IndifferenceINsharing/Surprise3rdBaby/schoolnewbeginings/MyGirl

I can not tell you how many unpublished blogs I have started these last few weeks....many countless ones that begin with Why? What is wrong with me? Why wouldn't you trust me? Or God is this really for us? You are not going to present this and then let us fail... Can I do this..Can We? What am I doing? Am I really making a difference? Why can't she see me for who I am? all these thoughts that I don't know how to share..with really anyone..

as you are going to probably from this blog...I don't exactly have my happy face on... People piss me off in general..I don't always show it or you don't always here my commentary about it but. when people I love hurt me..pisses me off even more... I have these big dilemmas and games of what ifs..and talk extensively about it to Jake(which he just LOVES..hint hint sarcasm).. or my Mom or Jess...then talk to my best friends and ask for wisdom.. prayer... and then I get to a point where I'm just plain unchristian... I don't give a shit.. there are only a few things that can make me that way...and it feels like people have been pushing those precious buttons a few time here lately..I don't know what to say?... I'm not apologetic....Just maybe Pray for me and my sanity.

What is New??? Hmm...

Welll I'm not lying to you this post or nor was I trying to my last post..but We SHOULD be closing on our house this week! :) Makes me happy excited and ready! I wanna see what needs fixing and get it done and get to moving... Moving to this house will be so much better!

Our Yago

With all this moving we had been looking for a puppy... much to our dismay any pups we wanted was far too much... We want a pup I wanted a Australian shepherd Jake wanted a border Collie... and from all the breeders you are looking at least 500 for either breed....wow? SO then we expanded our serach on the county classifieds..which some how I got to Petfinder.com...We found this Border Collie/Aussie Shep Mix...it was a female and looked just like a Collie..We called and she already had a few applications...  She sugguested we come and see what puppies are left and which ones have less applications...so I found all the puppies on line...and wrote down a few of the names I liked...there were 7 in the litter...when we got to the shelter last saturday..the one we had chance of getting..Yago!...which we was my first pick...lol.... which after filling out the application and putting references lol..I know right... very intruding...but for the price...I was willing to do it..and this place wasn't as bad as some places..some places required home visits lol... bahahahahaha.... for a freaking dog!!! lol..I'm all about making sure they are okay people..but a home visit??? wow...anyways...the following week on Wednesday we got news we were approved!!!! How great!...so that night we planned on to go get him... well on the way there we decided if we were going to change his name we had to figure it out now.... Jake wanted Shadow and Sondra wanted Spot...how original..they are so much a like.. its scary...they wouldn't go for any of my names...which at one point Sondra says: "Mom- none of your ideas are making sense to me"..with Jake's reply"Sondra I think that all the time"...lol..so we all agreed just to leave his name.. Yago!...lol..Its up to debate how to pronounce it..but I say "Yay-go"...where Sondra says "Yey GO"...lol... my family has jokes he is a liberal dog since he comes from a Privately Owned Shelter in Columbus... lol... I've quickly realized I've missed having a dog... I talk about him constantly and the funny things he has done... I find myself while I"m outside taking pictures..>I snap of few of him lol..how sad...I'm that crazy Dog Lady... He is so cute... and seriously...minds better than my kids..and has been a breeze to potty train..he isn't fully trained but very minimal mistakes..and rather its been my fault! .... so who knows... I've come to the realization...this is my 3rd child for now :) and I'm a little surprised how much I like him


School is fast approaching...Sondra first full day is September 4th..but the prior week there are 2 days that we have to go there...with School starting a very significant change will be happening... The kids will be going to the Learning Tree Daycare... wow.. it frightens me but in a good way...I'm glad there are a whole bunch of Allen east people that work there so its not like I"m leaving Stu or Sondra with Strangers...it will be just so nice... Sondra will be in the latch key program where they take her to and from School and any delays cancellations she is able to stay there... Stuart will be with a whole bunch of kids which I suspect he may talk more... I'm excited to hear what he is doing who he is making friends with..and the trouble he is making... :)... Even though we will be paying more than what we do now..it will be worth it..I drop them off in morning pick them up after work...perfect location... a business relationship....  Its something Jake & I have been talking about for some time...what started it all was... by chance when I was testifying for a good friend in a custody hearing started talking to one of the directors(she was there to testify for her too) and she was just telling me a little about the place.. and how much it would be..what that included...and just everything..and I thought man I can do that...... so..I'm so excited....scared nervous...but hey...if I find I'm not comfortable with this place...I can find a alternative... Finding childcare is a hard thing...so much factors into it...I hate that someone else spends 8 plus hours a day with my kid- when I am at work..but you know what... I want more... and in order to get the things Jake & I want for our life and family..I"m going to have to work... and sometimes..as little time I have with them..I think that is why I take pictures and smile at the small things they do... I may kid and joke about how much trouble or a bother they are..but I do cherish them and their smiles and the joy they have brought to me and Jake... sometimes we can be in the shittest moods toward each other..but one of the kids just does something or Sondra says something and we just look at each other with a big ole smile and I think to myself...yup .. that's our love right there...

So- with the house was supposed to be closing this week....of all weeks.. Wagon Train Week...we decided to stay home... one to help not spend money..and 2 hopefully we would be closing...well- Sondra talks about Wagon Train year round..so I asked my parents if she could come for the week with them and they said of course...my plans were to send her and see her when she came back...with the house not closing on Wednesday... I am jumping ship and riding with my sister to pick Colt on "funday".... where they stay in camp and plan games and have a catered meal... I just couldn't resist...I've missed that little snot....Its been so funny seeing Stu entertain himself..I put him to bed last night and he puts his hands up and goes "SIS? SIS?" looking over to her bed....aww...he misses her..how cute...I miss her too... especially when Yago wants to potty...lol...

well I must be going!!! Talk to you later!~
Love- ME