Short! A Hit & Pause on Stu/Weekend Details :)

This is going to be short but I have one of the funniest stories for you guys....

One of the things that I have feared the most Sondra would ever inherit from me came to light Wednesday night. So we are at a friend's house helping process a lamb and Sondra and our friend's son are driving his John Deere Gator ... Sondra loves it..well when we are done we are sitting watching the kids and Stu escapes and goes chasing them Sondra stops so he gets close...well he gets to the side and Sondra takes off...and Stu couldn't move fast enough...and yes...she runs over Stuart's legs and stops with the back tires still on his legs... lol... and the funnest fact... Stuart is just silent laying on the ground arms spread out not one peep or cry. lol....maybe he was shocked that sister would do such a horrid thing whether on purpose or accident.... Sondra lost her electric car license but it was reinstated a little later...and to add insult to injury she ran over one of their small trees ...twice..the 1st time was a "accident"..the 2nd time Jake said he seen her face and she was smiling......and then her license were suspended forever... she could only be a passenger!


So Summer is really going to pick up and become hectic and expensive! I hate when it gets busy and I feel like I'm on a non stop fast forward. This weekend is one of the last slow weekends for a while. SO I'm going to attempt to enjoy it and try to take it easy...who knows? Maybe even sleep in tomorrow morning..hhmm...tonight we are going over to the Jess & Mike's and swim and have a cook out..  Saturday..I'm not too sure hopefully nothing .. and Sunday..its "Music in the Park"...so it all should be good :)


So! Everyone have a great weekend! :)



 

Your Invited to the Despair Party :) Beefy Dilemma :)

de·spair

   [dih-spair]  Show IPA

–noun

1.

loss of hope; hopelessness.

2.

someone or something that causes hopelessness: He isthe despair of his mother.

Despair- that is what I am feeling. It pretty much started last night as I took the task on to organize my kitchen. Cleaning out cupboards- pots and pans... I am getting on this kick of "the time is now" I want this house cleaned pronto... if your own 4 year old daughter says: this house is a mess- we need to get to cleaning. Maybe it is time to get with the program and keep a clean house.  Anyways last night its just me and kids Jake was busy in Spencerville with some wrestling camp or w/e anyways I am organizing throwing out stuff and Sondra constantly is Mommy I'm hungry..Mommy I want to go here I want to go there... Mommy I'm Hungry..after 2 snacks and repeatedly telling her the lasagna is in the oven I just snapped. (I am really trying not to raise my voice/scream with her..but it takes a lot of patience). I scream her name and tell her to shut it and get back to the living room and pick up her toys. To top things off- Stuart my usually happy go lucky buddah baby is really crabby from teething..so not only do I have Sondra nagging at me- but then I have Stuart constantly under my feet...and here I am- Lets face it I only have about 4 1/2 hours with them during the evening each day before they have to go to bed and I'm choosing to yell at them and not paying attention to them to clean...I couldn't take it. I stopped we ate dinner and then we went to the library. Came back home and watched Strawberry Shortcake and sent them to bed :). I'm still on my kick of getting a clean organized house b.c. I would rather go and come as we please and not have to trip over things...

Our Cincinnati Red's weekend was a lot of fun. We went on that ball park tour which was really awesome. That was my favorite thing. The Friday night game was really good even though they lost but the Saturday game was unbearable but I stuck it out- even if I'm not a die hard fan I was going to sit there and smile. It was nice getting away.. Friday we were walking to the ball park from our hotel and Jake says "Isn't this nice. Just not doing anything" I certainly agreed. Sometimes its just pleasant just to slow down leave the kids home- and it just be you 2. Although he did inform me the next game he wants to take Sondra...(am I being replaced?) lol... she will enjoy it I bet. I do Vote our next little vacay with just us 2 I would like a slower pace and not be so booked with Activity. I was exhausted by Sunday. From all the walking sweating and sitting in the dead heat- I felt like I was a old over worked woman... 

This is Friday Night 

On the Field

Anyways back to my Despair- leading up to our weekend away our A/C in the house wasn't up to par...My Car's A/C pukes on me again....it seems like when when it rains it pours... to help counter all this bad blood I say to myself- there are a lot greater things going wrong then my little mishaps... and now I'm starting a prayer list of daily things I need to pray about- it keeps me moving forward.. I always wonder to myself if I pray enough. If I only pray about the big stuff. Or I pray too much for myself or not enough. I always send up prayers for people I know who need prayer..but when it comes to me personally I don't know maybe I don't pray over the small things enough.. So making a list will somewhat help me I bet.

We also just got a feeder calf. My parents got one too. I told Sondra she was going to go with her Daddy to pick up some cows that we are going to butcher so we have a freezer full of hamburger and steak and so forth. She was all gun ho till she came back. She looks at me with a look of anger and says: Mommy! I am NOT going eat those cows!... lol She is a cow woman now...even said she would eat the horses instead of the cows..and then quickly reneged on that too. Just the look in her eyes- she thought how dare you. She kept saying "seriously Mom- I'm not going to eat them."... she has been saying the most funny things lately...She will say "the fact is blah blah blah..or seriously...or no really!.... I'm gonna have my hands full thats for sure! 

I must be going... I got to finish up some stuff I gotta do..and then after work Me & Stu are running to town with Newly.. Mrs. Jessy Abbey. :) while Sondra goes with Daddy to help a friend from his work cut up a lamb... My big ole freezer I think may have some lamb by the end of the night... GGRRREEEAAT... 

This is Sondra Sunday with one of those fake candles while the power was out!

5 YearMoon

Its less than a hour and I'll be off work :). I have to pack our bag and the kid's bag too...I am excited for this long weekend.
Tomorrow is 5 years me and Jake have been married. i know it isn't long long..but it is a milestone I think :). I am really excited b.c. it will be our 1st trip in a long time where it was just us 2..and only us... seems weird...lately it seems we are always busy or really Jake is usually always busy with this Hay making stuff with my brother...its worse than wrestling season... wrestling season he came home at a half decent hour but with hay season they have to get the work done not when they can but when the weather cooperates!..and that means not getting home till past 11 for a couple weeks at a time...its a sacrifice we are taking to help us buy our next house- and I don't mean to throw a pitty party..just how it has been lately..

5 years... hmm... seems odd...I feel like I have always been with Jake... like I don't remember him not being in my life... when you first get together... its all about attraction.. at least it was for me...but... now when I look at him yes I am attracted to him..well when he behaves like a gentleman:)...but I don't look at his looks..I look at him like this is my partner- the father of my children..who I am going to spend the rest of my life with... and there is a lot of comfort in that..

I'll See you guys next week! Have a great week

"My Legacy"

A look into my tradition I have with my children on their birthdays. I don't know exactly when I will give them their letters but they are in a folder for them to have someday. I'll write in their letter a recap of their year, funny stories, or special moments that happened that year. This will be Sondra's 5th letter- and I wish they were all uniformed to a point but they are not. Sondra & Stuart's pregnant letters are very personal because I am filled with a lot of emotion and I was connected  with them at that very moment. The 1st year letter has a lot of detail of firsts and things like that, but I get the feeling after writing Sondra's 4 year letter - they will go in all different directions. I don't know. Its evolving and its important to do it for each child and not rush it. I want my feelings in these letters and not just something put together to get it done ..I would post Stuart's but its long and mushy..and he would be mortified someday I bet if I posted it...So here it is... your the first to read Sondra's.....

Dear Sondra,

            I don't think you can even imagine the love your Dad and I have for you. It is so deep and so wide and overlooks anything. I love you so much it sometimes hurts me. I hurt when your hurt or in discomfort, even if I'm the one who is causing your discomfort. All this love I have for you- it is the reason why you’re still alive. I can't even say I am joking. It makes me laugh rereading it but it is true. Sondra, you are one crazy ornery little girl. I have no idea what will come out of your mouth at any moment. It really worries me!

            When you’re older and in school I will never have to worry that you are falling into peer pressure or you being a follower. I am worried what parents are going to be calling me because their "friend" Sondra did this or done that.

            This year has been a crazy one. We finally welcomed your baby brother Stuart. You love that boy. You are a little mother to him. I constantly have to tell you- "Your Not the Momma, I am!" You can never keep your hands or lips off him too..it drives me absolutely nuts. You are constantly trying to drag him around or being way too rough with him. I love Saturday mornings with you two. We will lay in bed and usually he don't want to lay down but like this morning and many mornings he will lay on your arm and just stay there. It is like he is a little bit more comfortable in your arms.

            Your Grandpa and Grandma Reffitt have got you your first pony this year. You absolutely love her. Daisy is such a good pony. You ride her all by yourself. It makes me sick. I have this fear for you that you don't even get scared or need to. You feel more comfortable on her back then leading her. I don't get that though. I am happy you’re following in your Momma's footsteps and loving horses (like you had any choice?).

             This whole year you haven't stopped talking about Grandpa Sondra or Mystery. It has really surprised me though because I wasn't really sure how much you would remember them. I assumed you would just kind of "forget". I will say that it goes in phases but lately it’s been a lot. Sometimes Sondra you will just say- "Mom, Mystery died". Or say Mystery died and now you got to be happy with Bella". When it comes to Grandma you always mention her in your prayers. I'll hear you pray and you always pray that Grandma is having fun or is ok in heaven.

            This year has so many funny "Sondra Stories". In fact I started a blog last year and I always seem to include a Sondra story. People will comment their favorite part is the Sondra story. I told you girl you and your siblings would be one of my greatest stories of my life!

            Shortly after your cousin Jude was born we went to Melissa and Jonas’s house to visit. Melissa was breast feeding for a few weeks so I thought this would be a perfect time to kind of introduce that you. I knew you would see it so I forewarned you. You were disgusted when I told you. I explained baby animals and babies eat that way. You look at me point blank and say “Well Stuart don’t eat that way!”. After our discussion we go over there. When it came time Melissa says she’ll go into the bedroom to feed him and I say Oh no your fine! You are giving her the stare down inching closer and closer…and then I did not witness it but you poked Melissa right in the boob. Ha oh Sondra. That was one funny story I had to share.  

            Another funny story is during Valentine’s Day. You wanted to get little cards. So we did and at a wrestling meet you filled them all out with all the names of Dad’s wrestling kids. You went around and passed out cards to every guy. You kind of like them boys! It made all the guys smile and you were pretty happy with yourself too. You at 4 are already boy crazy enough for me to handle. When some of the wrestling boys come to Sunday school we will be in class and you will spout out about how you wish they would come in your class and help you. Haha

            My last Sondra story I promise. So Grandma Dee, Me, and you head to Wal-Mart. So I am pushing my cart across to the grocery side when I come up on a little girl saying she wanted a bra and she needed it and blah blah. I quickly realize that the little girl is you trying to reason with Grandma. I had a moment of blank blinking and a smirk & then your Grandma says Sondra one I am not buying you a padded bra you don't have nothing to fill it with yet and 2 it’s up to what your mom says -aw thanks Grandma! So you’re sitting there staring at me and I'm thinking damn it how do I avoid this? You had moved up in sizes so you had not been to "big" girl’s side and spotted the Bras. So I ask you why do you want a bra? Your reply is because you don’t want anybody to see your Boobs and you just really wants one and you have big boobs and you needs to cover them. So I made it very clear to you if you don’t wear her them right and try showing them off- I'm taking them from you!

            This year we have had the challenge of looking for a new sitter for you and your brother. It’s really tough but your aunt Melissa is ready to take the job! I joke if anybody has any inkling of wanting to go back to school just watch my kids for a few months because all of your sitters have gone back to school! 

            I love you more than life can explain. This year you have broken my heart because you’re not a toddler or little anymore. You have grown into this “kid”. You are a kid that dances funny and says silly things. When I look at you I fear nothing. I don’t fear for your future- I already know you will do some great things. This next year I’m probably going to hold you a little longer and kiss you a little more because next year you will start school. You will start to grow up in ways I do not want you to. I wish I could keep you little forever. You think I can do anything and your Dad can make anything work. You want to please me and my kisses make anything not hurt any longer. I love you Sondra Ray and am so very proud of you and who you are becoming. Love- Mom         

WeddingOverSTRESS?Dancing King/5YRStrip/Campingout

What a week what a weekend I had...

Last friday after work I got the kids and headed to home to get the kid's baths and head to the church... went through the rehersals a few times..Sondra not walking down the isle...I had my wishful thinking going on and saying she'll do fine for the big day...and then had a lovely meal after ward at my Grandpa Kenny's...and then thats wheen the trimmer began....I'm on my way home and it hits me... Best Man's Toast..Maid of Honor speech/toast?... SHIT!... I guess it hit me b.c. it was the 1st time I really met Al..Like I had seen him in passing... IDK..But my 1st reaction..sweating... lol.. then I text my sister...and ask if AL was doing a speech..and she replies an hour or so later....Yes he has one ready... my reaction.......SHIT SHIT SHIT....that means I'll be expected to do one... eehh... talking...so I get home... outbursts to Jake!..and he says oh you'll be fine...and then I start.... this is at like 11 closer to midnight....so then I'm kind of just writing something...thinking maybe I won't have too..but then confirmation from Jess she texts: "Do you have one ready"....my down right lie... of course... lol..SHIT...at about 1am...I'm on the phone to Lace telling her my speech and asking if it sounds ok..with some confidence from Lace and another reciting to my Sister in Law Kayla..I feel good about it... I'm confident in the speech but me actually me saying it...eeeekk... so now.. we are ready in the back of the church waiting to walk down the isle...Sondra... surprising won't go and grabs hold of my leg and buries her head..almost pulling up my dress to reveal my body armor that is supposed to be worn and not seen lol (girls you know what that means)...but I catch it just in time... I really wanted to hurt her... it gets worse... so this is the 1st time we all are dressed up as a family so I want Misty to take a family picture of us... who doesn't co operate..not my baby boy..but my little bratty girl..I was really mad at her..like contemplating spanking her b.c. she won't look at the camera and smile for us...I was ticked...haven't seen the photos yet..hopefully there is at least one good one in there...so we get to the reception...the DJ.. my uncle Dave says we are going to do the toasts right before everyone eats..so that like what in 2 minutes... aahh.. not feeling real confident... so AL is nervous..I'm nervous...and he is asking if I wanted to go first...and I say well sure! lol... I'm goofy... so all this anticipation you probably think I fell flat......well I didn't... I handled it... maybe its b.c. I took Public Speaking in college...or not Idk...it just scared the pee out of me standing up and talking in front of 500 people..although while speaking I could feel my free hand shaking...or I felt like my voice sounded shaky... but with people's reassurances they said it was great... 

I was happy for the rest of the night.... so happy I was even dancing... lol.. Jake loves to dance...me not so much..but will do for my husband..I'm more willing to dance with a few drinks in me but I decided not to drink anything that night...and let him have a few...so there I was just relieved that I got the speech over with and thought I couldn't humiliate myself any worse so I danced a little and by the end of the night when we were still dancing and people were cleaning up- I decided to continue to dance so I wouldn't have to help clean up lol.... I'm so lazy I know... also of those who seen my hubby dancing... no he wasn't drunk he was feeling good  lol...and if you think that is crazy..you should be at a CLUM wedding and In the Navy Comes on...eehhh 

I was so happy to be home and in bed with the wedding over... we slept in the next day... all of us were grumpy too lol... we opened presents at my grandpa's the next day also... and my last Maid of Honor duty was over..writing down all the crap that I would like to have that the bride received on a piece of paper!.. lol..and I told My Sister..I'M NOT THROWING you your Baby Shower whenever that may be..LOL... I don't think she was offended..

I cannot wait for next weekend... Jake & I's 5 year anniversary is Friday July 22...we are going to a red's game @ 710pm with really good seats Jake got through one of his salesman at work... but taking the day off and going for a tour at the park..and then today we decided going and getting cheap seats for the game on Saturday... man I love my husband... I have a hard time watching Baseball on tv..but I'll manage...it is going to be nice...our hotel is in walking distance to the park... and a nice one..I'm excited to get "away"... 

Welp... I have to be going...I'm off Camping this weekend with the horses... it should be good...a weekend of doing nothing sitting around a fire and riding in a wagon.. can't wait! There is just something about that noise from the horses feet hitting the grounding... 

Walmart Hate Stu's Advice weddingwkend babysitterdelight

I'm going to say this now..I hate Walmart. I can't stand it and their pharmacy. They come in handy when you have grocery shopping to do..but I am pretty close to just driving cross town to Meijer to do my shopping. The money I spent in Gas would probably be worth it then waiting in line for so long and waiting so long for the pharmacy. They just really annoy me..

As far as Stuart... when I took him to the doctor he wanted to do another Chest Xray and blood work... his chest xray showed he has a respiratory infection. So he is on antibiotics and we go back to doc next Friday and there he says we'll probably get him on a decongestant medicine to help with all his congestion... I hate when he is coughing and hacking and all along I have just gotten use to it.. He is my little Wheeze Box...I have talked to many mothers and all of them said he will grow out of it... both Jordan and Jonas was the same way... I've had people tell me its b.c. they are c-section babies and not everything was squeezed out of them how normal babies are born... I have had people say its allergies..I've had people tell me its asthma... and all the suggestions I have got I beleive them all...I like to hear people's advice... I got a little tired of it when Sondra was a baby b.c. I heard so much of it....but I just let it go in one ear and grabbed on to what I agreed with and let the rest go out...but ultimately I have learned when hearing advice is no matter how crazy it may seem there could be some helpfulness to it... no matter what you read in a book or hear a doctor tell you what they think you should do...is much different then a parent that has been through it. As my doctor's nurse is telling me he has a infection I said I'm such a bad mother!..and her reply is.."you were doing what you should have been doing.  You said he didn't have a fever and eating normally, and not cranky...how would you know when he is always congested and wheezing."...I thought to myself well I guess you are right...the only time I felt a little like he was getting sick was Saturday and Sunday... at his well baby check up I told them I was concerned about his wheezing and breathing...then he got his 1 year shots...and then Saturday and Sunday he was warm but nothing over 100 and I knew that didn't warrant a visit to the ER...so I was just doing what I knew to do.....but still hearing today he needed antibiotics still wasn't fun!... I'm glad he is going to get to feeling better...hmm..IDK..I guess after rambling all about this--- I guess what I am saying is I won't ever turn down advice and if you give it..know I will at least try it once for your benefit if I don't think it will harm my child :).

Tonight is Jess & Mike's rehearsal dinner and tomorrow their Wedding! I love weddings..I love weddings I watch not so much like being in them... I'm excited for Sondra b.c. she is a flower girl and this time she'll actually do the flower thing...  she has been pretty excited and always wants to practice with her flower petals. So she is really looking forward to these next 2 days maybe even more than Jess is.. lol... Stuart will be dressed to the nines in a little 5 pc tux... We'll all be dressed up to impress..I'm excited!..family , friends, good food, and wedding cake...yummy!.

I'm happy to report I have found a baby sitter for the kiddies!... I'm excited for my Sister In law Melissa to watch them!..Sondra & Stu are going to have a great time playing with Jude. Now I just got to figure out how much earlier I need to leave my house. to be on time for work. The kids last day with Amanda is July 29th. Man Sondra is gonna miss her and the kids. and I'm sure Stuart will miss Amanda too. probably not the twins so much b.c. they pick on him.. lol.. well they try to be helpful.. lol..

I must be going..I got things to do!!>..Later pray for a nice wedding...