A look into my tradition I have with my children on their birthdays. I don't know exactly when I will give them their letters but they are in a folder for them to have someday. I'll write in their letter a recap of their year, funny stories, or special moments that happened that year. This will be Sondra's 5th letter- and I wish they were all uniformed to a point but they are not. Sondra & Stuart's pregnant letters are very personal because I am filled with a lot of emotion and I was connected with them at that very moment. The 1st year letter has a lot of detail of firsts and things like that, but I get the feeling after writing Sondra's 4 year letter - they will go in all different directions. I don't know. Its evolving and its important to do it for each child and not rush it. I want my feelings in these letters and not just something put together to get it done ..I would post Stuart's but its long and mushy..and he would be mortified someday I bet if I posted it...So here it is... your the first to read Sondra's.....
Dear Sondra,
I don't think you can even imagine the love your Dad and I have for you. It is so deep and so wide and overlooks anything. I love you so much it sometimes hurts me. I hurt when your hurt or in discomfort, even if I'm the one who is causing your discomfort. All this love I have for you- it is the reason why you’re still alive. I can't even say I am joking. It makes me laugh rereading it but it is true. Sondra, you are one crazy ornery little girl. I have no idea what will come out of your mouth at any moment. It really worries me!
When you’re older and in school I will never have to worry that you are falling into peer pressure or you being a follower. I am worried what parents are going to be calling me because their "friend" Sondra did this or done that.
This year has been a crazy one. We finally welcomed your baby brother Stuart. You love that boy. You are a little mother to him. I constantly have to tell you- "Your Not the Momma, I am!" You can never keep your hands or lips off him too..it drives me absolutely nuts. You are constantly trying to drag him around or being way too rough with him. I love Saturday mornings with you two. We will lay in bed and usually he don't want to lay down but like this morning and many mornings he will lay on your arm and just stay there. It is like he is a little bit more comfortable in your arms.
Your Grandpa and Grandma Reffitt have got you your first pony this year. You absolutely love her. Daisy is such a good pony. You ride her all by yourself. It makes me sick. I have this fear for you that you don't even get scared or need to. You feel more comfortable on her back then leading her. I don't get that though. I am happy you’re following in your Momma's footsteps and loving horses (like you had any choice?).
This whole year you haven't stopped talking about Grandpa Sondra or Mystery. It has really surprised me though because I wasn't really sure how much you would remember them. I assumed you would just kind of "forget". I will say that it goes in phases but lately it’s been a lot. Sometimes Sondra you will just say- "Mom, Mystery died". Or say Mystery died and now you got to be happy with Bella". When it comes to Grandma you always mention her in your prayers. I'll hear you pray and you always pray that Grandma is having fun or is ok in heaven.
This year has so many funny "Sondra Stories". In fact I started a blog last year and I always seem to include a Sondra story. People will comment their favorite part is the Sondra story. I told you girl you and your siblings would be one of my greatest stories of my life!
Shortly after your cousin Jude was born we went to Melissa and Jonas’s house to visit. Melissa was breast feeding for a few weeks so I thought this would be a perfect time to kind of introduce that you. I knew you would see it so I forewarned you. You were disgusted when I told you. I explained baby animals and babies eat that way. You look at me point blank and say “Well Stuart don’t eat that way!”. After our discussion we go over there. When it came time Melissa says she’ll go into the bedroom to feed him and I say Oh no your fine! You are giving her the stare down inching closer and closer…and then I did not witness it but you poked Melissa right in the boob. Ha oh Sondra. That was one funny story I had to share.
Another funny story is during Valentine’s Day. You wanted to get little cards. So we did and at a wrestling meet you filled them all out with all the names of Dad’s wrestling kids. You went around and passed out cards to every guy. You kind of like them boys! It made all the guys smile and you were pretty happy with yourself too. You at 4 are already boy crazy enough for me to handle. When some of the wrestling boys come to Sunday school we will be in class and you will spout out about how you wish they would come in your class and help you. Haha
My last Sondra story I promise. So Grandma Dee, Me, and you head to Wal-Mart. So I am pushing my cart across to the grocery side when I come up on a little girl saying she wanted a bra and she needed it and blah blah. I quickly realize that the little girl is you trying to reason with Grandma. I had a moment of blank blinking and a smirk & then your Grandma says Sondra one I am not buying you a padded bra you don't have nothing to fill it with yet and 2 it’s up to what your mom says -aw thanks Grandma! So you’re sitting there staring at me and I'm thinking damn it how do I avoid this? You had moved up in sizes so you had not been to "big" girl’s side and spotted the Bras. So I ask you why do you want a bra? Your reply is because you don’t want anybody to see your Boobs and you just really wants one and you have big boobs and you needs to cover them. So I made it very clear to you if you don’t wear her them right and try showing them off- I'm taking them from you!
This year we have had the challenge of looking for a new sitter for you and your brother. It’s really tough but your aunt Melissa is ready to take the job! I joke if anybody has any inkling of wanting to go back to school just watch my kids for a few months because all of your sitters have gone back to school!
I love you more than life can explain. This year you have broken my heart because you’re not a toddler or little anymore. You have grown into this “kid”. You are a kid that dances funny and says silly things. When I look at you I fear nothing. I don’t fear for your future- I already know you will do some great things. This next year I’m probably going to hold you a little longer and kiss you a little more because next year you will start school. You will start to grow up in ways I do not want you to. I wish I could keep you little forever. You think I can do anything and your Dad can make anything work. You want to please me and my kisses make anything not hurt any longer. I love you Sondra Ray and am so very proud of you and who you are becoming. Love- Mom
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