Why I started this..fair..wagon train..school

I couldn't help but read my very first post. I started writing this blog Sept. 1, 2010 (My 23 birthday). The life of this blog and I have close to 15,000 page views.. This was inspired after fair that year. I remember wondering what my old friends or acquaintances thought of me that "seen" me at fair. For some reason at that time I was feeling "not me". I wanted to be where I was but I had this realization that I wasn't who I was before and I needed to let go of people that were previously in my life. That I shouldn't feel hurt that they didn't call me. Of course they wouldn't call me. They were not married and had kids...but when I seen some of these people at fair  did they wonder how I turned out? Was I some shallow person, was I still getting in trouble, or did they even recognize me? Like whoa that is Joie Reffitt? Do you guys ever see someone from school and be like I didn't think they would turn out like that! My 10 year class reunion just passed and I really enjoyed it. It was nice seeing classmates and seeing where they ended up at and with who. I loved how I didn't have to introduce Jake...because Jake has always been around (bonus of High school sweet heart). Anyways with this blog I remember going what is the title??? and I was feeling at the time "Just a small town gal"..  I was seeing on Facebook classmates graduating college or how they "got out of that town" ect ect...and although I was very happy for them I felt less than but ultimately I don't know why I let those feelings inside my head. I never had plans to move away. I actually have always been proud to be from Allen East. I've always embraced my family and my church family. I am a "small town" gal and you know what...I love it. But I can certainly tell you I"m not average or normal or a sane one :).

Fair is calling and it is calling quickly. I'm ready for September for school to start..but August and fair..I am not ready. EEEKKKK... I can manage to pack clothes. I can manage the thought of the sheep because that is Jake's department. But the food....eeekk... One good thing is my sister and friend do suppers together. We each both have 2 nights that we are responsible for food. So that is nice. But like the day to day lunch or breakfast and drinks ...I need to get squared away. I hope mother nature is nice and takes it easy on us that week too. Please...nothing sucks more than being really sweaty and having to nurse a baby...that is just me... :) 

My 2 olders Sondra and Stuart are on wagon train this week with my parents. It has been kind of weird. Like what if we just had these 2 littles???... As much as is sickens me..I miss the loudness and the fighting and bickering...(I'm really not sane, but I have already told you that)…  But Sondra has been a outrider which is pretty neat! She has been riding Willy. So its 10 plus miles a day! That girl is getting some miles under her belt and earning some confidence. Of what my Mom tells me Stuart has been quite the social butterfly too. He has made a friend. I visited wednesday and he says here is my new friend Case…watch us fight…they proceeded to fight for the next 20 minutes. They take turns crying…lol..but i guess they have been at it all week.  

So its all getting real..Stuart's book bag came this week…I bought the school supplies for the kids too..I know Stu went to preschool..but its a official..Stu is starting his school career. I'm excited, anxious, scared. He was cracking me up…he picked out his book bag print and I asked him what he wanted it to say…(Sondra picked cowgirl) …stuart wanted it to say "I love grammy" that is what he calls his grandma's …I said no that is too long…figuring he would pick something else…so then he asks for "grammy's boy"…lol umm no….I couldn't let him get made fun of..lol… So I picked SRC … this will be Sondra's 5th year with her book bag…so I wasn't sure how he would feel about his bag saying Grammy's boy in a few years…and more than likely I'm sure Stu will keep his longer…this was the first year Sondra asked for another bag…I told her next year we would order her a new one…But now it is hitting me seeing Stuart book bag filled with supplies. Just crazy… my boy is off to kindergarten!

Welp! I must be going! Today is daycare day..I hear some stirring! Pray for me and these next couple weeks :)

Love,
Me 

Catch UP! 1.5 months later :)

I have been meaning to update since Skyla turned a month old..I thought to myself..I need to do that...like someone is waiting ...lol..but really... I don't think I need to go into major detail for Skyla's birth..I litterally did not touch my planner in over a month..1. I've been so busy..2. I really didn't love the planner...but after a few appointments being missed or late to..I found a planer I loved..think ARC and Erin Condren combined and much cheaper and at Hobby lobby..its called "happy planner"...but here is my update:

1 Month (We were in MI at a sheep show)

As usual my anxiety kicked up a day or so leading up to C/S... I tried all I could to repress those feelings...repress repress..I'm not going to think about it!...then day of..they are hooking me up for my IV and monitor before C/S and it took all in me not to fall asleep..we actually turned the lights off and I rested as much as I could because I was so tired..lol...thoughts of my new baby were not dancing in my head like sugar plums...my only thoughts were.."I'm too tired to take care of a newborn again...how am I going to do this??...wait a second..does this make me a bad mom that I am thinking this??? SHAME ON ME" then all of a sudden they are wheeling me back! The experience this time was actually really great. I didn't feel like I couldn't breathe like previous ones..I didn't have a hard time keeping my eyes open...it did take a little longer than last 3 b.c. Skyla never was right "there" head down engaged and I have scar tissue..... Leading up I was wondering how much she would weigh..and surprise surprise she was my 2nd biggest..When I was taken back to my room and waiting on Skyla to come to room all of a sudden I had this burst of energy back...I wasn't tired for the rest of my stay. I just think I was just hating the thought of having another C/S and I was shutting down! When Skyla got back and I held her and Jake and Jessy (she is my person...like I would never want to be alone if Jake was having major surgery I'd need some support if something happened..so I enlisted her to there)..after our initial holding..I tried nursing..and she from Day one hasn't ever had trouble...her latch is good (no damage to the tatas thus far)..her only issue or really my issue is she loves to eat!... which having 3 other kids can be interesting...  The kids loved her and I was worried most for Nia but she held her for at least 10 minutes of the 15 minutes she was at the hospital lol.. it got wild so they seen her held her and left! :) ... We had loved ones come and visit and meet Skyla which was really sweet.

Since being home we all have adjusted. Sondra is the pro..no really she is a pro big sister and the reason why Shania is such a great helper is because she has had a wonderful role model to know what to do. She also has done wonders in taking over Shania when she needs extra attention while momma is busy without even being asked. We even have to watch it because when I discipline her she will go to Sondra for comfort. Or even sometime when she is upset she would rather have Sondra....insert heart breaking here...tear tear tear ...sniffle.... WHICH I just need to remember that would happen whether I was a good or bad mom..she is getting her attention that she needs and deserves... Stuart always takes me back with Skyla...he isn't baby crazy..but he will nuzzle Skyla and talk to her in a baby voice and tell her she is his girl...time to time he will hold her... and Shania...is Shania..some days she is up my butt and I can't handle it others she stays away..but not a day doesn't go by that she don't love on Skyla..which is really cute....and scary... and I wondered how she would react to the whole nursing thing...it was inevitable:

I glance over while watching TV..lol.. oh Nia :) 

Skyla is almost 1 1/2 months old..jeeze..its gone by fast... I hug and love her..and gaze at her and think..am I done with this??? I just am not sure. My doctor told me she felt comfortable if I wanted to have another baby just not within a year. She "reinforced" incision and told me it actually looked better than when I had Shania. So I'm not sure...I'm just enjoying this babe as much as I can. 

Sondra and Stuart's birthdays have come and gone too! ... Sondra wanted to go to American Girl...and we finally did it Saturday...we have been so stinking busy..so last minute Sondra and a friend went. It was pretty fun..We stopped at Culvers for lunch then off to the store at Easton...Sondra and Aniya went from doll to doll checking out everything telling me stuff about them.then they wanted to go to Justice (hell in other words) and they picked out best friend jewelry...they actually picked out a hamburger best friend necklace...:) LOL that is my daughter! 

lol they wanted a picture together with their necklaces attached :) 

Stuart wants to go to chuckie cheese with Jude......I have so been putting it off but now he is begging about it again because Sondra did her birthday thing.. lol..I will I will!..I just need to get a sitter... 

I pose one question... going to the Michigan show I realized how hard it will be to keep tabs on my kids at the Allen County Fair..I'm looking for some type of GPS tracker for my 2 middles...does anybody have any ideas...I mean I know I am supposed to watch my kids...but I want something if they were to wonder off..I know they will... It freaks me out..at the show it was all Sheep people but at the fair there is a bunch of weirdos...I'm trying to figure something out...let me know if you guys have anything in mind... I mean look this is a common thing with these 2...: 

these 2 I feel like are always in trouble 

Welp I must be going... please pray for me and my own..and I can do the same for you!

6 days/Nurse/StuSchool/ECT

This time next week I'll be holding my baby girl probably blurry eyed because I'll restart the "whole not sleeping" thing... Less than a week...6 days...jeeze! We are slowly but surely getting ready...I've gotten 2 of the 4 rooms "cleaned" up for unexpected guests...but this week plan to get kitchen and living room finished...but those are high traffic get dirty easy rooms..but that will be done this weekend... and if your reading this...and you want to drop in..please call or text first..or even better yet...invite us over for dinner :) lol... 

just because my house will be a boobs out kinda thing for a while..I mean I should be covered up..but ya know..I can't count on what Shania will be doing... She has seen babies covered up while nursing but doesn't get what is going on... I can just imagine her walking around without a shirt feeding her baby...LOL... Sondra asked when I bought some bottles ...so are you going to feed this baby like me and stu or are you going to just pump or you going to nurse?  I told her my main goal is to nurse that I shouldn't ever have to feed her a bottle BUT I the bottles were for anybody else to feed her because I know her big sisters would want to!...and in the back of my head.... and Momma will need to be baby free every once and awhile so yeah!... Stu however asked me too in his funny way...I had my breast pump out of the box and he so affectionately talked "pump" ...he would imitate it while I did it....and he said are you going to be a "pumper" again...lol...no I don't plan on it full time...and he says so are you going to feed Skyla with your ..you know whats? the inappropriate word..lol... Yes Stuart I am going to feed Skyla with my Boobs. That is what God made them for its not inappropriate if that is what you are talking about. :) ... so it will be a adjustment...I've got 2 covers and a nice comfy bedroom that I can retreat too.

This week has been pretty busy too! Yesterday Stuart was tested for Kindergarten. I had some anxiety going into it. Even knowing that his teacher was already picked out but still for that test I was a little worried. Last year when he took the screening the first time I felt less than. I felt like I failed him. All along I'd been told oh he is a boy ect ect... he will be fine and then he was screened and walked out knowing we had a tough summer ahead of us because we had alot of things to work on before fall..and then a few days later receiving a call he couldn't get a spot in the 2 year program I was so upset. I recently had a IEP meeting with his teachers and Principal and we looked over his achievements and his yet to be achieved goals his IEP will follow him. So going into kindergarten screening his 2 areas he has issues with didn't worry me. It was his other stuff that he should be ready for. Our whole goal for him in preschool was to prepare him for the 1 year kindergarten program. So this was really in my eyes the "preschools" test if they got their job done. And you know what... going over his screening with the same person that did it last year it was great she was really impressed with what a difference had been made especially in his speech (she was my old speech therapist). The areas besides speech and fine motor skills he did great in he almost doubled his score in each area then his first screening. So that was a relief...seriously a big relief... I know next year will not be easy but I feel good him walking in the 1st day and his teacher knows his strengths and know his weaknesses....

Sondra has one more day of school left! I for the life of me still cannot believe that next fall she will be in 3rd grade. Oh Lordy...I again still can't believe she will be 9 June 27th... I think next year when she turns 10 it might even be harder...I'll turn 30..but her turning 10 will be a tough... double digits.... 

But once she is done with school hello sleeping in...well at least for a few days... I'm in the tough weeks where I'm going man this baby needs to get here..I'm not getting my usual 8-9 hours a sleep but past 2 nights I've barely gotten 5... lol... I've constantly have heartburn..I only get it when pregnant but it has never been nearly this bad...I sat up in bed for a few hours through out the night because I felt like I was going to puke! I think I'm going to try and sleep upright in my chair ..or at least start out there..I really love my bed so it drives me batty not sleeping in it! 

My last appointment went great on Wednesday. So my whole goal this pregnancy was not to gain as much weight as I did with Sondra or Shania... Sondra was close to 50lbs...Shania it was 35... I looked at my little card I took to every appt to track my weight and stats and seen if I didn't gain 8lbs in one week that I would be under. When I walked out I checked my card out and look at that!...I'm 10lbs less than I was at Shania's last baby doc appt.. I was so happy :)... this whole pregnancy I've tried to be more active ... and I have...I've intentionally been active and moving thank you  to my fitbit... it was a tough realization even before knowing I was pregnant at the time..but weighing myself and being absolutely uncomfortable with what it said...then knowing I was pregnant and deciding I'm not throwing it all to the wind just because I was preggers but don't get me wrong..I've ate like a pregnant woman But I've continued to move. My goal was to stay close to my "safe" number..so yeah...I feel pretty proud of myself...I have 20lbs to lose to get back to my happy number which feels attainable then from there will begin my "journey" into lets look like the "Joie" everybody remembers. lol..  

Well this weekend starts our weekend of getting stuff done and not doing anything we don't need to do besides Sunday... I'm going to a baby shower in greenville for a clum cousin then my parents have a 40th anniversary cook out that day too.. 

Well by the time I update you next I'll have my sweet babe...it might be a few weeks months or years lol....

Please keep me in your prayers especially Wednesday :) ... 

Love, 

Me 

  

  

14DAYS/ball/and stuff

Today..Officially 14 days till Skyla arrives...are you sick of the opening of my blogs...they usually begin with the countdown :)...currently I'm in the midst of washing the baby clothes right now... Once I get that done I'll feel really good!.. because my biggest worry stress of what am I going to do with my other 3 monsters while I'm in the hospital has been resolved too! With Shania ..school was still in and they were attending the Learning tree. So I was lucky enough my Mom was able to drop them off and pick them up while she was at work and  Jake and I were left to live a single child life living it up in the hospital! :)...Mommas are such blessings...I literally could not function without her as a parent... but anyways... school will be just out and I'm at home with them...luckily again..I'm blessed with lots and lots of cousins and my cousin Chloe will be watching the kids! Jake will be able to stay at the hospital the first night and then when he wakes up in the mornings he will just drop the kids to Chloe and pick them up later. I'm hoping or thinking I should be out on Saturday at the latest..have her Wednesday AM, stay Thursday Am, hey maybe I'll get out Friday lunchtime/evening...We'll see!.. but we are covered that is what matters!~.....

Softball and Tball are in full swing~... I'm really enjoying watching Sondra play... I didn't think or have said I wouldn't encourage Softball lol..but jeeze... its so much better than Tball... its coach pitch but its exciting...only down fall they do these cheers from the bench but many parents pointed out that it is very annoying but it keeps them involved and focus on the game and that they do out grow it... but these days..especially watching Sondra...I'm seeing her mature and wow she isn't a little baby no more she isn't a little girl no more either...She will be 9 next month....FLIPPING NINE YEARS OLD!...am I old enough to have a 9 year old??? dang... I blinked and here she is... my time hop has been blowing up with pictures of the kids and I just think...where did time go especially with Sondra.
Now Stuart and Tball... he has gotten better since last year... he likes to bat and is okay playing the field but you know his attention span so he does get reminded to focus..but I'm pretty proud of the kids...we got a young team and they are learning... Jake went in wanting to teach them fundamentals not just playing to win a tball game..but stepping when you throw know where the play is at..and that is what we are doing...there has been a lot of parent help so the few games I've been at its fun...except last night..last night it rained and we stood in the rain..no fun lol....

My Younqiue make up party was a success! I was able to get some really great stuff! I can't wait to get it either! Like... really really excited!... I'm stalking my tracking thing a lot..its not coming till Monday but I hope its sooner!

we have started the renters search and will be showing it to a few people next week...please pray all goes smoothly and we find the right renters. :) I don't need no stress in that area..we would love to sell it but again..we can't take a loss! so we might be renting for a while..which means...we will be waiting on building our forever home... that is the only hard part...waiting...I mean..in Lafayette we knew it was our "starter home"...we stayed there 2 years longer than we wanted...but that is okay...and now.. although we are very happy where we are...a big change from Lafayette..but we are happy...but I keep thinking of well "when" we build our new home ect ect... that is just how life is..but sometimes it seems unattainable..but I know its not... I know it will happen... I only need to be patient.

I hope whoever may be reading this everything is well with you...I know its not perfect..but I hope you are well! Please pray for me and my own and I can pray for you. :) anything specific just message me! :) I might update before baby is here..but I can't promise anything :)...

Love,
Me

D-Day/WeekendPlans/PreschoolMothersDay/MakeUpParty

Skyla will be here in 26 days..I could tell you then how many hours, mins, and down to the seconds...lol... its really real....its so real that I'm saying to myself am I ready for this??? On one hand I cannot wait to hold my baby and with my newest niece Brielle being born its really fueled the fire of I want my baby right now!... but I can't wait to bring her home to her siblings, see Jake with another precious little girl- who will begin this intimate relationship with him that at times I get jealous of... the kids look at him like he hung the moon... I just can't wait for all this to begin...but then I look at the count down 26 days... 26 days and I'll be getting up every few hours to nurse a baby... 26 days and our whole family dynamic changes again... 26 days and Shania's world gets rocked... (Sondra & Stuart are pros at this)...  wow... 26 days...then if I had a 3rd hand I would say I have 26 days left of ever feeling a tiny little human in my womb. Like I have said before I'm waiting to hear how my doctor feels about having another baby ever...but I think I'm to that point physically without the doctor telling me... if anyone has ever carried a baby the experience is just profound. You are never alone in your thoughts. Especially now Skyla has a bit of a busy session and nap session..and then feeling her hiccups. I'll miss this season of my life. So 26 days till D day...


Whats on the menu for this weekend... Friday is up in the air...my favorite Saturday Jake and I are taking a Concealed Carry class. Coming from a family that loves to hunt and shoot their guns I can't tell you I have any memory of myself shooting any type of gun especially a handgun. I never once felt unsafe being home a lone at my house growing up. I never felt really unsafe being a lone at home in Lafayette...but man..there are times when Jake is away and I'm the "adult" at home now with the kids I get a little weirded out. I can't handle when cars drive slow by my house or have pulled in and sat there a minute or 2 ect ect.. Or watching the news and seeing a shooting in the parking lot where I shop...or how I was getting into my car at Walmart with my kids and this man starts talking to me in the next car about how he thinks he knows me and wants me to come over and talk to him (at the time I had my hand on my taser and still felt nervous!) ... I don't like feeling helpless so yeah I've wanted a gun and have wanted to take a CCW class so I feel confident in how to not feel helpless! So Jake got me a gun! :) My first time shooting I was  a little dismayed like I'm not sure I can do this... then second time and with a little pointers I finally figured out the aiming lol... I kept saying I am going to be so embarrassed if I'm the only one who can't hit the target! Well I'm not really great but I'm going to keep practicing! Its actually kind of fun shooting.
Sunday is church day and mothers day. :) ... I love Sunday b.c. its unscheduled. we don't have any sports and its what we want to do which is usually outside working on sheep or barn stuff or sometimes its just vegging out doing absolutely nothing.... I've been doing a lot of that lately during the week so I'm usually up to being outside with actual people even if its dragging a chair for barn to barn lol .....


Today I went to Stuart's school for the Mother's day Celebration. It was so cute! He greeted me at the door with a paper flower bouquet. We sat first to eat a snack. Then we went and planted some seeds in a little cup he had painted. He planted only grass in mine lol :)... Then he made me a paper wind chime...which the greatest part he drew a picture of me with Skyla in my belly and then added himself to when he was in my belly too! lol He loved taking his little sister Shania around show all the "centers" he plays at. The most humorous was when we are eating snacks and a little girl comes sits by us and Stuart goes that is my girlfriend Lilly! lol (I have heard so much about also)... He proceeds to get her a napkin and cup for her snack AND tells me to scoot over! ha... and recalling throughout the whole time we were there we were not too far away from Lilly. It was pretty cute. and I wondered if Lilly knew she was his girlfriend- and after chatting with her Mom she said she was pretty smitten with him too. :)

Me & Stu

It was really neat getting to see the faces with the names that Stuart talks about. And it was very funny or a little scary when a parent says OH that is Stuart who I hear about so much. LOL... I always worry about him and his wild boy ways that he won't have many friends but walking out the door today I can see I don't think he will have a problem socially really... he is a bit of a clown..now that could get him into trouble....

Another thing anybody reading...if you have ever heard of Younique make  up I'm having a book party/online party... if your interested let me know I'll add you to my party group...after going to a party and seeing the foundation I was like a believer.also their mascara is crazy too....I don't really wear make up anymore b.c. mine is so old and my lovely daughters have gotten into too...like my most recent stuff is like 4 years old from Mary Kay...then mixed in is "expensive" make up that my Gram Sondra had in her bathroom that was going to be thrown away and said I could use that!...so yeah..that was what almost 6 years ago!...jeeze..so ya I'm due for a few things...but yeah..I close my party the 12th if anyone needs/wants anything! here is the link: https://www.youniqueproducts.com/LeslieJones/party/4090428/view

alrighty! I must be going!!! I hope everyone has a happy Moms day celebrating their Momma's or you being celebrated as a Momma.. pray for those who still in the process of becoming a Momma...and I ask to pray for me and my little family and I'll pray for yours. 

Love, 

Me   

Update the MADNESS!

Oh Lord- its the middle of April... I can't believe how time has flown how fast this pregnancy has actually really gone... I've tried not to wish it away...savoring the baby kicks... savoring the time of Shania as the "baby"... as much as I have been counting down the days to Skyla's due date- now I'm fearing the dwindling days... I've got my breast pump, bottles, udder cover, baby carrier, 1 wubbanub bink (had a 2nd but Nia grabbed that one up), and new boppy pillow...I feel "prepared"... but I still need to get a few boxes of diapers to be prepared...and I still need to dig out the baby girl 0-3 clothes out and wash those.....I still need to deep clean the whole house...eeehhh.... including the kid's bedrooms...that is what I'm currently working on with them...eehhh...thats just the inside of the house....... so yeah.. Pray for my anxiety... pray I get a burst of energy to get my list done!

I cannot wait for school to be out! see that is my dilemma though...the kids are out the 27th- Skyla is born June 1st!....LOL... but yes...I'm ready for "easy" mornings... as far as...I'm ready for my alarm to not wake me up at 6:20 and I start the process of waking Jake, Stuart, and then super spy quietness of waking up Sondra BUT not waking up her little sleeping sister 4 feet away Shania...

Sondra has started her 1st yr of softball. :) She seems to really like it. She has practice 2 times a week and then Stuart next week will start T-ball..well Jake too... He will be coaching...so Stuart's practices start next week and are on opposite nights which is good...once Games start sadly looking at schedule their games are on the same night...and with Jake coaching I HAVE to then take Sondra's games and will miss all if not most of Stuarts.....which then 2 times a week Jake goes to open mats for wrestling(I have learned that this sport truly never ends)......and once school is out..I'm going to send Stuart with his Dad to get him outta the house!...oh and Sondra goes to Piano on Thursday evenings.. So although we are just starting this craziness...I cringe at the thought of our schedule...but hope I can keep up... the problems of having multiple kids.... :)...so yea.. pray for my sanity please...

I'm looking forward to this weekend :)..like really looking forward...  I've always wanted to go to the Vera Bradly sale..and finally I'm going! Originally I was going to go Friday night stay in hotel have a bit of a girls night just a "retreat" since wrestling season has been officiallyover..but things fell through and now I'm leaving EARLY Saturday morning...but I keep thinking at least I'm actually going to the sale!! I love Vera product..I'm not a fan of all their prints but all my Vera bags have been awesome quality and hold up great... I'm looking for a diaper bag to carry for the "girls"...so you know I'm looking for a  big ole girly print bag to carry all their crap ... also looking for 2 small bags for Shania and Sondra and would like to fill them with little things.. be their big sibling surprise when they come up to hospital to meet Skyla...

Friday Jake and I are going to town with the kids to get Sondra a new glove (we didn't even think about the difference in baseballs and softballs but her glove is too small)... and also she needs a batting helmet..then Jake is taking the older kids to look at sheep and me and Nia are going to run to wallyworld... so fun fun...

Today- I discovered Shania's last binky we said she would have has some holes in it. I intended to wean her from her bink after Skyla gets here...but now I have no choice. I'm not buying her a new bink and I can't have her using her current bink for much longer... so Friday is the night... friday is the special day!... friday  is D day... ..I've been dropping hints today...oh no this is almost broke...oh no.. we will cut this off tomorrow...  so sincerely PRAY Friday evening....Sondra had all types of binks and we had a "binky party"...we threw them in a bonfire and then gave her a small gift... I'm thinking while at Walmart pick something up and then telling her she can have it once we cut her last binky off....

hmm... problems problems... lol.. I'm really to blame... I should have taken it a while ago..but its like saying she isn't a baby no more without her bink...hmm... its inevitable her growing up well all the kids growing up...but very much so with her right now... its been hard...I only see her as a baby and with Skyla's arrival in June it will be clear...it will be fact she no longer is the baby... I stressed and agonized with Stuart's arrival for Sondra... and then for Stuart... how their world will change how they will feel about me and their new sibling... so.. its clear to me I'm doing this with Shania now...and feeling even worse with just the fact that she is younger she is used to having my full attention since I've been home from day one and it will be harder for her to comprehend what all is happening...


Jake and I will probably be putting our house in Lafayette up for sale our current renters should be out by the end of June...so anyone in the market for a 2 bedroom home in town hit us up! We would love to show you it give me a call or text! 419-204-2072....

welp! I must be going!!!.. I could go on for days of what is running through my head... I've got lots going on... lots of prayer requests...so please remember me and mine in your prayers and I can absolutely do the same for you... Until next time...

Love,
Me

Update :) Family, Retreat, The Sun will come out tomorrow???, Reunion,,

about a month later and Skyla has introduced herself to her siblings already... well Kinda..Last Saturday me and girls our laying in my bed and Skyla begins Kicking/punching.... I say Sondra watch this!! Look right here...and sure enough..Sondra yelps! and then goes ehh that is weird...she really is in there... lol ..yes Sondra...Mommy really does have a baby in her belly... I think Shania believes it more. Its like Shania looks at me like Mommy..but my belly is the baby like a whole second part. Give Mommy kisses for bed my girl..No BABY! AND she pulls up my shirt and hugs and kisses till I manage to pull her up to me! Also- she has taken a real liking to her Dad...like she has even ignored me when Daddy gets around...which I told Jake to get ready in a few months she will be up your butt for real! which in part makes me smile..its sweet to see her cuddle with her Dad in his chair..she'll get his blanket and bring it to him and cuddle.. and Stuart was able to feel Skyla move around in my belly too... the look on his face was priceless .....lol... he said it's alive!!!!!

 This pregnancy this time around is tiring...I'm never one to wuss out..but man... I'm sincerely ready for June 1st. Or hopefully maybe she decides to come in May which wouldn't surprise me...and selfishly I'd love my mothers ring someday to have more than just 2 colors since Sondra & Stu are June Babies and Shania is a February baby. :) Now if June was Diamonds it would be a different thing though. lol... anyways... since finding out Skyla is Skyla..I just want my baby. I feel like everyone around has their Baby!...and then on the other hand I look at Shania... and soak up these days of her being my baby...I feel a bit guilty that I gave my other 2 a full 3 years of being the baby. I still pick up Stu when he asks..(well not since I got big)....but I explained to Jake I just don't know when the last time will be so I just do it even though I know he is 5 almost 6 years old...I'm going to do it till I can't!..I can't remember the last time I pick Sondra up...makes me sad..so I look at Shania..try to make experiences that we will "remember" or take pictures of before this baby gets here.... one I'm really excited about... Sesame Street is going to the civic center and we are getting tickets to take Shania!... aahh..I can't wait to see her excitement..her Dancing..can't wait... I'm going to try and get to the zoo too before this baby gets here! The kids get out of school the May 27 I'm going to try to get to the zoo before Skyla comes the 1st. :)

What else.. the women's retreat is this weekend..which I cannot wait for!!!!! I'm excited to have a weekend with the gals and solely worry and take care of myself spiritual, emotionally, and physically. Seriously- ready for this! its always a great time to be with the women of our church...the retreat theme is the fruit of the spirit and an awesome speaker is coming and we are doing one of those Paint sessions AMA is coming in to teach us..and there is crafts ect..I'm anxious for Saturday.

Monday and Tuesday...man the weather was awesome!...I can't wait till that is a constant..it was so fun playing outside taking walks getting my "steps" in...nothing is worse watching TV standing in place walking..just isn't the same... :S I'm ready to pick up cloth diapering again... I stopped when I couldn't hang my clothes on the line...so I'm ready to start that again too!!! WELL I'm hoping Shania gets really serious about potty training too.. I've I was harder or more structured she probably would be... lol.. I"m not sure how much to push it with Skyla's arrival impending... oh and I'm a bad mom she still has her binks too...eeehhh... I don't look forward to taking those... after the baby..by 2 1/2 well maybe by September is the deadline...Sondra was over 2.5..right before Stuart arrived...we may be having another "binky" party... lol... oh well..the memories :)....

Another funny..this summer should be my class reunion of 10 years...jeeze...seems crazy...I'm hoping its far enough away from Skyla's due date..but ya know..depending on my confidence I may just go even if its a couple weeks after her birth.. eh.... I like seeing friends I haven't seen in ages :)... me and my BF said we would be skinny for our 5..then we revised it for our 10...well damn... I guess it will be for our 15 (do they do 15) or 20... I'll eventually get there :) after all this baby cooking though!...

welp I'll see you guys later...
PS Pray for me and my own..we always need it :)... pray for the AE community

Love,
Me

Just one thing! Vday

Skyla Rachel has made her presence known to her Daddy....Valentine's Morning in bed I quickly grabbed Jake's hand...him probably expecting something different :) ..but I say...keep it right there...can you feel her??...and he did..she kept kicking/punching... we laid there a few minutes just feeling Skyla show her Daddy who she was... probably my most favorite Valentine's ever.....

Like always Jake spoiled his girls on Vday... Jake gave Shania a Baby ring of her birthstone with candy and a horse stuffed animal... Jake also gave Sondra her first pair of real diamond earrings and matching horse stuffed animal and candy.

For my valentine I gave Stuart a bunch of candy, gum, and tictacs (the kid's breath is disgusting) and a electric blanket. I busted out my electric blanket a few weeks ago and since then Stu had been stalking mine. Comes home from school strips down to his underwear and says I'll be laying on your heater blanket Mommy... :) So he has his own now for his bed...

When Jake told me what he got the girls I was like giving him a hard time and he asked if I was jealous...lol...and I said no i'm sure my valentine is making me a card at school and so I asked Stuart that day and he said No Mommy I am not...SO I acted sad...well the next day he came home with a card he had asked to make during his OT time and said I couldn't read it till valentine's day. :) So adorable... it had a cut out heart on front with Yarn strings on it and in the middle of the card Stuart had traced/wrote you pull on my heart strings and signed his name :) ... I love his OT helpers for doing that... also note... Stuart can be so very boy and tough and outrageous and uncontrollable and crazy and a rule breaker..but man....he is very sweet..not everyone does see it..but he is a lover for sure...

Jake and I are very intentional with valentine's day. I know its a made up holiday ect ect...but we take the opportunity for Daddy to shower his girls with love and special things and vice a versa with Stu and me. Eventually maybe Stu will want to take me out.. maybe next year :)

Until Next Time!
Love,
Me

SKYLA and SONDRA TIME

hello all! .... 

I cannot believe I'm half way through this pregnancy.  With all the kids I felt like I waited and waited for the halfway point..waiting for my 20 week ultrasound and finding out what the baby was... and then its like oh my gosh we are half way there....Jeeze!... well its old news but yes! We had our 20 week ultrasound...going into this pregnancy I'd be lying that I was wanting a boy. With Sondra it had to be a girl like mind over matter SHE was going to be a girl...seriously... with Stu I just knew.  Shania..I really didn't know either way my pregnancy with her was like both the kids... inside I wanted a girl for Sondra because she wanted a sister so naturally this time around inside I did want a boy. Sondra and Stu both wanted a boy. I reminded and reminded them that it was already decided what this baby was and God was giving us what we needed. I reminded Stu that plenty of people and friends he had only had sisters. So going into the ultrasound I was super nervous for Stu. I didn't want to disappoint him. Jake from the beginning said he felt like it was a girl. So it was no surprise to him! But thankfully she was cooperative and we found out it was a she. Wow!... We get in the truck and I'm looking at the ultrasound and Wow... 3 girls Jake...3 girls and Stu.. LOL... I had Jake stop at MelloCreme donuts because I really wanted a peanut butter filled stick and thought it might soften the blow for the kids. "eat your feelings kids"... but yeah..The kids sprayed silly string telling them what the baby was. Sondra starts screaming! lol.. Stuart his usual response to a girl...its a girl and hangs his head down..but thankfully quickly recovers and says well I don't have to share my room with her!!! Pointing at Sondra... SO that made it all better...Stuart still tells me time to time that its a boy..but I remind him NO I have pictures its a girl!... 

Then the next hard part... we could not decide on a name... like we had 2 names going in but once its like final or real you start to question them... They were Schuyler and Shawn... I liked them but the more I thought about it... They were so boyish...my first 2 girls have such feminine names.. would I really give my 3rd girl a boy name? another thing my 1st boyfriend was named Skyler... I'm sorry... that is just strange lol... so back and forth we went around and around..then one Sunday we made a note on Jake's phone... we put down all the names... we decided each day we would take one off... we got to about half way through the week and I asked Jake which name he was taking off that day and his reply was something to Skyla Rachel Clum - I think it's a meet in the middle. and there was some back and forth lol as usual.. and I said Okay then I guess she is named! .. lol.. Skyla was off a list of names me and Jess was going through one night we were hanging at her house. Once I looked up the meeting it means Scholar which so does Schuyler which then I read further was a Feminine variant. :) So sincerely Skyla was a perfect pick. My only take back was it "too different" in people's opinion I had that thought about Shania's name. But then you get to that point of its my child..I'm carrying the thing..I made it...so its none of your business. :) Only thing that matters is that me and Jake and the kids love it. of course Rachel is from my Sister in law. Leading up to the ultrasound I told Jake..."I think I want to use Rachel for a middle name if its a girl...well I know I want too"... so going into it at least we knew that :) .. 

On to much sadder things... I've heard of Sondra for the first time being "bullied"... like legit... she seemed a little off yesterday..but I was just assuming the whole..I'm a girl and I'm moody sometimes... then I seen a friend's status on Facebook that her daughter had a terrible time at school because she was picked on... I say Sondra... what happened today at school with said girl..you weren't being mean were you?.. (I don't really believe she would be but she is a kid its bound to happen but we are intentional at home how we treat people and differences ect ect but I'm not a fool and think my child is God's greatest gift :) ) She says no mom they were making fun of me and her laughing at us ect ect.... I said are you serious Sondra??? Did you tell the teacher??? and she said yea and the teacher said "ok lets not do that"...... so that is where I'm upset. Sondra and friend was straight legit bullied taunted like the kids surrounded them pointing their fingers laughing at them and that was the response. I never wanted to be that parent..but yeah... I emailed the teacher. I explained it bothered me that Sondra didn't think the kids were reprimanded for bullying them. Her teacher's reply this morning was she didn't even know they were making fun of Sondra too. (Sondra says when it happened teacher was out in hallway) Her teacher said that 2nd graders are mean one minute but friends the next. That if it occurred daily then that is considered bullying and a form would be filled out here at school.  And that to let me know it would be taken care of at school today. .... here is my issue with this... 1. you are made aware by a student kids were being "mean". You don't question further what was happening or who it involved? 2. Call it what it is. Even if it doesn't happen daily... they were bullied! (1 of 3 kids has already been in trouble for calling names Sondra said this past weekend) 3. Taken care of today?... I wonder what that involves....I don't think it needs to be something big...but something needs done or when I read my friends status and thought if Sondra has anything to do with this..she is writing those girls a letter about how sorry she was and how rude she was acting.... that is just me though... Students need to know when it is brought to their teacher's attention it will be taken care. I wonder why Sondra didn't tell me about it when she got home first thing... is it because Teacher didn't make a big deal about it so why should she??? I don't know. Just off-putting to realize it starts in 2nd grade... and like a good parent I'm giving the teacher the benefit of the doubt and believing it is being taken care today.  

I hope Sondra doesn't remember this like its not a big deal.. I remember when we first got into foster care and we started getting black kids and getting older ones around my age and they started school... I had never been around black people before but I was ignorant to the fact of racism ect ect. but I remember being called a "nigger lover" and not to eat after me because some of my friends were sharing a snack... obviously it was learned at home but still.. it was the first time I really even heard the word..but the first time I felt less than... that has always stuck with me so I hope Sondra just dusts this off her shoulders and moves on...I know its not the same being made fun of looks vs my situation..but still...its that first time in your life you really feel like you are the issue..its you..your different..in a bad way... 

which ultimately call it cheesy... I'm glad I have a bunch of kids. Because despite my failings and shortcomings of growing up and disappointing my parents because I was raised better... I get to do my best with my kiddos and instill the Strong and Kind attitude. That is what I call it..I messaged the other Mother and at the end I put Strong Kind Mommas Unite!.... Truly I want kind kids. 

Well that is all the belly hollering I'm going to do today! ...  until next time

Love, 

Me