de·spair
[dih-spair]
Show IPA–noun
1.
loss of hope; hopelessness.
Despair- that is what I am feeling. It pretty much started last night as I took the task on to organize my kitchen. Cleaning out cupboards- pots and pans... I am getting on this kick of "the time is now" I want this house cleaned pronto... if your own 4 year old daughter says: this house is a mess- we need to get to cleaning. Maybe it is time to get with the program and keep a clean house. Anyways last night its just me and kids Jake was busy in Spencerville with some wrestling camp or w/e anyways I am organizing throwing out stuff and Sondra constantly is Mommy I'm hungry..Mommy I want to go here I want to go there... Mommy I'm Hungry..after 2 snacks and repeatedly telling her the lasagna is in the oven I just snapped. (I am really trying not to raise my voice/scream with her..but it takes a lot of patience). I scream her name and tell her to shut it and get back to the living room and pick up her toys. To top things off- Stuart my usually happy go lucky buddah baby is really crabby from teething..so not only do I have Sondra nagging at me- but then I have Stuart constantly under my feet...and here I am- Lets face it I only have about 4 1/2 hours with them during the evening each day before they have to go to bed and I'm choosing to yell at them and not paying attention to them to clean...I couldn't take it. I stopped we ate dinner and then we went to the library. Came back home and watched Strawberry Shortcake and sent them to bed :). I'm still on my kick of getting a clean organized house b.c. I would rather go and come as we please and not have to trip over things...
Our Cincinnati Red's weekend was a lot of fun. We went on that ball park tour which was really awesome. That was my favorite thing. The Friday night game was really good even though they lost but the Saturday game was unbearable but I stuck it out- even if I'm not a die hard fan I was going to sit there and smile. It was nice getting away.. Friday we were walking to the ball park from our hotel and Jake says "Isn't this nice. Just not doing anything" I certainly agreed. Sometimes its just pleasant just to slow down leave the kids home- and it just be you 2. Although he did inform me the next game he wants to take Sondra...(am I being replaced?) lol... she will enjoy it I bet. I do Vote our next little vacay with just us 2 I would like a slower pace and not be so booked with Activity. I was exhausted by Sunday. From all the walking sweating and sitting in the dead heat- I felt like I was a old over worked woman...
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| This is Friday Night |
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| On the Field |
Anyways back to my Despair- leading up to our weekend away our A/C in the house wasn't up to par...My Car's A/C pukes on me again....it seems like when when it rains it pours... to help counter all this bad blood I say to myself- there are a lot greater things going wrong then my little mishaps... and now I'm starting a prayer list of daily things I need to pray about- it keeps me moving forward.. I always wonder to myself if I pray enough. If I only pray about the big stuff. Or I pray too much for myself or not enough. I always send up prayers for people I know who need prayer..but when it comes to me personally I don't know maybe I don't pray over the small things enough.. So making a list will somewhat help me I bet.
We also just got a feeder calf. My parents got one too. I told Sondra she was going to go with her Daddy to pick up some cows that we are going to butcher so we have a freezer full of hamburger and steak and so forth. She was all gun ho till she came back. She looks at me with a look of anger and says: Mommy! I am NOT going eat those cows!... lol She is a cow woman now...even said she would eat the horses instead of the cows..and then quickly reneged on that too. Just the look in her eyes- she thought how dare you. She kept saying "seriously Mom- I'm not going to eat them."... she has been saying the most funny things lately...She will say "the fact is blah blah blah..or seriously...or no really!.... I'm gonna have my hands full thats for sure!
I must be going... I got to finish up some stuff I gotta do..and then after work Me & Stu are running to town with Newly.. Mrs. Jessy Abbey. :) while Sondra goes with Daddy to help a friend from his work cut up a lamb... My big ole freezer I think may have some lamb by the end of the night... GGRRREEEAAT...
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| This is Sondra Sunday with one of those fake candles while the power was out! |
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