scatter brain....STu the big boy...mean mom ...

I have joined the Iphone world via Iphone 4 (free one) 

Its been harder to get used to then I thought...anybody that owns a Iphone4 know how to make a group that I can just pull up whenever to send a mass text too. I text prayer requests and I can't figure out how to create a group... They are nice though... I like mine...

My days have been kept busy... why or why? this Tball shit...grr...am I the only parent in the world not to be excited about their kid getting into something...like...I'm happy for her..and excited for her..but this sucks...(bad mother thought)... well I know I'm not...last Saturday at her Tball game..ya SATURDAY @9AM...ya.. another mother on the other team comes up (one of my best friends from middle/high school)...and she went on to rant how she thought tball was stupid and blah blah blah...lol..I just kept smiling b.c. One..this is normal..or 2.. this is why we were such good friends in school... I wish we did more together... jeeze..I need slow down...or really..God can you just add 8 more hours into a day..or maybe..me be able to not have to work every stinking day?!?!?!?...

Mother's Day was good ....I got special things that they made a school........here is a picture of a questionnaire that Stuart answered about me:

as a mother I've realized I've lacked here lately... didn't realize it but I'm too hard on my oldest.... or more appropriately I'm mean to her.... I can tell you since Stuart turned 2 I have tended to lose it more..there are times that I just say kids get up to your room and stay up there till I call you down for supper lol.....or maybe its so noticeable because I've wanted to treat Stuart and baby him as much as I did Sondra..so it looks or feels like I am harder on her more... she is 5...6 next month... there are things and situations that I expect her to behave....I wonder what will happen when we add to our family next...will I be shipped off to the crazy place??.. :).. so please keep me in your prayers..for my sanity....

Here is some Awesome News.....STUART IS SEMI POTTY TRAINED.....and I was so excited to wake up to Stuart crying asking his Dad to pull up his pants at 4am in the morning last night ... he actually woke up and felt like he had to potty and he came down! :)... was it on purpose..I hope so :) ..he ended up sleeping in bed with me for the rest of the morning.. :).. the whole pooping thing he hasn't got down at all...at daycare he hasn't had any accidents this week..probably today sense I just shared none....but you know what did it??... instead of asking him if he wanted to wear big pants I told him You are putting your underwear on and instead of asking him if he wanted to potty.....I say its time to try..and if he says no..I don't give him that option.I then reward him with a stick and after 8 stickers he gets a price(which is cheap 99cent toys out of a bag)....now..I don't have to ask him to potty when he is outside..he loves to pee on random things..whether they are dead or alive... :)... hopefully this keeps up...I'm telling you..its the biggest parental hurdle for me... what does that say about me?? lol...

I wanted to say.. my IAMSECOND sunday school class has been going good...ya..I'm a bit disappointed..but there are a few kids that are actually being honest and giving good input... I guess I kind of forgot how uncool it is to be truly authentic when your Jr/High school...or maybe how truly hard it is to be authentic... I don't know whether this is a success or a fail...I've lead it pretty much...we have a promise if we reach 22 people in our class next Sunday we will bring juice and donuts the following class.... :)..its the little things...our class likes the donuts...


also- my diet... I've lost over 10 pounds :)...I wish it were more...but I'm not doing radical things to lose weight...bc I won't be able to continue it..so I'm doing little things..switching stuff up...I'm not sure how I will do this week..I kinda fell of the wagon Sunday by making homemade pizza and have had a hard time getting focused .... pray...yes pray again..

well... I will be going.... please pray for me... I have a few decisions to think about and make.. please pray for wisdom and guidance...

The Ball Was in my court!!!...Weekend Update Plans

Howdy!
Have you ever heard the voice of God????
We discussed God's Guidance last Wednesday in bible study...when someone asked have you ever heard God's Voice.....hmm...I thought... well.. I can say I feel like I have recognized where God has guided me to situations... Where God has put certain people in my life.... But have I ever truly heard God's voice speak to me?? Wow...which I have really really thought about that... for the past few weeks... our bible study moves at a slower pace..so we have been talking about this subject last two weeks....so last weekend on our way to this dog clinic - bible study had got me thinking... if you know us..you know it is in our future to adopt... I know it will happen..Not soon enough for me I don't think..but I know it will happen...but we had this friend that need a lot of our support...I considered this friend family... well the friend had a 3rd baby on the way... and she was barely surviving with the 2...so I would here from her every so often it seemed like the last year we kept in touch b.c. she would call when she needed something...well..I get this call out of the blue...and she tells me how she is so embarrassed she is pregnant again..she don't know how far but she tried getting "rid" of it but couldn't follow through and what not...and asked me if Jake & I would adopt the baby when it was born.... I don't know what I was thinking...but I just said the first thing that came out of my mouth... No. I told her there were many many programs out there that would help her find a family for the baby and help her get back on her feet. That we didn't know what our future held and she told me she couldn't trust anybody taking the baby...and I said one way or another... then you need to keep this baby..you already have 2...this 3rd one someday will come looking for you. how will this baby feel when he/she realizes you kept his/her brother and sister...

it was probably one of the hardest conversations I've ever had in my life..I didn't tell anybody till a couple days passed by... In my mind this friend needed some tough love...you might not think that but if you knew the full details...it was time for tough love... I didn't hear from her till after the baby was born..and I was surprised to hear her say thank you to me..for my support?????..lol..okay.. I thought surly I did the right thing... I only seen her a couple times after that... the kids eventually landed in foster care..and she ended up giving that 3rd child up for adoption....

When we talked about God's guidance these past 2 weeks...the first thing came in my mind was...did God allow me to know this person so that I could help her and she help me?...Did I ignore his direction..looking back it was the perfect situation...we could have avoided a "agency" fee... and all that crap...but what held me back?? I didn't want her to be in the picture. The baby we  adopt someday..that baby will  be our flesh and blood..he/she will be a clum..I wouldn't want the "mother" to still be in the picture.... BUT NOW looking back I should have....when I try to reach out to this person every so often..I'm ignored....I worry...I pray for her and all of her children... I just have this strong feeling- I dropped the ball and should have told her...Let me think about this and I'll call you in a few days...  that has been on my mind a lot lately. God has given me a strong desire to adopt... it will happen..all in due time....

This weekend????? Tonight shopping in Findlay .. Tomorrow Jude/Dane's pictures...Sunday... Sydney's 1st birthday!!!... how fun how fun.... and this is a slow weekend for us..lol...don't seem real slow huh?...

much love..
keep me in your prayers... our church has a group down in Haiti right now too..so keep them in your prayers too!!!

also WW...I've been losing at a very slow pace...something has got to give!...Jake Has done wonderful...I've heard he looks like a "skeleton"...grrr...my whole thing was I didn't want to be his "fat wife"....I want to be his hot wife..lol...oh well... please pray for my will power to keep on this..its a lifestyle change that I am trying to make!

Love you
JOie