Pulled a All Nighter- Purse Fool- Anxiety kid crazy- And WW Success!

My Little Man isn't feeling too hot!.. Last night he woke up at 2:30am wet all over...I smelled him..wasn't Pee...then realized he had thrown up...Got him changed..his bed changed and had Jake try to feed him...He wouldn't eat so I was going to let him lay in our bed for a little bit to get him calmed down...and then he puked everywhere again!..everywhere on my side...:) great... so I lay towels down..change him once again...and try to get some sleep...he falls to sleep quickly..but every so often just cries and whimpers...  :(..I hate that... so we didn't sleep for a straight 30min all night last night...this morning as we are getting ready to walk out he pukes again..fun ;)..change him again..and lets just say..I felt bad but had some relief when I dropped him off to the babysitter..  bless her heart..I love her.. she gave me a update saying he has been resting pretty much all day..and that she has only been feeding him little amounts..but so far fingers crossed have kept it down...

I have got a few busy days ahead of me. Tomorrow is my purse party :) can't wait for that.. I have to go to town tonight and get stuff for my...Brownie Ice cream Sundae bar! :) Also..this weekend I am going to districts..this will be the longest I have ever left my little guy..and I am not looking forward to it for the most part...but I know for my sanity...I should do this....its a big job getting everything for both kids for the weekend too!..and for myself too...I just have anxiety about leaving both my kids..I know they will be taken care by 2 really great people..but I still have my anxiety issues like usual. I don't do this often..but when I do leave them for a weekend I miss them like crazy and don't put them down for a while ;)... 

People that don't me all the way..would never know that I have anxiety about my kids..I just do.. as silly as it may seem to you- I like having my kiddies..If I'm not working...they are with me...sometimes its bothersome for aunts uncles and grandparents..but its hard for me to part with them... here lately I have been better with Sondra... not so much with Stuart... I think its good for her.. and me 2 :) I'm going to be frank...I would rather something someone hurt my children on my watch then on someone else's...I'd hate to have to try to forgive someone else.  

Sondra tends to listen less to me b.c. I'm her main comforter..her Daddy is the "man" and is final say..I spank her way more than Jake and discipline her way more...but still she listens to Daddy more and that really upsets Jake.. Its sometimes defeating lol.. here lately It seems like nothing I do works... the taking away part is a big help... but still we are having issues with her just straight up not listening..which in part her age of 3 1/2 does not help...but just her personality and temperament is out of this world..and I know I'm not the first mother in the world to have a child like this..but man oh my... lol..I usually don't spank her unless we are in public and want to get her attention fast and in a hurry...I know Sondra isn't perfect and will never be but in public she is going to know how to act...or I will make her... she is quickly learning the phrase "We need to go have a talk in the bathroom" means... when I'm by myself and just her and Stu in tow..I have little patience... when I asked God to give me patience I should have asked him to give me the ability to have patience- BUT we do not need to test it!~!!..lol... anyways...as Bad as Sondra can be she melts my heart 2 seconds later... she has a way about her that I'm wrapped around her little finger. I love her because she will always be her own person. She is smart and and can give it right back...she is the first little girl that didn't cry immediately after my own Dad gave her the stare down...I felt like I could of cried lol...

Also WW last night went great... this was the first week that I felt like I wasn't sure how I was going to do... last week I knew I wasn't going to lose much or really anything...this past week I followed my points right I think..but I don't know. I guess I have never had a real friendly relationship with the scale..so I never know how it may treat me lol... but thankfully I lost 2.4 pounds in one week :). I'm very close to my first goal of 5%. Once I reach that then it will be getting to my 10% and then after that is when we will talk about my actual goal weight that I want to have :). I'm so excited that for once in my life I'm taking control and deciding to change it myself. 

Well I must be going!>.just wanted to update you guys... I'll get back to you soon ;) 

  

Tough Friday...Love Lock-down Sondra..and Kindle News!

So I thought I would be updating everyone on Friday...but I ended up not going to work...
As I was getting ready Friday morning I knew it would be a tough day... so tough I made sure to put my Grandma's perfume...her scent that is familiar to me and gives me some ease when i smell it.... I have not been to many funerals to begin with..Usually they have been older people...I thought all week about Nathan..his life...his family... I thought about the things he had done in life and accomplished..but yet was sad for the things he was never able to do..
since having kids I have become somewhat more open to share my feelings...but still I like to be left alone in sadness. I know that does not make sense but that is me. I would rather cry by myself. In my most sad times I usually cry in my car or tub. Silly I know.
On Friday- I had deiced I was going to be strong. I was going to see for myself and actually I may start believing that Nathan really did pass away. I all week just could not believe it. I just thought there is no way there has been a mistake. So I wait my turn to see him. I look at him- Still as handsome as the day I last saw him...strong Joie...Stay strong..I starting thinking about what he will miss....I turn to go hug his Mom and sisters and just see them...and that is where my strength..whether be a lot or not..I lost it and did not know where it went. I hug them and managed to only say a few words- nothing that I really wanted to say..but I was there. Being present is enough I hope. I am so sorry that they have had to go through this but pray that no one else close to us or anywhere have to deal with a loss like this. We sang the national anthem at his service and  it has made me teary eyed before but now- it gave it much more meaning. I always stood and placed my hand over my heart and thought of the service my cousins and brothers, uncles, grandpas had given to our country..but now.. like on Saturday at wrestling standing for the anthem..I only saw Nathan's face when I stared at the flag. Although it was a very tough service it became easier when people shared memories of Nathan and who he was as a person. I am not sad for him...He is in heaven...I'm just sad for his family. He was a good man...and anyone who knew him would agree.

On a much lighter note..maybe it can cheer you up...Sondra has been crazy... she is so funny... we walk into church today...one of my cousin's friends is standing by the door to the Jr. Sunday School..and Sondra just giggles...I drop stuff off in the nursery..and come back and Still Sondra has not gone down and now my cousin is standing by the door...I say Sondra get down there...and she says i am waiting mommy....and I say on what...and she says Colt...so this kid comes out..she giggles..and sprints....then later my Mom says Sondra makes her go out to the door to the sanctuary and points out and says..look there is a wrestler boy named colt..but not colt Lovejoy...its someone else..and just giggles...well we go to Grandpa Kenny's for lunch....and she won't leave those boys alone...she follows this guy around like a love sick puppy...the boys go outside to load some hay for Jake...and she wants to go and I say no...I ask her why she wants to go out there..and she says to see Cole...(someone had corrected her on his name)...she kept asking the other cousins where Cole was...well after a little bit..I realize Sondra has gone missing....I wonder where she has gone...of course the barn...I call Jake and he confirms.... I am going to have some problems with this girl...Thursday its "dopey" from Snow White.. Last night the Beast was her hubby...now she is on to Cole a Freshman in High-school....I get her from the barn and I say what were you doing..."Playing with Cole, He was trying to get me"...and my Mom says you didn't let him...he has cooties...and she says no..he didn't touch me...only my Daddy's Coat..

So I am finally getting my Kindle and I am so excited! Jake is getting it for me. In true Jake fashion he asked me how much they were. I tell him..then he asks if He could get it anywhere cheaper lol...No its a kindle only amazon sells them. Jake really does spoil me. He says it doesn't pay me back for all the "single Motherhood" I endured this year for wrestling but I said it sure helps :). My Kindle is supposed to come no later than Tuesday but I checking it and its supposed to come tomorrow by the end of the day at my work!!!>..So tomorrow..I am going to go to work...try and get everything done I need to so I can play with my kindle as soon as possible!...So excited!

Well I must be going! I'll update soon I am sure...

Joy in the Heart, Sondra's New Law, Wrestling, and heavy WW

My Son always cheers my heart up... sometimes when I'm down his pure happiness just brings me such joy.. last night I just wasn't right..and we were playing and such..and he just loves on anybody...and he hugged me and gave me some kisses...his smiles and laughter are contagious...how can I not be absolutely deliriously happy with him..
also with Sondra- we started something new yet again..when things are not working out we have to go back to the drawing board with her...anyways...So Friday night before the basketball game..we write up the rules...If she doesn't listen 1 of 3 things will be done: 1. Corner or chair 2. No TV 3. No Doll house for a Day also..she has a mouth on her... she can talk back with the best of them.. so for back talking: 1. No Bedtime Snack 2. No Bedtime story 3. Put Doll babies away for 1 week . Also rewards are: if she is good for the she gets her bedtime snack...and if she is good with no   issues all week she is allowed to have 20.00 to spend at Walmart or ToysRus.. (which is a lot of money but fortunately Sondra is very stubborn and we know she may never reach a perfect or close to perfect week lol bahahaha) which when we were coming up with these rules and things to take away and stuff like that... Jake asks Sondra after he first says No bedtime snack or story says..what else Sondra should we take away..and she dead straight face looks at him and says.."Just Spank me Dad"..and Jake's reply..."Sondra I'm not going to spank you- it is not working!"... lol..she knew that she would rather have spanking b.c. then its done and over with and she goes on her merry way...
I had seriously big doubts about if this was going to work...but Friday she did was in trouble to begin with B.c she was bad for her babysitter... Saturday she managed not to get any TV for that night or in the morning...Sunday..it was like a change of heart...she wakes up wants TV and I remind her that she was bad yesterday and that if she was good at church she may be allowed to watch her shows at Grandpa and Grandma's house... didn't make a stink about it and just says okay mommy..she was good for the rest of the day...she had a little close calls..but nothing that any other 3 yr old would do...
AND THIS IS THE LAW:

Having this too smart for her own good kid has made me understand other parents that at one time I thought man why don't they just do this or that?... or my kid isn't gonna do that... but wow.. what I have learned until my kid is that age or going through something like that then I really shouldn't judge... I may have a different opinion..but unless they ask for it..I'm not going to tell them it or make snide remarks... its rude... Nothing though now beats hearing people that don't have their own kids preach about how something is wrong...makes me think how ignorant I was when I did that same thing...

Wrestling is on the down hill..this weekend will probably be my last wrestling thing..b.c. Districts is a overnighter..and I don't know how I will be able to manage that..I don't want to leave my kids all weekend and not sure if I really would want to get a hotel room and all that..although I'll be dying to hear how everyone is doing. I hate to miss them wrestle...Sondra was so funny...we brought her valentine cards to wrestling... I say who do you want to send them too..she looks out at the mat and sees a AE wrestler wrestling on the far mat...she says to that mustang over there..and I say who is it..I'm not sure who it is..and she looks at me like I'm an idiot and says..Justin..I say Justin who(i'm quizzing her now)..her reply..Justin Pryor MOM!  Wow..My girly is a smartypants...so we fill out cards for all the guys...our first attempt at giving cards she just couldn't...I walk her out to the hallway and say what happened Sondra?..I didn't fill out all these cards and have you sign all them(her scribbles) so that we keep them..We will just have to throw them away then..and she says...Mom I'm just nervous... lol..hahaha...wow..once she Gave Lee his Vday card she started enjoying it and when she realized she didn't have anymore cards was upset... so funny! What am I going to do!?...then she is playing with our cousins Ipad..yes a ipad... and she looks up at me while she is playing and goes Mommy I want one of these for my birthday please ok...lol..in your dreams Sondra!~  So for her next birthday..I'm thinking I am going to get her a portable DVD player...she likes to watch movies on my sister's itouch at wrestling...so the DVD player would be more safer and would occupy her time at meets when she isn't harassing the boys...
MY BABY BOY AT WRESTLING:

Well I must be going!... Have a great day..and maybe you will hear from me again this week... oh and WW is tonight... last week I lost 4.8 pounds...this week..I'm afraid I'm going to gain some of that back...tisk tisk I know.. had a few days I just couldn't resist...I'm going to get back on track today though...Also..I'm praying for all the "clueless" husbands out there..wake up!

Remembering Nathan..

So sad to have to share this..
I find it strange what memories stick with us the most about certain people..here are mine of Nathan

Nathan was always my childhood Best Friend's Big Brother. He was the a lot older brother... So you can say when I was over there and he was in the house-- I was a smiley. I wasn't old enough to be like oh he is hott...but certainly I remember being googley....

When Jonas & Rick came back from the Army we had this really big party on my parents basketball court. Huge!! Like a hometown band and all. Favorite memory from that party...at one point in the night here stood Nathan Megan and Kristin and then stood my siblings...we were all "grown" up..and I remember him saying how it just wasn't right me and Kristin were there b.c. to him we still these 2 little girls playing with our dolls..

Most recent memory... he had been doing his own thing for a while and I don't think I had seen him in a while.... but he ended up moving back with his Mom..and every now and then he would bring one of his nephews Jackson over to my parents and he would borrow things b.c. he had projects he was doing at his Mom's house or he would come over just to talk...and the sparkle in his eye when he talked about his nephews or his family. He told us of his plans of joining the army and where we would probably be stationed and how long he had to train and boot camp in all. How he would be the "old" guy there but he could certainly take it! He had a lot of passion already for joining the military...

One thing though I find very special...all his nephews one way or another look like him. That is pretty precious.

when I got the news last night about his death 1st..I was numb- didn't seem like that could possibly be real...seemed just like yesterday we were going over to their house for his Going Away get together... Our families have always been neighbors. Good neighbors..like if they ever needed something we would help and that goes the other way around. Although me & Kristin aren't best friends anymore like we were growing up- but I can certainly say if she ever called and needed a thing I would do what I could and I feel like she would do the same... but hearing that news...I've known people that have gone over seas... my 2 older brothers..and other people..but not once have I ever known anybody that died over there...you don't beleive it... you don't beleive that those kind of things are really going on over there...but sadly they are...I'm afraid attending his service will be a tough one...

Please always thank your service men/women and even people you don't particularly know but know they are service men/women..b.c. no matter the reasons why they joined- they knew they were risking their lives for a cause much larger than themselves... always stand up and place your hand over your heart and give those soldiers their time due when the national anthem is played...to me..thats a tribute to the Men/Women that risk and give their life's for what that flag stands for..and one of those men was Nathan..

I'm hugging my babies even more tighter and appreciating the life that I have. You never know what tomorrow holds...

Potty Mouth, Night Owl, WW Fear, and let the planning begin!

so Sondra had another incident with a bad word...this time: Saturday.. I am at my parents...we are making pizza...I ask Sondra..do you want a piece of pizza...her reply : hell ya....I smile and look at her and say What did you say sweetie... I said Hell Ya Mom... heh.. 1.. she didn't cover her mouth..so I'm guessing she didn't know it was a bad word..before then if she said a bad word and she knew it she would cover her mouth real quick..anyways..I look at her and say that is a bad word! You do not say Hell!...as I'm saying this.. the boys and a friend think its entertainment...lol..as I did when I was that age..and now..its not entertainment to me anymore...but I wash her mouth out with vanilla and we talk about it later..and I explain to her Bad people go to hell..and the devil lives there and how it is not a word we say especially like how she said it..so please try not to bring up the devil in front of her..and if she tells you - your going to hell...consider yourself a bad person in her book..lol...wow... we had such a long time since she had said a real bad word... oh well..it life

Also.. Last night Stuart was being his ornery self... first off..he was standing all night..and tried standing without holding on to stuff..Jake said he stood for like 2 seconds... gggrrr.... this little chunky cookie won't stay my baby...anyways...we started regular baby food last night...he got peas!..and he liked them...well..he needs to get use to them..but he ate them all... then before bed..he had his cereal and fruit- then after his bottle.... he would not go to sleep..he was "sleepy"..but would not fall asleep...i put him in his bed..and he stood up and made lots of noise! finally Jake went and got him..tried feeding him more..and he wouldn't eat... so... he ended up sleeping in our bed between us..which I hate b.c. I never sleep good...I wake up a few times a night..checking on him...but he sleeps like a rock when he is in our bed... he peacefully wakes up this morning...with a smile... what a snot!... sadly he isn't going to be my quiet little guy that i wanted...I'm fearing he will be worse than Sondra...pray for me now please...

Tonight is a bit of Excitement and Dooms Day...lol.. Last week I was unable to weigh in at a Official meeting b.c. of the weather... so...tonight we are going...now..let me start off by saying... I have followed these point things to a T. I use all my points in a day... try to drink all my water...and this week I had even used my point-plus too... that is what makes me think this week was not so great... I don't know!~....If I gain weight... lol.. I laugh myself stupid.. lol.. that doesn't even make sense... but if I lose weight IDK..it just seems odd...like how does this work..Your able to eat anything..but its about portions... but still it doesn't seem right...I don't know..I eat pretty great all week..breakfast and all...but on weekends..not so great but still stay within my points and extra points too... who knows... I'll report about my meeting in a few days...

so Vday is Monday...I can't even remember the last time we did anything special..hmm...I don't know whether that is Sad or we are just over the fact...He knows I love him and I know he loves me... do we really need to go out to eat to celebrate our love for Valentine's day.. now our anniversary this year... 5 years... yes.. we are gonna go out to eat just us ;)...

So Retreat planning is in full swing...we have a total of 24 ladies confirmed!...so Happy!.. I had been fearing we wouldn't have a good number..but it makes me happy that 24 ladies are coming and probably more!!!...so if your interested..please let me know..

Well I best be going... have a great night ;)

Manners: Sondra's funny business: Baby Names: Endin' it w/WW

Why can people be so rude. Or really why can't people have manners. I don't know how some people were raised but how I was raised when you are spoken to or asked a question you answer them back and look them in the eyes when your talking...not just ignore the person...and when that other person asks again say : I said Yes... wow...how old are you again??.. My Sondra has better manners..and that is saying a lot.

man.. Sondra..what a funny girl. She loves her brother...she can not keep her hands off him...since he has been standing with the support of objects she constantly stands behind him saying careful Stuart careful...and then she'll pull him down to his belly and says stay down Stuart. She has been so lippy lately and throwing fits... she learnt a hard lesson last night. We never force her to finish her plate..but we do during the week make her try her food at least a few bites. Well last night she only ate her pasta and didn't eat more than a 1/2 bite of her chicken breast. We told her she wouldn't eat anything else if she didn't take 2 more bites(Sondra is a constant snacker..she probably has at least 1 gogurt a night among pretzels and what not)... well as soon as she said she was done..she asked for a a snack...after repeatable saying no..and offering her my left over lunch for today and still she didn't eat that...she gave up...for a while..but it continued.. lol.. she is persistent... but we held strong...she did help feed Stuart some puffs and got a few of those... when Jake took her back to bed she sneaked out of bed and tried smuggling a whole thing of puffs to her room...I caught her tho...she thought she was so funny..
Also we are sitting on the couch...and Sondra is besides me Jake is in the chair and I say something about Facebook and Sondra goes I have a facebook!.. I say huh? She says I have a Facebook!..So I say what is facebook? She says I have one in my room in my big box (its where I keep all her important when she was a baby)....lol...it dawns on me she is talking about her photo album of all her... lol..yes your right Sondra- That is your own facebook...so funny

I have a confession...i look up baby names a lot... lol... I'm not pregnant nor intend to be till Sondra is in school..but I like to look at different S and R names...all of our kids will have those initials...so Its kind of like a game to me...I like to watch credits and see any ideas and I'll write them in the back of my journal...I want a couple or few more kids.... so I gotta keep track...and will have to get creative... My Grandma named all her kid's first names with Ds: Dee, Doug, Dave, Deb, Darcy, Darin. My Mom named all of her kids with JLR: Jessica Lynn, Richard Frank(obviously he was the exception), Jonas Lee, Jordan Levi, Jonelle Layne. But I had no intention of doing that until we found out that Baby No. 2 was a boy and Jake decided on the name Stuart. Our agreement is I named the 1st girls 1st name and him the middle..and vice versa with the 1st boy...but ultimately we both had to agree on the names...so with Stuart I seriously was not feeling his name Jake picked out but I thought anything but Kane (Jake's 1st pick when I was pregnant with Sondra)...but over time Stuart grew on me and now I can't imagine calling him anything different...in the very beginning when I first found out in my journal I called the baby "tanner" or a (I don't even know what the girl name was)....but I don't know why I actually liked Tanner...which this is totally off base but its funny i liked Tanner...b.c. Stuart's complexion is tan...bahahah..

WW has been good..I didn't get to officially weigh in Tuesday but I did at my Grandpa's house...and I lost 2 pounds it said...so hopefully that is pretty close to the scale at the actually meeting...this has been pretty easy so far..it don't bother me tracking what I eat...its all about portion control...my only gripe is I really don't get to drink all the sweet tea I want..

well I best be going...have a great weekend! :)

great verse:

Psalm 82:3-4

³ Defend the weak and the fatherless; 
   uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. 
⁴ Rescue the weak and the needy; 
   deliver them from the hand of the wicked.

Let it ice..let it ice..let it ice...but please do not knock my power out..

If you beleive or a little part of you beleive that abortion is ok..or you believe the Mother should have a choice and not the baby..watch this video...then lets talk about then...

http://herestheblood.com/

I found that link today..and omg... what is wrong with people... and I know it is very graphic..but its the truth. and if you feel disgusted by the video good for you..you do have a heart and in it you must know abortion wrong...

Tonight we are supposed to get ice...fun fun... hopefully I won't be going into work tomorrow driving in bad weather seriously frightens me..I hate to drive to begin with..but then bad weather...hmm..No....Jake already isn't. Today was supposed to be WW and I'm not sure if it cancelled or what..anyone know how to find out??.. I don't have no numbers or anything to find out...

Today has been a pretty uneventful to eventful day...I have been just trying to get work done...and when I was doing that my chair broke..which was sad to me..lol.. I loved that chair..well then I had to run to the office store...and some roads were ok and others were like...did a snow plow even come down here???... I got a chair..and I love it!... very comfortable..I work 8 hours a day in front of a computer...its gotta be comfy! now when this ice coming..I'm a bit scared...we are gonna stay home if or till we lose power... I hate not sleeping in my own bed... 

Stuart has been pulling himself up on stuff...which breaks my heart....he is not supposed to be doing this stuff already! I know all babies are different..but Sondra didn't start crawling till 9mos...so why can't he just wait..but nope he is crawling everywhere and pulling himself up...eehh... I can't stand it...he is growing way too fast... 7mos and standing... 

Sondra...has been Sondra... last weekend..she found her baby ring...and she wanted to wear it...she wanted to wear it to wrestling but had to take it off b.c. if you wear it your married and she was afraid Lee might be there...and she is not married to Lee! lol..so funny. 

She has been tested me pretty thin lately... I don't know if its the age 3 1/2 or just b.c. I'm with her most of the time and she knows her daddy isn't there...she did remarkable well last week at wrestling at nasty LCC... but that is b.c. I had a lot of helpers there to help with her..which is very nice!! Thank you ALL!... 

Well hopefully...I won't be getting online at work tomorrow...and I'll be my warm cozy home making food..and just laying around with the kids and Jake... love Me :)