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| What Attitude? |
have you ever had a moment or day or week where there is
this central theme going on... lol... no really.. So I have been having a hard
time with Sondra...I'd say about 2 weeks(i looked it was the 10th)I ago I was putting Sondra to bed... she wasn't
wanting to go to bed so she was being moody...and we were upstairs in her room
and she is in bed and I'm saying something who knows really and I turn around
and my back is facing her and out of the corning of my eye I see her mocking
what I just told her to do....
if you knew me you would think my temper got the best of me
and I just hauled off and slapped her right in her face but.... I didn't....
for those three seconds of my back turned to her I had to compose my myself
because I just wanted to die laughing out loud...lol... I think I was shocked
my little girl would do that.. (parents weren't kidding when they say children
get a whole new attitude when they start school)
I turn with a wicked smile just staring at her in her
eyes...and I can see my wicked smile pasted right on her face..like it was cut
and copies in Photoshop And she knew
that I knew what she had just "secretly" done... So I started in how
she was in trouble. I told her how I didn't like being mean but the things that
she did she forced me to be mean. I told her how I wanted to be her best friend
but I HAD to be her Mommy first. And Mommies are not always nice. and simply
how disrespectful she was for doing that behind my back. And I left it at that.
I went down stairs for some ME time...and about 20 minutes later she comes down
visibly upset and tells me how she just feels like she wants to cry...my reply
Well you should be..You really disappointed me.
She turns around walking up the stairs crying.... I heard
her crying for about 15 to 20 minutes... I really think it was for
theatrics...but maybe she really was sorry.... I want to believe that but after
last night's Attitude Attack...
so fast forward to Monday...
I'm on my way after work to go pick up the kids from
daycare..and George Strait's song A love without end Amen...
I cry... I simply cry... not because of Sondra..or Stu...
but just at the simple truth of a parent's love covers all...
Wednesday night at the dinner table refers to me as
"big fat cow"??... b.c. I told her she wasn't allowed to have 3rds of
baked potatoes..... Which Jake took care of that quickly..telling her she would
not talk about his wife like that or to her Mom like that... I'm really not
sure what it was about...I'm not sure if she really gets how hurtful it is to
call people fat or big...
Alright.. then this week on Tuesday my brother in law posts a blog about love. I
didn't find it till Thursday... it just
was pretty much exactly how I was feeling how he was talking about how he loved
his daughter even though she doesn't "give" him anything or do
"nothing" for him.... I thought about it and more....
Since their conception I have loved my kids whole heartily
.I think most parents probably have that feeling... but I feel like and believe I would do
anything for my children... But man Lately... Sondra gives me this
attitude....she can act so bad...and she is a brat... (I can say that....depending
who you are...I could slash your eyes out if you ever mention either of my kids
being a brat).... ..but man she has had these bratitudes(I'm coining that phase
for the next 15 years)..and I love her... her acting this was way lately... it
kind of makes me how much I do love her.... Its a odd feeling... kind of makes
me realize how much my parents love me..even when I was Younger and dumber and
done dumb stuff..not just being a Snotty little brat...
So then- I'm driving home yesterday to get the kids and I
hear Jason Michael Carroll's "Hurry
Home."... the chorus is :
"It doesn't matter what you've done, I still love youIt
doesn't matter where you've been, you can still come homeAnd honey if it's you,
we've got a lot of making up to doAnd I can't hug you on the phone, so hurry
home"
I probably can't even anticipate the things my children may
do....knowing their father they will give me gray hair far sooner then I should
have..knowing my mischievous ways..I'm going to look 100 years old by my 40th
birthday...but man...I will always love my children. There will never be a day
that I don't love my children. Their names are on my lips every prayer I
pray... I want nothing but the best for them and firmly believe in the power of
a mother's prayers...
So last night... I had to take my kids to women's
fellowship..and as we are getting ready to leave... I tell Sondra to go get her
coat boots IDK...and she looks at me and says I'm quoting here: "Blah blah
blah blah" cocking her head from side to side...
our eyes lock... and she starts swiftly to the kitchen with
me following... well..my tempter got to me... I smacked her mouth a couple
times...and tell her she "will not talk to me like that"..and that
she is going to bed early for being bad...
we eventually get into the car... and I ask Stuart what he
wants to do while Sissy goes to bed early....she is wailing she is sorry!
sorry! sorry!... (she doesn't realize that sorry don't get out of her
consequences) ..... but honestly... after i sat down at home after Stu was in
bed.. I just thought about being a parent..and Sondra really disappointed me
tonight but it just made me think of more ways to figure out where this is
coming....I know where she gets her smart mouth.....woohoo..its my smart
mouth... and I really need to watch how I talk around her...I may not be
cussing..but I'm teaching her a smart mouth... hmm...children really are a
product of their parents... heh...but... I'm really going to work on always being respectful to everyone and
show her a good example... but as mad as I have gotten at her this week or 2..
seems like Jesus was putting little encouragements here and there and reminding
of a father's love... reminded me how much I disappointed him and he always
loved me...
But my concern is other people... I don't want people not to
like Sondra b.c. she is a "brat"...I just hope people realize or know
that its a phase where Sondra is figuring out what is socially acceptable..and
she is testing her limits... and if for some reason she puts a Bratitude
towards you or when I'm not around and your with her...please let me know..b.c.
Sondra and I or her father will have a talk about it...like her mother...
talking of disappointments does far worse than any physical punishments...
So watch out world... My smart mouthed Sondra is on the loose....
PS I'm so sorry about leaving you hanging for a whole
month..please forgive me... Christmas was crazy
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