The Ball Was in my court!!!...Weekend Update Plans

Howdy!
Have you ever heard the voice of God????
We discussed God's Guidance last Wednesday in bible study...when someone asked have you ever heard God's Voice.....hmm...I thought... well.. I can say I feel like I have recognized where God has guided me to situations... Where God has put certain people in my life.... But have I ever truly heard God's voice speak to me?? Wow...which I have really really thought about that... for the past few weeks... our bible study moves at a slower pace..so we have been talking about this subject last two weeks....so last weekend on our way to this dog clinic - bible study had got me thinking... if you know us..you know it is in our future to adopt... I know it will happen..Not soon enough for me I don't think..but I know it will happen...but we had this friend that need a lot of our support...I considered this friend family... well the friend had a 3rd baby on the way... and she was barely surviving with the 2...so I would here from her every so often it seemed like the last year we kept in touch b.c. she would call when she needed something...well..I get this call out of the blue...and she tells me how she is so embarrassed she is pregnant again..she don't know how far but she tried getting "rid" of it but couldn't follow through and what not...and asked me if Jake & I would adopt the baby when it was born.... I don't know what I was thinking...but I just said the first thing that came out of my mouth... No. I told her there were many many programs out there that would help her find a family for the baby and help her get back on her feet. That we didn't know what our future held and she told me she couldn't trust anybody taking the baby...and I said one way or another... then you need to keep this baby..you already have 2...this 3rd one someday will come looking for you. how will this baby feel when he/she realizes you kept his/her brother and sister...

it was probably one of the hardest conversations I've ever had in my life..I didn't tell anybody till a couple days passed by... In my mind this friend needed some tough love...you might not think that but if you knew the full details...it was time for tough love... I didn't hear from her till after the baby was born..and I was surprised to hear her say thank you to me..for my support?????..lol..okay.. I thought surly I did the right thing... I only seen her a couple times after that... the kids eventually landed in foster care..and she ended up giving that 3rd child up for adoption....

When we talked about God's guidance these past 2 weeks...the first thing came in my mind was...did God allow me to know this person so that I could help her and she help me?...Did I ignore his direction..looking back it was the perfect situation...we could have avoided a "agency" fee... and all that crap...but what held me back?? I didn't want her to be in the picture. The baby we  adopt someday..that baby will  be our flesh and blood..he/she will be a clum..I wouldn't want the "mother" to still be in the picture.... BUT NOW looking back I should have....when I try to reach out to this person every so often..I'm ignored....I worry...I pray for her and all of her children... I just have this strong feeling- I dropped the ball and should have told her...Let me think about this and I'll call you in a few days...  that has been on my mind a lot lately. God has given me a strong desire to adopt... it will happen..all in due time....

This weekend????? Tonight shopping in Findlay .. Tomorrow Jude/Dane's pictures...Sunday... Sydney's 1st birthday!!!... how fun how fun.... and this is a slow weekend for us..lol...don't seem real slow huh?...

much love..
keep me in your prayers... our church has a group down in Haiti right now too..so keep them in your prayers too!!!

also WW...I've been losing at a very slow pace...something has got to give!...Jake Has done wonderful...I've heard he looks like a "skeleton"...grrr...my whole thing was I didn't want to be his "fat wife"....I want to be his hot wife..lol...oh well... please pray for my will power to keep on this..its a lifestyle change that I am trying to make!

Love you
JOie

Summer please come..Reds Date...TballDrama...PracticeMakes Perfect..Dog Clinic

the weather right has been so wonderful...I have been grabbing for my camera a lot here lately... this one is fly.... she is a pretty dog...I've been playing in light room and edited this in that...I've actually got  a couple people I'm going to be taking pictures of here real soon...my adorable nephews Dane/Jude and then Syd's... how fun... then before I know it.... the Triplets for their 9 month pictures... so fun so fun..

So- this past weekend Jake, Sondra, and Me went to a Red's game with another couple. Jake is friends with the husband through wrestling...and over this past year or so...they have been better and better friends...I'm this close (holding out my thumb and index finger merely millimeters apart) to calling him his "boyfriend".. lol..JK... but Jake a few weeks ago asked if me if I wanted to go to a reds game with them..and I thought oh ya okay...then as it got closer I was a wee bit nervous... I didn't really know the couple and their daughter..I hope they are easy to get along with..you know just because to 2 men get a long doesn't mean..I'll automatically get a long with the wife or Sondra the daughter...well..thankfully we did...it was a lot of fun and we left with promises to get together again!...

Also...does it make me a bad parent I was so happy/excited that Sondra's TBall practice was cancelled lastnight! lol... Tball has started..I've been excited... not very excited...happy...sad... and feelings of caged too... When Sondra was a baby we talked about the future and how we would chose things of our children... As far as sports.. of course if the kids wanted to we would more than oblige....but lately its been well what sports will the kids be playing..I myself.. didn't want to go the TBALL route...I watched my fair share of Colt's Tball games ...and thought..man..I don't want to do that.. They sit..pick flowers...whine...don't pay attention...I actually want the kids to play soccer...they will run A LOT...but that is like a "SIN" in my family... lol.. especially if Stuart played..but man..you have to be physically fit to play it.either way...I'm going to encourage Sondra to play... my opinion on Stu is..let his father decide... another thing that has come up....

Sunday night a few Sundays ago I get a voice mail from Sondra's coach's wife..telling me Wednesday is Sondra's first practice at 6:30. Wednesday???????aaahhh.. the one thing I don't want... So I call back letting her know when Sondra's birthday is..and ask if EVERY practice would be on Wednesday because we have church that night...she told me only a few practices would be and I felt assured it would be okay....then..when we got her schedule ya there were only a couple practices on Wednesday .but the majority of her games are Mondays and Wednesdays....ggrrrrr.... I hate this part... I love going to bible study... so the first Wednesday practice... we decided one of us would stay with her and the other would take Stu to bible study...well I lucked out b.c. Jake helped the coach and I think will keep helping the coach during practices..so that means I'll get to go to bible study..but man..when games start..I'm not exactly sure what we will do..I don't want to miss Bible study...but also I don't want to miss Sondra playing... The other Moms have told me that games last about a hour...so that means I could go to bible study late... I hate that I have to decide between the 2…I wish I lived about 50-60 years ago where it wasn't a question whether anything else would be happening Wednesday night besides church…

I've been practicing more and more with my camera... 

I was at a stand still at work a few minutes...so... I practiced on messing with aperture in my pictures...

Tomorrow Jake & I are going away for the weekend. We are taking Jake's dog Fly to a clinic..Its where we bought her from...Fly has made leaps and bounds since the last one day clinic we went too..its amazing..she can't wait to go outside to work the sheep..and she has gotten more and more open to people...so tomorrow we will be there Saturday and Sunday .. it should be a good time...Sondra is staying with my parents and Stuart with Aunt Brittany & Uncle Jordan...it will be a nice time away...we need that.. :)... 

This past year..we have realized that we need some away time where I'm not worrying about the kids..or Jake about what he needs to get done... we are much happier people to be around when we are alloted that. 

Miss Sondra has freckles... and beautiful eye lashes... :)

well I must be going..I'm off to a dentist appointment eee....its me Jake and Sondra's turn for a teeth cleaning! 

see you later :)

            

WW Update.SecondHand

Who is that skinny couple??? 

mannn... what the hell happened to me????????? lol... okay... I can say..I'm not fairly judging myself I guess.. thats me at 18 years old... at our wedding rehearsal .. but seeing this picture the other day as we were going through old pictures at Jake's parents house at Easter Dinner..made me smile.. man not to be conceited.. I had a decent body..at the time I didn't believe that though..I was gaining weight up to the wedding..I felt like the "fat girl"..but seeing this photo..I wasn't the fat girl... I just had curves lol..
The last time I did WW..I wanted to lose weight... I really did..but I still wanted to eat whatever... if you know me..you know I love to eat...  SO..its not a far stretch me not wanting to stick with WW the first go around... or people had their doubts...

So we started on Monday- and everything was good. Its all been a pretty good experience... I family friend messaged me with encouragement and told me how she does WW and a tip how she weighs in on Fridays so if she eats bad on the weekends then she can work extra hard during the week...hearing that I decided man...that is a good idea...I'm most weakest on the weekend... so lets do that....we weighed in on Friday before we went out to eat with the Dues.... We lost in 5 days Respectively Jake: 7.5 Me: 4.5.... I hate men...I hate how men loose weight so easily... rrrrrr... but there was relief there... we lost weight...Jake was a bit skeptical..of this "point" system and all that...Me..I know it works.... So over the weekend we ate in the evening out on Friday at Texas road house... Saturday.. The Schwartz and then Sunday at the Massies... my worst night..probably Texas road house... I was over my points on Sunday...I tried really hard too... lol...like Jake's last week... this is my skeptical week...he is all about just losing weight...he is very competitive .. me on the other hand...my last go around with WW I just wanted to lose the weight and not change...this time... I've been conscious of portion control... I'm eating salad...salad... lol...really its not that I don't "like" salad...I just wouldn't normally go out of my way to eat it...so I've been having salad for lunch these days..having a nice dinner...or vice a versa... so..this week... I was bad on the weekend dinners..and sticking to the system through the week...this weigh in if I lose weight..I'll be a bit relieved...

I'm so happy about this warm weather...so happy... me and Sondra went on a walk monday to the corner.... which I hope to be doing that a lot more and farther.I need a walking partner...Jess has to get moved over here and pop that baby out... since it has been warming up... we have been out side a lot this week..and its daunting looking at our back yard and seeing all the work clean up we will have to do... Honestly we didn't even know the back looked so bad because the grass was so tall and weeded...thank you to the sheep to cleaning it up...I'm also on a mission to acquire some outdoor toys for the kids b.c. this summer they will be home all day and I don't want them inside watching TV all day...I'm looking for "play house"... and should have a swing set..we just gotta go to Dayton I'm thinking to pick it up..  we have plenty of riding toys actually... and I'm not sure what else... I just would like to give the kids options..

Another thing is... I love to sit on the porch in the evening... I really want to find a patio set... I can't go out and buy anything right now..so I'm going to have to look at garage sales or ask around to people who want to get rid of their old ones... that's kind of the beauty of me... I like like second hand things..old things...things that people no longer want... its like clothes(just ask my friend Andrea)... I've never had a problem taking hand-me downs from anybody... I think it is a great thing to keep things useful and not stored away or discarded.... so that being said... if you know someone that is throwing out or wanting to get rid of a patio table or chairs let me know...

Seeing the weather the way it is right now..hopefully it clears up...I've got a hunny do list for outside..and it won't happen if its raining!...

I shall be seeing you guys later :)

IAMSECOND/SUMMER BREAK/MEANGIRLSCLUB/WW IS BACK

how do I prepare my heart to start this new "study" for Sunday school? its "I am Second"... with much rigidness... and resistance I have finally got the class and Jake to start a real "structured" lesson plan...my biggest fear...what if they aren't touched at all by these lessons...and testimonies?.... SO... please keep me in your prayers... pray that the students have a open heart and mind to this... and for God to give me words they need to hear and have answers for any question these kids may ask... :)

I have had a good week...Monday and Tuesday my cousin babysat the kids because Sondra was off school for Easter Break....OOHH wait a sec..."Spring Break"...anyways..it was kinda nice..not having to get the kids up and dressed because she was coming there to sit...I can't wait for summer :)

Tuesday... a long lost best friend Krista was in town... a few of us girls got together at Lachas..as I drove there- I thought to myself..I'm off to go get made fun of from a group of mean girls lol... that was tweet worthy...I don't think a lot of people really get me...but these girls... oh my...I'm home..they crack me up.. we are horrible... I"m not kidding..some of my most horrific ...embarrassing moments in high school..came from the hands of them lol...  ya...some friends...but I got there a little after 5:30 and didn't walk out till past 8:30...we didn't stop talking... but when Krista comes home in June..we have plans to get together for a bachelorette party....maybe real..maybe pretend lol...

if you friends with me on pinterest you know by now...judging by my recent pins..I've started Weight Watchers again ..eehh...truthfully...seeing old pictures is my motivation... :)... so why will it work now??.. I've got my man's support...he is on WW too with me... We weighed in on Monday... we are doing this from home... but we weighed in...he even seen the scale..and he is still alive and still with me... I have high hopes for myself...my first goal...lose 10 pounds... :)...

Well I must be going... I'll update again...

THIS IS STUART BEHAVING IN CHURCH... THIS IS THE ONLY TIME STUART BEHAVES... 

1- 8 ..2 in one week..how scary...

1. My Heart broke a little bit yesterday. We were pulling into our driveway and I asked Sondra to get Stu unbuckled. She couldn't do it..couldn't do it..Stu wasn't helping... and Sondra gives up..and Sondra goes: Well that sucks.....deep breath.... Sondra honey what did you say??... I said socks mom.....no you didn't Sondra... and then I explained to her that I didn't want to hear that word out of her mouth. It wasn't a "bad" word ..but little kids don't say that.....that is another word I will have to refrain from saying b.c. I can't really say if I say it around her or not...School.... that is the one thing I don't like that started since school. She knew she shouldn't say it... its like the Oh my God thing... I caught her saying it..we talked about it...and a few weeks later she said it and quickly corrected herself because she realized I was listening... hmm...

2. I've been listening to Bruno Mars all day..is there something that man CAN'T sing??? oh my... love it...

3. I did have to smile yesterday after I picked the kids up from Daycare and she was all excited to show me her seed she grew...I asked her what she was growing and she said a Sunflower...and I smiled and said you know that was Grandma's Favorite...her reply is... Yeah Mom I know..that's why my name is Sondra... lol..she then explained to me how her kids will name their daughter Sondra...lol :)... I made her agree she would name a daughter after her Beautiful Mother though lol...

4. Stuart..my little guy Stuart....he still isn't any closer to going potty...I have a urge just to put him in Underwear no matter what in the evening.... I just might do that tonight...I know its me..he does pretty well at school and he is wearing a pull up... they are consistent there...schedule...

5. Lately- with all these babies being born and all these babies still coming I've had so many inquiries of well your next aren't you???...I just smile...for once in my life...I don't want to cry when being questioned as to when that next one is coming...after Sondra when I got it..I just wanted to scream...WE ARE WORKING ON IT! BUT ITS NOT HAPPENING!....but these days...I laugh at the question... if God were to decide we needed a baby sooner then what we thought it would be great/fine/perfect...but my Dream is to adopt... I don't know if it is because I grew up in a "diverse" family... but its just something I need to do... I'd prefer a baby/toddler...but my big "wishlist" would to adopt through Nightlight Christian Adoptions: Snowflake Adoption Program... http://www.nightlight.org/snowflake-embryo-adoption/... I am lucky enough to have Jake on board...some people can be funny about adopting like they aren't your real family..passing your name on....but that is absurd.... my only problem.. with the snowflake adoption program fees is  : 12,000 to 16,000... and that don't include the medical fees to get eggs transferred into me...home study... :)... so more than likely... we'll go the old route of traditional adoption...but if I had a pile money laying around..or if all of a sudden it started raining money...that is what I would choose...

6. I have been blessed with some good people... My best friend's mom and dad were getting rid of their corn burner and luckily enough we were able to get it..I can't wait for it to be installed :)...It was just so funny... they are so giving always... we can not leave that house without a bag full of snacks...stopping over there last Friday to drop off money for the corn burner... and leaving with a bag full of goodies and drinks...it just made me miss my friend... immediately had to text her.....really thinking about it...my 2 best friends have great parents that are so nice to my family... I"m a lucky gal...I don't need a lot of best friends...because the 2 I got are pretty dear to me.. miss you girls

7.  This is out there..but you know...this is Easter week... tonight will begin our holy week services...and the one thing that I can't get out of my head of annoyance..especially today..is all this publicity of homosexual marriage...so many people's status' are about Marriage Equality ...or the opposite ..A Marriage should be between a Man and a woman...its just "annoying"...Truthfully...my stance..I'm a born again Christian..... I'm a conservative you know my answer..I just find it annoying its so much in focus right now...I don't care to read about it or listen...

8. well I must be going...bye :)  

House/Pumpkin/2nd and ECT

How have you been??? I've got some things to say! :)

1. I'm sorry it has been so long..I can't even remember what I last blogged about but I'm sure I promised to post photos of the house...and obviously I never have and Obviously I'll probably promise at the end of this blog too and honestly I have no intentions of doing so...maybe in June..I plan on having a BBQ for the kid's birthday dinners and invite both sides of family over...that's when I'll get my house clean from head to toe..like I did for my 31 party I have in November.... My house isn't crazy messy like it always was in Lafayette...its just not what I want shown on the interest for all ages :)....

2. Just so you...My pumpkin Kitchen hasn't worn off...I love it and only wish I had more and more pumpkin things to put out...so much so I'm already thinking of ideas for my next pumpkin kitchen in our next house we plan to build after a while on the property.... ooohh yyaa..

3. Work has been good... I've been kept very busy... so I like that...I like to look down at the clock and think wow...how did it get to be 3:30 already!?

4. was interrupted by a truck driver....rrrr...he was a real smart ass too... hmm...this is why every night before I fall asleep I pray that I do my best to be pleasant to everyone there...and to shine a light....rrr..just now I wasn't exactly shining my light...but it was lit... just not real real bright..I held my tongue...that's a improvement..

5. During bible study a few weeks ago...we were talking about I don't know...but someone brought up the book "The Case For Christ"..and immediately brought me back to Sunday school... when my sister was my Sunday school teacher... and we did lessons over that book.... but it got me thinking later that night..of all my Sunday school teachers... I can remember each of them..things that I associate with them... what touched my life... how they helped me to learn certain things... but it started to make me think...what kind of teacher am I?...I haven't ever really felt called to teach...I volunteered b.c. there was a need for a teacher...I volunteered again b.c. I needed to be sure I was going to have our kid's in Sunday school..so if you teach...there is in my mind a lot of obligation of attending.... is that bad?? who knows... but while I got to thinking it kind of inspired me to research what more we could do...is there something unique that we could do a lesson over??? the next day I poured over all kinds of small group studies... looking at the prices...looking at how long they lasted then oddly enough I followed a link to www.iamsecond.com.... ooh my.. I watched my first video and had goosebumps...its just so real... these people basically telling their testimony...and its real... I thought..this is what we should do... there are ordinary people extraordinary people and celebrities too... I'm just really excited for this to start... we do our first part the sunday after easter... and I know the kid's won't be as excited or happy to do this as me lol...but for once in my life...I am feeling called...I'm feeling called to be a better sunday school teacher..and to make a impact on my "church" kids...

6. School Is moving fast... it makes me sick..Sondra's first year of Kindergarten is closer to being over than starting...eeehh

7. I'll update more later...this is going to be a priority..I miss just throwing my emotions and feelings out... Until Next time :)

Sondratutde and her Bratitude...

What Attitude?

have you ever had a moment or day or week where there is this central theme going on... lol... no really.. So I have been having a hard time with Sondra...I'd say about 2 weeks(i looked it was the 10th)I  ago I was putting Sondra to bed... she wasn't wanting to go to bed so she was being moody...and we were upstairs in her room and she is in bed and I'm saying something who knows really and I turn around and my back is facing her and out of the corning of my eye I see her mocking what I just told her to do....

if you knew me you would think my temper got the best of me and I just hauled off and slapped her right in her face but.... I didn't.... for those three seconds of my back turned to her I had to compose my myself because I just wanted to die laughing out loud...lol... I think I was shocked my little girl would do that.. (parents weren't kidding when they say children get a whole new attitude when they start school)

I turn with a wicked smile just staring at her in her eyes...and I can see my wicked smile pasted right on her face..like it was cut and copies in Photoshop  And she knew that I knew what she had just "secretly" done... So I started in how she was in trouble. I told her how I didn't like being mean but the things that she did she forced me to be mean. I told her how I wanted to be her best friend but I HAD to be her Mommy first. And Mommies are not always nice. and simply how disrespectful she was for doing that behind my back. And I left it at that. I went down stairs for some ME time...and about 20 minutes later she comes down visibly upset and tells me how she just feels like she wants to cry...my reply

Well you should be..You really disappointed me.

She turns around walking up the stairs crying.... I heard her crying for about 15 to 20 minutes... I really think it was for theatrics...but maybe she really was sorry.... I want to believe that but after last night's Attitude Attack...

so fast forward to Monday...

I'm on my way after work to go pick up the kids from daycare..and George Strait's song A love without end Amen...

I cry... I simply cry... not because of Sondra..or Stu... but just at the simple truth of a parent's love covers all...

Wednesday night at the dinner table refers to me as "big fat cow"??... b.c. I told her she wasn't allowed to have 3rds of baked potatoes..... Which Jake took care of that quickly..telling her she would not talk about his wife like that or to her Mom like that... I'm really not sure what it was about...I'm not sure if she really gets how hurtful it is to call people fat or big...

Alright.. then this week on Tuesday  my brother in law posts a blog about love. I didn't find it till Thursday...  it just was pretty much exactly how I was feeling how he was talking about how he loved his daughter even though she doesn't "give" him anything or do "nothing" for him.... I thought about it and more....

Since their conception I have loved my kids whole heartily .I think most parents probably have that feeling...  but I feel like and believe I would do anything for my children... But man Lately... Sondra gives me this attitude....she can act so bad...and she is a brat... (I can say that....depending who you are...I could slash your eyes out if you ever mention either of my kids being a brat).... ..but man she has had these bratitudes(I'm coining that phase for the next 15 years)..and I love her... her acting this was way lately... it kind of makes me how much I do love her.... Its a odd feeling... kind of makes me realize how much my parents love me..even when I was Younger and dumber and done dumb stuff..not just being a Snotty little brat...

So then- I'm driving home yesterday to get the kids and I hear  Jason Michael Carroll's "Hurry Home."... the chorus is :

"It doesn't matter what you've done, I still love youIt doesn't matter where you've been, you can still come homeAnd honey if it's you, we've got a lot of making up to doAnd I can't hug you on the phone, so hurry home"

I probably can't even anticipate the things my children may do....knowing their father they will give me gray hair far sooner then I should have..knowing my mischievous ways..I'm going to look 100 years old by my 40th birthday...but man...I will always love my children. There will never be a day that I don't love my children. Their names are on my lips every prayer I pray... I want nothing but the best for them and firmly believe in the power of a mother's prayers...

So last night... I had to take my kids to women's fellowship..and as we are getting ready to leave... I tell Sondra to go get her coat boots IDK...and she looks at me and says I'm quoting here: "Blah blah blah blah" cocking her head from side to side...

our eyes lock... and she starts swiftly to the kitchen with me following... well..my tempter got to me... I smacked her mouth a couple times...and tell her she "will not talk to me like that"..and that she is going to bed early for being bad...

we eventually get into the car... and I ask Stuart what he wants to do while Sissy goes to bed early....she is wailing she is sorry! sorry! sorry!... (she doesn't realize that sorry don't get out of her consequences) ..... but honestly... after i sat down at home after Stu was in bed.. I just thought about being a parent..and Sondra really disappointed me tonight but it just made me think of more ways to figure out where this is coming....I know where she gets her smart mouth.....woohoo..its my smart mouth... and I really need to watch how I talk around her...I may not be cussing..but I'm teaching her a smart mouth... hmm...children really are a product of their parents... heh...but... I'm really going to work   on always being respectful to everyone and show her a good example... but as mad as I have gotten at her this week or 2.. seems like Jesus was putting little encouragements here and there and reminding of a father's love... reminded me how much I disappointed him and he always loved me...

But my concern is other people... I don't want people not to like Sondra b.c. she is a "brat"...I just hope people realize or know that its a phase where Sondra is figuring out what is socially acceptable..and she is testing her limits... and if for some reason she puts a Bratitude towards you or when I'm not around and your with her...please let me know..b.c. Sondra and I or her father will have a talk about it...like her mother... talking of disappointments does far worse than any physical punishments...

So watch out world... My smart mouthed Sondra is on the loose....

PS I'm so sorry about leaving you hanging for a whole month..please forgive me... Christmas was crazy