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| 1 Month (We were in MI at a sheep show) |
As usual my anxiety kicked up a day or so leading up to C/S... I tried all I could to repress those feelings...repress repress..I'm not going to think about it!...then day of..they are hooking me up for my IV and monitor before C/S and it took all in me not to fall asleep..we actually turned the lights off and I rested as much as I could because I was so tired..lol...thoughts of my new baby were not dancing in my head like sugar plums...my only thoughts were.."I'm too tired to take care of a newborn again...how am I going to do this??...wait a second..does this make me a bad mom that I am thinking this??? SHAME ON ME" then all of a sudden they are wheeling me back! The experience this time was actually really great. I didn't feel like I couldn't breathe like previous ones..I didn't have a hard time keeping my eyes open...it did take a little longer than last 3 b.c. Skyla never was right "there" head down engaged and I have scar tissue..... Leading up I was wondering how much she would weigh..and surprise surprise she was my 2nd biggest..When I was taken back to my room and waiting on Skyla to come to room all of a sudden I had this burst of energy back...I wasn't tired for the rest of my stay. I just think I was just hating the thought of having another C/S and I was shutting down! When Skyla got back and I held her and Jake and Jessy (she is my person...like I would never want to be alone if Jake was having major surgery I'd need some support if something happened..so I enlisted her to there)..after our initial holding..I tried nursing..and she from Day one hasn't ever had trouble...her latch is good (no damage to the tatas thus far)..her only issue or really my issue is she loves to eat!... which having 3 other kids can be interesting... The kids loved her and I was worried most for Nia but she held her for at least 10 minutes of the 15 minutes she was at the hospital lol.. it got wild so they seen her held her and left! :) ... We had loved ones come and visit and meet Skyla which was really sweet.
Since being home we all have adjusted. Sondra is the pro..no really she is a pro big sister and the reason why Shania is such a great helper is because she has had a wonderful role model to know what to do. She also has done wonders in taking over Shania when she needs extra attention while momma is busy without even being asked. We even have to watch it because when I discipline her she will go to Sondra for comfort. Or even sometime when she is upset she would rather have Sondra....insert heart breaking here...tear tear tear ...sniffle.... WHICH I just need to remember that would happen whether I was a good or bad mom..she is getting her attention that she needs and deserves... Stuart always takes me back with Skyla...he isn't baby crazy..but he will nuzzle Skyla and talk to her in a baby voice and tell her she is his girl...time to time he will hold her... and Shania...is Shania..some days she is up my butt and I can't handle it others she stays away..but not a day doesn't go by that she don't love on Skyla..which is really cute....and scary... and I wondered how she would react to the whole nursing thing...it was inevitable:
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| I glance over while watching TV..lol.. oh Nia :) |
Skyla is almost 1 1/2 months old..jeeze..its gone by fast... I hug and love her..and gaze at her and think..am I done with this??? I just am not sure. My doctor told me she felt comfortable if I wanted to have another baby just not within a year. She "reinforced" incision and told me it actually looked better than when I had Shania. So I'm not sure...I'm just enjoying this babe as much as I can.
Sondra and Stuart's birthdays have come and gone too! ... Sondra wanted to go to American Girl...and we finally did it Saturday...we have been so stinking busy..so last minute Sondra and a friend went. It was pretty fun..We stopped at Culvers for lunch then off to the store at Easton...Sondra and Aniya went from doll to doll checking out everything telling me stuff about them.then they wanted to go to Justice (hell in other words) and they picked out best friend jewelry...they actually picked out a hamburger best friend necklace...:) LOL that is my daughter!
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| lol they wanted a picture together with their necklaces attached :) |
I pose one question... going to the Michigan show I realized how hard it will be to keep tabs on my kids at the Allen County Fair..I'm looking for some type of GPS tracker for my 2 middles...does anybody have any ideas...I mean I know I am supposed to watch my kids...but I want something if they were to wonder off..I know they will... It freaks me out..at the show it was all Sheep people but at the fair there is a bunch of weirdos...I'm trying to figure something out...let me know if you guys have anything in mind... I mean look this is a common thing with these 2...:
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| these 2 I feel like are always in trouble |
Welp I must be going... please pray for me and my own..and I can do the same for you!
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