call Stuart - Stewie...and I say no I usually call him Stuart...and then they say oh you don't like that..and no that is not it... it does not bother me at all if you call him that....I prefer to let his friends someday give him that nickname. if I call him anything but his name i sometimes call him Stu just b.c. I think its funny b.c. Stu is such a old man name... Or my Favorite...when I was pregnant when we told people what we were naming him they would ask if we were naming him after Stuart Miller from Delphos... lol... and No we didn't... he was a pretty awesome wrestler...but no...Stuart was our favorite S name to follow our SRC tradition of naming our kids... 
Until next time :)
Joie

Happy Friday... miss my Lace...and Retreat Worries...

My Spirits are Lifted today!... its Friday.. I miss my little baby boy so much today...I love me some Sondra... but I know she can function without me...she tells me about her days and her feelings and all that..but Stu can't... so I miss seeing him and knowing what he is doing...I can't beleive how many people always say what a happy baby he is or asks me if he is always like this...and actually he is..I was blessed with such a happy fellow...not that he doesn't cry...but he is happy the majority of the time..and he is so stinkin' pretty... Jake says I'm partial..but he is beautiful...
seeing my Lace last Friday makes me miss her more...everything Thursday we use to watch greys...so on Thursdays I think of her too...just bout everything I do-- I think of some funny memory...man I"m talking like we use to date or something... lol... we had some of my family fooled :) ..I'm so lame... I can't wait till she moves back b.c. then I will get to see her..and then she'll be having babies...but I secretly pray they have a oops anyway while they are away...lol bahaha
I have really been trying to get the Women's Retreat for my Women's Fellowship group figured out. I do not know why I volunteered to get it put together...I was pretty ambitious that night... I must been on one of my high positive moods!... getting the hotel finalized as to where...got to go look at one tonight... our Catered meal is pretty much covered... but our Guest speaker not so much...our theme is "A Women After God's Own Heart" and we have a book to pass out and all..but who should I have speak..any ideas?...Please get with me... Crafts won't be too hard..and I a lot of help...its just we still need to come together to talk about it all..I'm very excited... I want to do something totally different..and be somewhat organized and not seem like it was just thrown together...there has already been a lot of thought put into this and all....but I just want to get things done...

Well I need to be going...

Wednesday..how I despise you!

Man I'm ready for a dinner, a hot bath, and doing nothing...I am so tired... tire...my body is screaming for some rest!...Stuart slept on his way home from Kari's last night...so when we got home..he was re-energized..alls I remember is feeding him at 12:45...man it was a early morning....
I got a Sunday School meeting to go to tonight at 6. Hopefully I get everything I need to get done before then.
This Saturday is our first wedding outing.... we are going to hobby lobby to look at flowers...hopefully its successful trip :)  well I'm off...

The Case of The Mondays...

OH Lord..its only Monday and I can't wait for Thurs/Friday..I'm in a dire need for a vacation. When I was pregnant I really looked forward to my maternity leave...and thinking about it...I don't even remember it..the 4 weeks felt more like a long weekend... thats sad... I'm really looking forward to retirement..lol... i do not wish for life to fly by...but I can't wait for a time where I wake up and have nothing to do... I long to wake up and not thinking about how I have to spend 8 hours somewhere other than w/my little family..
also.. when you have a disagreement with someone...and they continually get catty and rude... and at the end say "I don't want to fight".....which I guess if you want let someone know their actions came across the wrong way about something...i guess thats fighting... yet they are catty, unreasonable, rude about the matter... it doesn't solve anything... just means as much as I'd like to tell you what I really think..I'm just going to smile b.c you guessed it... it was rude...but not worth it.. just wanted to let them know.

Sondra this morning at 4am... woke me up to tell me she peed the bed... oh how I love her... so then when I got her all settled... and then back up at 730....she was not a happy camper...when I dropped her off at Amanda's.. she was so mad at me she wouldn't even tell me bye..hopefully when I go to pick her up...she will be happy... I just want to get home and make some food and be with my kiddies... We have to clean up tonight..and also Clean the kid's room... and finally... I'm slowly but surely ... catching up on my laundry...

Well getting close to 4pm.. I'll be back later this week...please pray for me... I need this week to go by~!

This is me and Stu..he is my darling.

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Start Serious..forget it..and then my usual

To you
i have come to the acknowledgement we have grown apart... we are so different...absolutely totally two different paths...and beliefs.. How did this happen? We were best friends...we could not see each other for months or talk..and when we were together...its like we never skipped a beat...what the hell?...how did this happen..I haven't seen you in years... I am a mother..you haven't met my not only my first nor second...apparently we weren't that good of friends..... I always knew you would do big things...you know I did always tell you that... when you said you wanted to do one thing..I encouraged you..and when it changed I still encouraged you... remember that dreadful weekend..you felt so sorry for yourself....wasn't it I who helped you out...and wait a second..encouraged you? i still have that little book you wrote in..always did support you..reach out to you..and now for the past few months..I'm sorry to say...I have given up..if you really wants to know how I was doing or how my kids are...lets face it..you'd email me back...I'm not wanting anything..just wondering out loud.....I guess that is what happens.. people come in your life and out of your life for reasons...they teach you what you  need to learn and then unbelievably they leave your circle...and if you do happen to read this...you know who you are... i'm not really mad at all..I just am kind of surprised..I have no intentions to make it right. i have been thinking about you lately...
love- me

Sleep has found me.gray tooth 101.sleep over...and generous family thrown in:)

HE SLEPT ALL NIGHT...Stuart finally gave in and did it...and I'm pretty sure its him sleeping too much in evening.. yesterday..when he had his bottle when he got home we gave him a nap so he wouldn't be so tired in the evening..and then 20 min before 10 he fell asleep and I let him sleep and woke him up and fed him is bottle at 10 and laid him down when he finished...he slept clear till 7am... thank you Jesus..
.So happy it is Friday! Sondra is having two friends stay the night...she has been asking for weeks and now asking all week what day it was they are coming....I don't know if they will ever fall asleep tonight...but I'm gonna put them in sleeping bags on the floor and hope for the best ;).. .
Our Washer has been making the strangest noises...and now it is leaking..bad..its a goner....its done a real good job for the past 5 or so years... but I was totally bummed yesterday when Jake said its time for a new one.... but thank God.. My wonderful Beautiful cousin Meg-pie offered an extra one she has sitting in her garage..I'm so thankful for first. Family..and 2ND... generous family!..I'm excited..and very happy..i owe you bunches...
On a negative note...Sondra's one tooth is looking a little gray... so I have researched it online...and it says 2 things can happen...it could just be the blood in the tooth discoloring it from when it was injured (courtesy of her dance moves).but it will go away after a few weeks and if it doesn't then....it could be that the tooth is dying...and when that happens..if she doesn't complain that it doesn't hurt..then let it be...the tooth will be gray until it falls out.... but if really concerned call dentist... hmm... great..i have a bad feeling...I'm going to fail my one goal for her pretty little smile...
I am so ready for this weekend...I need a break for the daily crap....
and beware its likely Miss.Sondra Ray will be getting her mouth washed out w/soap..she has said a far worse word...where I have not a clue who she has heard it from.. I'm really starting to get mad now...

Whats a Momma go to do?

If I have every had a doubt in my abilities...its now.. this is the second week for Stuart waking up around 430 to 5...sometimes he isn't even hungry..and others he could wait but I feed him so he'll go back to bed... I played with the idea maybe he is ready for cereal. I have been putting it in his bottle every night since...last weekend...the night I did it he slept till 8am the next morning.. but the following night and after nights...its so inconsistent..and beleive me when I say..I don't want to start feeding him anything besides formula..my theory is if he is sleeping through the night there is no reason to start cereal or anything else for that matter b.c. formula provides your baby with what he needs for the 1st year. doctor thinks he maybe teething...but he isn't uncomfortable you know.. I think he may be sleeping too much in the evening so I'm going to try to keep him up more in the evenings.....so does anyone have any other suggestions?.. .
one accomplishment is: Sondra/Stuart's Room is clean..well for the time being... we cleaned out some of her toys and have agreed to give a few to certain friends that she knows...but she goes back and forth on it..I got to get them out of the house before she really renigs on the deal...She has one toy box and one box for babies & baby stuff...and whatever does not fit in those 2 things...goodbye!...so more stuff will be going...toys bother me... there are things that she loves to play with all the time..and others..she'll play with every so often..but not everyday..but I look at it and think...what do i do?..I'm excited this year b.c. 2 years ago she got a doll house that she loves so much...she played with the thing till the faces were almost worn off....well we decided to donate it to our church nursery so everyone can play with it on the condition that Santa brings her a new doll house... So I'm excited to buy her one and she is going to love it!...thats my only MVP gift I know to get her..there are other little things...but thats the biggie.. also..any suggestions what kind of doll house to get her??...
Also this week.. Sondra has really showed me who is in control...lol.. or reminded me what needs done...she just has this huge big personality inside this little body and she has such big and strong emotions...its quite endearing...I look at her and wonder who she'll be...but she has been so stubborn and we have really had to get on her.. just when you think you have control ....they do something different and flip the game on you...:)...
I was at Kari's last night..and it seems easier and easier to have a bunch of kids....I like that chaos... but I'm happy...they seem to be so comfortable with me now...I was sitting on the couch and the older girls were upstairs and the two youngest were sitting on the couch with me...both on each side... scooted all the way by me... Micheal's head on my shoulder and Flinta's feet sitting on my legs... they are a fun bunch of kids...seriously..never a dull moment...
One very funny thing tho...when I got home from Kari's last night Sondra was already in bed..so when I woke her up this morning and was getting her ready I noticed her nails were painted...I said oh pretty Did Amanda painted your nails? and she says No Daddy did... lol.
and my favorite little tidbit My daughter Told the baby sitter yesterday: My Mommy puts beer in my cereal!...thanks Sondra you are such a sweetheart!

Oh Thursday...how I love you!

So Today will be a good day...well its 10am and its good already... Today at 1pm Stuart has his shots...which I usually laugh at...its so funny..b.c. he is going to be sitting there..having a good time..smiling laughing and then they give him his shots...and out of nowhere his face just screams...like where did that come from???...I may be the only mother in history to laugh at my kids when they get their shots...but an encouraging note..I come unglued when they do get hurt..like at times I try to be one of those parents they say Oh your OK...blah blah blah toughen up...but if I think there is any remote hurt...I baby them!.. I'm their Mommy...thats my job...
Which reminds me...I'm suing Ya Gabba Gabba...Sondra is watching it..and it was dance time w/friends..and she was dancing and then it was freestyle...well she got a little crazy in her dancing...(her father's genes shining through) and she fell on my parents wood floor and hit her teeth!...I thought to myself..I failed...thats like my one goal for her...To let her Clum cloppers (we named her front teeth)  fall out naturally...I flipped her gums around one of her front teeth was bleeding!.. started calling my Mom & Sister...asking them...they said not to worry... if they aren't cracked and don't look like they moved up then give her some Tylenol.. and if one falls out..it falls out... well as of today it looks like we are good! So I have not failed my goal so far...
tonight we are trick or treating in Lafayette...well this year its Jake turn to take Sondra around...who knows.. Jake could sucker me into it.. i love seeing her face and making sure to tell the people thank you...its adorable!~... then Saturday my parents are having a little friends/family get together...really fun..campfire food and stuff... Then on Sunday after church we are going to Spencerville to go trick or treating with Jake's parents...that will be really fun! :)
One Note: Sondra has been really testing me...like if she can't get her way she'll lay on the ground and say her legs are broke and she won't do what I want...I haven't had to use my spanking spoon in a long time..but I think it is time to remind of the consequences... last night I told her to take all her toys to her room..and she started a fit..I grabbed my spanking spoon and smacked it on the table and said Listen up..if you don't get moving..your gonna get the spanking spoon...that made her move..but I looked down at my beloved spoon decorated up w/Sondra's name and initials...and it cracked... w/many suggestions...I think I am going to start using a spatula... wish Sondra luck...one good report...she has not relapsed yet w/her bad word...which makes me a bit sad..I wanted to wash her mouth out w/soap...

Jude, New Shirts, and A Stormy Day!

Although the stormy day sucks...I am happy to report I am in  a great mood..
Yesterday- MY nephew Jude was born finally... he weighed 8 lbs 5 ounces and just shy of 22in. long...I was so excited the whole way up to the hospital!!! I have not got a new nephew or niece in 8 years....and I'm still waiting on the niece part..hint: Kayla/Rick and Rachel/Chris.... Jude was so adorable..I didn't get to hold him long or see him long..but I just wanted  a glimpse and leave the parents alone...the first day with all the people was very...IDK.. its just kind of over whelming...I couldn't tell you how happy I was both times the first night where it was just me/Jake and our baby together alone..w/Stuart I was more out of it...well I was out of it... I can't even remember the day after he was born...I just remember when they all left and the nurse came in and was like you ready to get up?..and I said ya and I got up and it didn't even hurt...so odd...b.c. w/Sondra it burned like hell...but I still moved anyway..w/Stuart I could have gone and ran a marathon after my C/S!...lol..well ok in my head I could have...
So we ordered T shirts for work...and low and behold they are finally here...I am so happy!...I now don't even gotta think about finding an outfit for work...I'm so happy..
SO I came into the office in my new pretty Tshirt... and there are storm warnings..and all.. and then we just sat outside to watch the sky...and then when the storm came through..finally it has cleared up and I am babysitting the kids tonight which should be fun!...they are always a riot and a funny story waiting to happen!
I'll get back to you!
ALSO! Gramps got out of the hospital yesterday!! ... so very happy!
Joie

All is invited to Jonelle's Pity Party...Its my Party...I'll Cry if I want too...

I have had a lot on my mind... one...i hate one uppers...i may even be guilty of this..but I'm really going to be self conscious about this... and a one upper is a when you tell somebody something and they have to respond tell you how they did that better or how something all together better... IDK..you get it though right... or you get my annoyance with it...
So Jake has open mats tonight which I'm starting to dread this time of year... this time of year when wrestling starts to begin... don't get me wrong Wrestling fans...I love my AE Mustang's wrestling team just as much as the next one...i love the boys know which weight class they wrestle...what they are good at and what not...love the parents.....but my husband is a assistant coach and what that means to me is... he don't get home anytime before 6pm ?..not sure exactly like a pregnant woman forgets the pain from delivery I do the same with wrestling so I am excited for it to start again......And our weekends are full of wrestling tourneys w/now 2 small kids but you know the weekends isn't bad b.c. we can leave whenever we want and It gives me time to spend time with friends and stuff..but it sucks through out the week b.c. Sondra goes to bed at 8pm..so it don't leave much room for them 2 and Sondra more than ever needs her Daddy Me time..and for a family as a whole...when shall we ever have dinner together..I always joke that during wrestling season I'm a single Mom.....and I know there are single moms out there that will disagree and think how dare she make that comparison but your not writing this blog...and thats my little Ole opinion of my situation.....one good thing is...we have our family day on Sundays..which is solely devoted to being together...and nothing will get in the way of that...and if so... beware of my heaping fire of wrath.. lol.. but I would beware....its one thing for me to fight for his attention...but not for my darlings...

Also.. its just the time of year...I have started to make my Christmas budget...and look at it and wonder...how will it ever work... lol.. some way some how..it can work.. Stuart really won't need anything but I'll have to get him one gift..he isn't going to remember it..and his Aunts & Uncles..are there to spoil him... :)...but with Sondra.I've gotta up my game...she is into Opening up presents!...so volume is what counts...but I don't want to get her all kinds of cheap chintzy stuff...so I'm starting a list..and really going to shop around...last year after thanks giving me and Melissa went to ToysRus to watch the craziness...well I might have to be apart of that craziness.. lol.. this year though...I'm taking my video camera.. haha..hopefully we do go..

I've also gotta get some creative ideas for this weekend...Jess has been wanting me to take pics of colt..and while we are doing that all 3 of them are gonna get pics together..and then I'm gonna try and get a quick family pic of me Jake and kids...we don't have a new since Stuart was born..and I really don't want to spend money to have someone take a bad one..lol..not that mine will be good..b.c. I have 2 kids...that already I know teachers will be begging me to get them heavily medicated to sit still in school...and a husband that his version of a smile....I won't even describe it...lets just say teeth are never involved... and then me... I see myself in pictures and go... who is that girl..where have I ever gone.... we were looking at old pictures over the weekend...and so many people said look at you and Jake... you guys were so young and skinny.... after about the 2nd one...I thought I'm not old..that was just a what maybe 4 or 5 years ago...so I'm just over weight and young... thanks :).....sniff sniff ..pity party for me ..
which leads to another topic....dieting... we are supposed to be "wanting" to start a diet...well I am..but seriously- I don't need one more thing to worry about doing...i see old pics of me and think man I looked good...and want to look that way...but.. I must not care about myself enough..b.c. I haven't followed through with losing weight in a long time..i didn't keep any weight on from Stuart..my legs are actually smaller but my midsection is another story...to be my weight before I had Sondra....I need to lose 18 pounds... and with Sondra..I took it off..and then got happy and didn't bother to continue what I was doing... I need to find a happy medium...I wanna be that girl again...but is it worth forfeiting the time? I will promise though I'll be doing a lot of swimming this winter...being in a house with 2 kids won't work...so we'll be swimming and spending time w/Grandpa Kenny..plus Stuart has to be a fish just like his big sister Sondra...and Sondra this year needs to give up her floaties and swim like a big girl.....  
I think I have rambled on enough...and pitied partied myself out..sometimes it just feels good too... you'll hear from me again..maybe this week...and also pray for my Grandpa Kenny he is in the hospital for a few days...he has bronchitis...which is making it hard for him to breathe..He will get out in a few days docs have said..
much love
Joie

Awkward Speedway Encounter ;) & My Potty Mouthed Daughter-"like her mother" Jake would say

So I go to Speedway Monday Morning because I gotta have my sweet tea for the day...and I had 2 teas in my hands for me & my aunt...and I set them on the counter...and the first words out of this cashier girls mouth was.."Wow- looking at you- I would have never guessed that you would have a tattoo."... I thought to myself.."what the hell??"... i was kind of speechless...like was I supposed to explain why i have them..or explain people aren't what they always seem to be...or maybe the "don't judge a book by it's cover" line..I don't know..it was awkward...honestly..I want more...if I'm ever in LA I will get a tattoo by Kat Von D... awesome!...she does really awesome animal portraits and I'm just waiting on the right person to do a Tattoo for my Mystery... When I'm done having kids completely I'm getting some kind of family tree tattoo..can't picture it..but I want something to that extent... and all this talk of tattoos...it probably will freak Jake- his/mine family out.. b.c. I don't know...it just would...they don't understand it...they are "bookmarks" marks of pride in my life that I care to carry with me...my 1st Tattoo was my honeymoon tattoo of Jake's name and our anv. date...I was/am so proud to be his...and I want everyone to know it....this girl is taken...my 2ND my bible verse "proverbs 22:6:... it marks my entrance into motherhood...got it a few months after Sondra was born- it reminds me that if you put the work in now ...it matters down the road...and my 3rd tattoo my Gram's initials... I was/am so proud of that precious lady...she left such a legacy in us it is not even funny...why I can cook..its b.c of her...my spiritual family tree - people who led the people that lead me to Christ...she is a part of it...i only wish I can at least be half of what she was for me as a Grandma... b.c. this lady gave me so many memories to share forever and ever with my own children/grandchildren...she showed me how a grandma is supposed to be...and gave me such a great example of how to be that..
I had a really funny story to tell you guys too... man this sucks...OHHH.. now I remember... Sondra has a bit of a potty mouth lately... now... growing up when I got a little bit older I got in the habit of saying piss...Its in my everyday langue... its not even a oops sorry thing when I say it..its just a word...when me and Jake started dating...and he would always be like watch your mouth..lol.. BC to him that was a bad word...and my explanation would be piss is not a bad word..but it certainly isn't a "pretty" word...that was my mom's description of that word and for suck too... lol.. and to me that makes complete sense...well Sondra has never ever said it until a bout 3 or 4 weeks ago and I swear she says every Sunday..the first time she said it was when she was w/my mom and she mad her cat mad and mom says something about don't make that cat mad...and she says..ya "I sure pissed that cat off!"....my mom was speechless...she went into the whole your not allowed to say it..blah blah blah..i thought it was taken care of..we assumed she said it b.c. the day b4 she was with me jess and Kayla..and I will admit Me & Jess probably said it a lot..(thats Jessy's word) and so the following week I have watched my mouth not said it... the following Sunday...we are at my parents again...we get in our car and pulling out and Jake says something about saying by to Bambi the mule and she says NO!..I'm not gonna piss Bambi off..I don't piss her off...and I immediately start saying No you don't say that..and I thought she got the picture...well we didn't even get down to the corner to the grave yard..she says Well I don't piss of Bambi but I do piss snot off...and Jake couldn't take it..he pulls over int he parking lot of the grave yard...and opens up her door and gets right into her face and got the message through...or so we thought...well..this Sunday..Schwartz are over to see Sondra's Pony..and Sondra and Cara are driving Daisy...and I see Sondra come up the barn crying..and I say Whats wrong..she says..I said a bad word..and I said really??...What did you say..she her response is.."I don't even want to say it Momma"..and she says...something about the cat word...and so I think she is catching on...I just don't think she knew which word we were telling her not to say...so... I think she gets it..and so now I'm now prepared to wash her mouth out with Soap if she says it again... and honestly..I don't blame her..she has heard and didn't think twice about saying it..and that is why she knew how to use it..and let me just Point out..I never said it to her or stuff like that... like she has heard me talking to someone or something like that..I would NEVER say "Sondra your  pissing me off" or anything like that... I'm not a perfect parent ...but I will never talk to my children like that...just wanted to share this story with you b.c. 1. all kids say a bad word and 2. I'm sure she'll have another bout with a bad word 3. and thank God she said piss and not a worst word... I can live with Piss...   so pray for Sondra...hopefully she doesn't have a relapse and gets her mouth washed out...!

Sondra on her first pony Daisy-Bob

Oh MY Friday~

Oh Friday...I have been patiently waiting for you! Although the beginning of the week was kind of sad...I did get see some great family...I always love getting together with them..wish we would do it more often..
So Its been one full week since I bought my iPod touch...and oh how I have fallen madly in love with it...it satisfies my want for a smart phone. Jake annoyingly likes the games on it and tries to steal my little piece of heaven from me... I have my music on it...games..neat cool apps....books...just everything...even a period planner app that tells me when my next period should arrive..I gotta find an app to remind me to take my birth control and then it would be complete.... lol a period planner... I laughed and thought I'm gonna download that and then I looked to see what it was and thought... wow that is kinda useful..lol 
I have a "busy" weekend....tonight...have to be home or somewhere in front of the TV to watch the reds!!!... Jake's real love... so we will probably watch at my GPA Kenny's... then sometime this weekend I gotta go to the store b.c. funny me thought man I'll make lasagna for Sunday dinner...i still got to talk to more people to bring the other stuff...but gotta get to the store to get the stuff i need to actually make it.. I'm excited..I love Sunday dinner..and anything Italiano makes my day..well any that i like... 
Also Saturday.. Sondra will be meeting her new pony Daisy-Bob my parents got at the Mt. Hope Sale..she originally wasn't going to get one..but since this summer and all her riding...Mom&Dad thinks she is ready...I'm so excited...b.c. this is her first Very own pony...I can't wait to see her riding around on her making memories... everybody that has a horse remembers their own first pony... Mine was a white Shetland pony..I named him Mr. Logan b.c. Wolverine was my favorite X men character and thats his real name...  we got him from Mr.Begg from Wagon train...this pony was so stubborn..I remember my first year at fair I took him in barrels and the arena had really deep mud b.c. of all the rain that year and he started acting up in the arena..rared once or twice i finished the patterned was upset..and at the time and my age this older 4h boy..who I had a absolute crush on.. rode over and told me what a great job I did for making my pony finish..and some other stuff every older 4h person should tel to younger kids that aren't doing as well as they would like or think they should be doing..and as he rode away..I was happy and saying "Why thank you Mr. Logan"... 
And for any inquires why her Name is going to be Daisy-bob... because Daisy is her actual name and Sondra for the longest time has said she was naming her pony Bobbie b.c Jake use to have a spotted draft horse named Bobbie..so she thinks all her horses should be named Bobbie...and her Grandma the softie...will allow it.. its like Colts one pony we had...her name was supposed to be Dolly...but Colt wanted her name to be alligator..so they settled for Dolly-Gator..and I know you think that sounds funny..but thinking about it now..it would sound funny if we just said Dolly.. lol.. 
Well This is LONG...sorry... Got a lot to say..Stay tuned...I'll be posting a pic of Sondra with her Pony and her big FAT smile..she will have... I'm thinking I'm gonna bust out the video camera too.. 
Much Love
Later

Short and sweet

So I was in Greenville Monday & Tuesday..Jake's Grandpa did pass away...he had a very nice service where the kids and family shared memories of him...he was one interesting man and hearing the stories about him makes Jake...make sense...if you can understand that..Grandpa always wanted a Great Grandson Clum boy that would carry on the Clum name...so when Stuart arrived..the pressure was off and Grandpa Clum had at least one Clum boy in the 3rd generation...
although its Wednesday and midpoint through the week..I Have not been feeling good lately..and my throat hurts from coughing so much..so tonight..I'm gonna do the bare minimum mommy stuff and hope Jake picks up the slack... i'll update you later ;)

Happy & Not happy about Friday..

So....its Friday and I am happy that it is Friday..but not.....Jake's grandpa has had a stroke and he is not doing good..and its unexpected...he has been a pretty healthy guy... so its a surprise...
Jake & my Cousin Sam and one of her friends are on their way to cinci for a red's game... Jake's big love...we have already been to a reds game this year b.c. usually a salesman gets Jake tickets... but I told him I didn't want to spend all day or night at a game w/out the kids... I'm just not ready...and that is a big issue with me I will someday explain...but better with Sondra...but Stuart...can't lose me just yet...
Tonight me and My sister in law are going to go get our nails done..I'm excited bout that~... I've always wanted to and I thought why not... i got my Babysitting money I'm gonna do it!...
Hopefully this weekend goes good..and keep Jake's Grandpa & family in your prayers..

New Hair..Skype...all in one day...

So I've been a bad girl and have not wrote all week...I don't know why... I've been kind of busy at work..I feel like the day flies...like I have no motivation sometimes to get stuff done..but I don't know what I done in that time..lol...I don't know.. I just use to have a lot of free time at work..and at work now...it doesn't feel like that...
Today my cousin Megpie trimmed my hair and gave me bangs...and I swear it looks 100 times better...I needed something different b.c. if I were left alone to do nothing I would have gone to town and had it chopped off which would go against everything I've promised myself...When we were trying to have another baby I told myself I was not going to cut my length off till my 2nd baby's 1st birthday...so seeing Stuart is one 3 months I still got a ways to go..and when it does come time...I'm not sure I'll be ready too..long hair kind of becomes sentimental...if your female and reading this you totally understand...males ..I don't know..
So my Lace has moved to IL and left me behind...lol...husband and free schooling...I would leave anybody behind..b.c. paying school loans blow...anyways..we said we would do skype and I've finally downloaded it... I'm not sure exactly how to use it..but I got it downloaded and found her and nick on it...so its set up and I can see that familiar face anytime I want...i like to everything now and then just text her hi friend..and start talking and we will text half the day just talking...
The baby shower was a hit..and wonderful..cake lady cake and cookies...heaven..it was worth all the work and money to have that cake!... lol...I made a diaper baby for her gift...it was funny...I met some new friends..which is awesome..and ruffled some feathers...that I didn't mind pissin' off but it was certainly not meant to.....oh well :) life is way to short to sweat the small stuff that will be meaningless in years 2 come...try me...
also my little nephew Jude tried coming a month early last night..but good thing Mel got to the doctor and have them give her a shot to stop the contractions...can't wait for that baby to come...as much as I love having my babies..I love spoiling little kids and sending them on their way! :)....can not wait to see that beautiful little boy..keep him and his parents in your prayers...
much love you'll here from me probably on Friday...

I could listen to her Talk to God forever and ever..

This day couldn't come quick enough...I am so ready for the weekend!... I have a busy weekend but I'd rather do that and be with my kids then at work! ;)... 
Stuart has started sleeping in his crib this week and I'll be honest..I'm a little sad about this because he outgrew his bassinet! Every night has been good. I was worried last night because Sondra wasn't asleep and I had to threaten her life but I didn't hear a peep out of her after I put him in there. 
This Sunday we are having Stuart dedicated in church. This is such a important thing to do in my mind. When we had Sondra dedicated it meant a lot me. Changed me a lot. I already had a relationship with God but after I promised him that I would raise my little girl in church it kind of light me on fire for him. Sometimes I feel like my flame might get dim but somehow he puts me in my place and I get back on track. Like last night I had the baby monitor on in Sondra's room and I was listening to her talk and try to cheer. Then all of a sudden she is singing a mish mosh of Sunday School songs lines from this song to another song..and then she started praying. And every Sunday they  sing into my heart and then end it with a prayer. so her singing and then praying at the end I know where she got it. Which, makes me happy! 
The kids going to Sunday school is such a important rite of passage for them. It gives me the building blocks they need someday to recognize what is God and what isn't. When they have those times of being lost and not knowing where they are going- they will have this tug at their heart that I had and I could recognize it was God.. I want that for them...I'm a firm believer in Proverbs 22:6 - Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. 
This weekend is Melissa's Baby shower which is going to be fun!...This is the first "shower" my Sister and Sister in law Kayla has done together..we are pretty good planners thus far and Saturday we will finish everything up...and to top it off..we got "cake lady" cake..which I am supper excited!...(and this is why I am fat b.c. with the sound of "cake Lady" cake excites me")
WARNING!!!WARNING!!!
ANY IF YOUR A MAN OR DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT GOING TO A GYNO DOC- I ADVISE YOU TO STOP READING NOW~ 
I gotta get going b.c. I have my Annual Women's Doctor's Appt..which I hate...but funny story...I swore it was Monday..I got this new planner and all a few weeks ago and yet I didn't write it down...i have had this Appt for a while now since my 6 week check up in July...but I leave work early Monday..get there..sign in.. and I'm sitting there...ready to give her my card b.c. I have different insurance..and then I have a balance I want to pay...and...thats when she says.."Mrs. Clum" (which I'm still not use to hearing"..and I say oh ya me... I go up to the window..and she looks at me and smiles and says "You know your not supposed to be here till Thursday right???"...and I smile and I ask if there is any way I could get fit in..b.c I'm mortified to go back to work ...lol.. and she says "no..Medina isn't in today"..and I look at her and say "Its a pap".. and then thinking to myself "is it that hard to do that another doc can't do it or one of your docs in training!!!" lol..and then say "is there anyway one of the other doctors could do it".. but of course not... so I gotta be leaving in a little bit... so I guess I was just so over zealous to go get that done Monday...its was bad I forgot to shave my legs that Sunday night and I woke up Monday in a hurry made Jake get the kids ready while I shaved my legs...b.c. I can not be that lady that has crazy hairy legs to go to her Lady doctor!... i just can't.. its a yearly thing..you would think one day out of the year I could be on top of it..but nope! But one encouraging note.. I shave my legs last night so I was on top of it today!  
Much Love

Bella on saturday when me and sondra were messin with the horses!

Mystery unto Bella

So with the weather cooling down I miss my horse Mystery probably the most since she has been gone. I have always felt akward still do..I'm an akward person but when I am with Mystery or was riding Mystery it was right. I didn't think about it. I can't explain it...Having your own horse that you truly put in that work and spend hours, days, years with ---then you would understand... Horses are unlike any other creatures and My Mystery...she was one of those one and a millon horses... she gave me so much confidence as a rider...and handicapped me just the simple fact that I'm not comfortable on other horses...I can not tell you the last time I have rode another horse... its been years.when you ride a horse your putting your life into their hands hoofs :)..horses aren't machines that do things on command..and to be so comfortable and don't think about it..that is trust.and that is what I had with her.. Mystery died May 21, 2010...one month b4 Stuart was born. It always seemed like she always got hurt on special days. And when it happened it was like an out of body experice. Like this sounds bad but when people told me how badly they felt or felt sorry when she died to me I felt some resentmeant when they weren't horse people-I don't know. Like I thought how do they even know how it feels to lose her. I'm still processing it and still have moments that I just get overwhelmed with the fact that she isn't out there in the pasture. And my cousin has a horse that looks a lot like her when she was younger and it kind just takes my breath away when I look out real quick and think there she is..and then go wait thats Takota... Mystery will always have a place in my heart...
I'm trying to do my best though... I'm really trying to work with my new baby Bella- its almost like I'm cheating on Mystery...Bella is real lovely.. hard to catch but once we get her on a lead she is good...she hasn't really made up to me yet..she is going to be harder to then Mystery was...but she is my project and goal... I need to prove to myself that I do have what it takes...I have got the knowledge but got to put in the work...

My Favorite Day Thursday!

Thursday is my favorite day...
1. Its donut day at work!! Yes donut day! Work gets us donuts today....I get paid on Thursday you would think we would call it Payday..nope its "Donut Day"...that never crosses my mind until new employees sometimes laugh at that..
2. Its the day before the longest work day of the week..It seems to go faster I swear and I get giddy for friday b.c. Friday the last day of the week... which means weekend..= I get to be with My Family all weekend... I get to be a Momma all day to my kiddos..as much as I love Amanda watching my kids...I love taking care of my kids....

This week I have been trying to get my house cleaned up and organized and all that.. I've got a good bit of it done but there is just so much flippin' laundry!~... There is so much excess..I think its time to purge the excess out!....
Tonight is Women's Fellowship which I like going to..The women of my Church get together and we have a good time... I'm going batty a bit though just b.c. I've volunteered to put together the Retreat this year which its not until March but ya know.. I want to get things organized and ready so we are not running like crazy people when it does roll around... I have a good group that will be helping and doing things..I just am afraid I"ll forget something and then It will be my fault...my full prof plan is to have meetings every month and discuss what is going on..the meetings start next month!..
Babysitting Tuesday was so much fun! They are such witty & smart kids... I know Kari said they might test me more next week but I think they are nothing I can't handle w/all the experience i have growing up with foster care...I want to do special things each week.. whether its baking something together or anything I don't know..I'm thinking..But somehow I want to impact these kids or leave a impression on them..
I gotta go..Jess just dropped the kids off to me at work..
much love~!

My little cowboy on Sunday

Modern Day Mary Poppins ;)

Weekend was really great. Stuart's first Friday Night Football and Mustangs Won! Happy Happy Joy Joy.. Saturday was spent in town & then watched the Bucks w/Andrea, Joel, & Andy..much fun....Sunday went good too.. although I could use more kids in my class it is still worth it even if it just one kid I'm teaching..
Tonight after I get off work I'm going and babysitting 5 kids plus my own...so much fun...this should last 12 weeks...I'm excited. I'm going to use the money to buy myself a iPod Touch... I want one!.. Bad... You can just call me a modern day Mary Poppins! ...
Stuart rolled over yesterday for the first time.. I am so proud of him..He is such a little talker.. I'm so in love with him like I am with Sondra...When he was first born I just looked at this baby and thought how will I ever have as much love for him as I do for my girl. But I do..Your heart when a second baby comes along with out a doubt does grow.. I'm in love with this little man and I can't handle it..I love to hold him and cuddle with him... and he just smiles and laughs at me. He is such a precious gift from God.. and totally worth the wait...
Gotta get going... Much Love..